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Goddess Girls: Athena the Wise

April 3rd, 2012 by pladd

This is the last Goddess Girls review for awhile! Still waiting for Book 7, Artemis the Loyal, at the library! And Book 8, Medusa the Mean comes out today!! I’m pretty excited to read something from Medusa’s point of view!

I don't know why Athena let Heracles be front and center on her own cover

Summary of Amazingness
By Patricia
Athena’s dad Zeus tells her to “help out” Mt. Olympus Academy’s newest student, a determined mortal named Heracles! Hercules must complete 12 Labors set by his lame cousin Eurystheus within one week to earn his place at MOA! Since Eurystheus is such a tool, the labors mostly involve catching or killing giant beasts, and Athena has her work cut out for her convincing Heracles to use his brains as well as his strength. Plus, since they’ve been spending so much time together, rumors are flying around school that they are in like with each other!!! How embarrassing! But could it be true?? Also, snotty mortal weaver Arachne challenges Athena to a weaving contest, and then weaves an insulting tapestry about Athena’s fly mom. So, pissed, Athena turns her into a spider as per her Revenge-ology textbook’s suggestion of “things to turn mortals into”.

Or, you know, just stab her face, whatever

Faithfulness to Original Mythos
By Steven
I admit, this one threw me for a bit of a loop; much as I love ragging on the mangled mythologies in these books, this one did a better than usual job of staying on target. So long as we overlook the bits made entirely out of whole cloth (Athena joining Hercules for half his tasks on Zeus’ assignment, Athena’s crush on Hercules and its attendant middle school drama, etc.), the only major departures from the original are those of omission. Hera is strikingly absent for a work about Hercules, and his parentage is (as usual for these books) tactfully not mentioned, but the Twelve Labors get a pretty decent coverage, albeit with slightly more interference from Athena than in the original. The tasks (not to mention Eurystheus) are rendered fairly bloodless, but this is a tween-age novel, so that’s to be expected. The only significant departure is actually not about Hercules at all, but rather regards Athena and Arachne; Arachne’s hubris is depicted fairly enough as is the spirit of her spiteful weaving (according to the Ovidian version, anyway), but the contents of both girls’ tapestries are rewritten extensively from the original. In Arachne’s case that makes sense for the book’s audience (her original is pretty much the laundry list of philandering shape-shifting gods shown in flagrante delicto), but Athena’s is changed from the original series of cautionary tales about contests between mortals and gods (and their inevitable outcomes) to Hercules’ labors, apparently as a later plot point. At least they kept the temple of the Twelve Olympians intact as the main piece. In summary, though, it’s pretty true to the story. Grab a copy of Ovid or Hesiod if you don’t believe me.

Steven read two actual books to write the above paragraph! This is why he's the expert

Tween Girl Life Lessons
By Patricia
1) Even if things seem impossible at first, there’s usually a tricky, riddle-like solution if you just use your brain.
2) Boys are strong, but kind of dumb.
3) Even if you like-like a boy, he should never try to kiss you under false pretenses.
4) In middle school, talking to a boy is a sign of betrothal.

Strong, but dumb

Steven’s Favorites!
Character: Tie between the Erymanthian Boar (or is that bore?) and Eurystheus, the cowardly king
Part: Zeus and his Cosmo-esque Temple Digest magazine. “Corinthian, Ionic, or Doric? What your choice of columns says about you!”
Thing I Learned: Little known fact; Revenge-ology is an exact science. Not sure about the proper response? Consult your text-scroll for handy tables!

Patricia’s Favorites!!
Character: Zeus. He only drinks “Zeus Juice”, which I think is code for ouzo, and sends Heracles on this ridic quest all to have something stylish to depict on his new temple’s walls.
Part: Athena defeats the hydra by confusing it with math!
Thing I Learned: The gods should sometimes show mercy to stupid mortals… j/k always turn them into animals lol!

Previously: Persephone the Phony

Or read them in order:
Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Book 4, Book 5, Book 6

Tagged: goddess girls, Middle School, Steven

Posted in Book Reviews |

St. Patrick’s Day Servery Challenge!

March 27th, 2012 by pladd

I’ve decided I really need a Servery Challenge banner to go right here on all of my servery challenge posts. I’m not sure what it would look like, but if you have any ideas you should tell me!

Anyway, last week we had yet another grueling competition of creativity and stamina, taking us to the very limit of our taste buds’ endurance. That’s right, it was St. Patrick’s Day servery challenge! As always, competitors had 10 minutes to create some kind of vaguely-edible concoction, and points were given based on taste, presentation, how much we liked the competitor, and how annoying they may have been about winning. Rob claimed the main goal was to “embody the spirit of Ireland”. If that was true, I feel we all owe Ireland sincere apologies.

The Entries

The Pot of Gold by Steven

The Pot of Gold by Steven
Ingredients: Bailey’s Irish cream, Bushmill’s Honey Whiskey, Goldschlager, with a potato chip garnish

This one tasted weird. Mostly like cinnamon, but also kind of milky? And a little bit like glue. Also, unlike everyone else, I wanted the full experience so I actually tried it with the potato chip rim, which added a whole new greasy/salty layer to what was already a strange experience. Steven later claimed that the potatoes were for Irish spirit and actually “to be avoided”. I think he was going for a layered drink, but it didn’t work out that way. The creaminess of the Bailey’s kind of mixed uncomfortably with the Goldschlager, which, to me at least, looked uncomfortably like Thomas’ unholy concoction “The Rob” from Chocovine Espresso Challenge ’11. Like an open sore or vomit. Speaking of vomit…

The Morning After by Rob

The Morning After by Rob
Ingredients: Strawberries, pickle juice, tequila, green food coloring, sprinkles

This drink will definitely go down in servery challenge history, but I’m not sure as what. An abomination in the eyes of God and man? Probably that. Here’s a making of shot:

Camera error, or sign of possession?

Yeah, look at that blender full of hell! Rob claims that drinking pickle juice after your shot of tequila is a hip new thing to do, but why he also chose to mix that with strawberries, I will never know. What does this say about your beloved Ireland, Rob??

Irish Breakfast by Patricia

Irish Breakfast by Patricia
Ingredients: Godiva White Chocolate, Cream, Lucky Charms Marshmallows, Green sugar around the rim

It turns out, marshmallows–well, “marshmallows”, I’m not sure how real they are–don’t taste very good when mixed with white chocolate liqueur. I was going to cut it a little bit with milk, but then we didn’t have milk so I had to use cream. I don’t know what went wrong. I still think this drink has the best concept (Lucky charms!!!) but potentially not the greatest taste. However, I urge you to go back and look at the pictures of my competition! Clearly mine wasn’t that bad.

Happy Ending by Megan

Ingredients: Cupcakes, frosting, sprinkles

How did Megan make cupcakes inside of ten minutes? Alas, she didn’t, violating servery challenge law. She brought the cupcakes with her and used the allotted time to sprinkle them. Is this any different than the pre-bought baked goods that both Steven and eventual winner Alana utilized during Blue Raspberry Servery Challenge? Judges couldn’t decide. It was agreed that Megan’s was definitely the tastiest, but we never could decide if she’d broken the rules.

In part because of this rule confusion, it’s still kind of unclear who won the servery challenge. Some say it was Steven, or Megan, or possibly “everyone”, although I don’t think I want to live in a world where Rob’s drink has won anything. A lot of this confusion is due to our inability to accurately interpret the rulings of our Celebrity Guest Judge and official tie breaker, Macy:

It's hard to judge a culinary competition when you're not allowed to have Human Food

Past Servery Challenges You Might Enjoy:
Chocovine
Raspberry Chocovine
Espresso Chocovine
Blue Raspberry
Sushi
Self-Portrait Cupcakes
Self-Portrait Cookie

Tagged: Ireland, megan, Rob, servery challenge, Steven

Posted in Servery Challenges |

Servery Challenge: Blue Raspberry Edition

March 23rd, 2012 by pladd

I am so behind on my Servery challenge recaps I actually have TWO to tell you about! Stay tuned for St. Patrick’s Day Challenge later!

So Blue Raspberry Servery Challenge began when I gave Rob a bottle of blue raspberry flavored syrup for his birthday! It was technically for flavoring snow cones but I figured he could use it to flavor all his food since it’s his favorite flavor. Somehow this turned into a servery challenge!

As usual, I had such a great plan that I finished first! Everyone else was clearly trying too hard:

Our kitchen is maybe not the best set up for such things

Steven even did some actual cooking!

Like with the stove and everything!

The Entries
Unfortunately, it’s been about a month since this challenge, so I’ve actually forgotten the amazing names that everyone made up. So I’ve tried to approximate them.

The Smurfelberry by James Fox

The Smurfelberry

Ingredients I remember: Rum, margarita mix, blue raspberry syrup, ice, lime to garnish, blue sugar on the rim

This one actually tasted pretty good, especially if you like things that taste kind of fake. James is also maybe the only one who added more than the minimum required amount of blue raspberry syrup!

The Slut by Rob

The Slut

Ingredients I remember: Apples, mozzarella cheese, canned peaches, blue raspberry syrup

The Slut wasn’t as bad as it looked, especially if you got a bite with some cheese on it. Some people claimed they would even like to eat a little more of it, except that Rob decided to mix it with mine after the judging, making that impossible. Here’s why:

Blue Spudsberry by Patricia

Blue Spudsberry

Ingredients: Instant Mashed Potatoes, Blue Raspberry Syrup, Water

The beauty of this recipe is its simplicity. I just substituted the blue raspberry syrup for most of the water you’re supposed to mix into the fake mashed potato powder. They don’t have any “plain” instant mashed potato flavors so it also had a buttery taste. Delicious! It actually tasted mostly like mashed potatoes with an after taste of delicious fake raspberry.

Gangrenous Cake by Alana

Gangrenous Cake

Ingredients: Angel food cake, raspberries, blue raspberry syrup, lemon pudding, ???

Like most servery challenge novices, Alana blew most of us out of the water by actually trying. She topped her angel food cake with a kind of pudding sauce that tasted more lemony than blue raspberry, and some actual raspberries! It was delicious.

The Trying Too Hard by Steven

Trying too hard

Here’s a close up:

Steven loves presentation, of course

Ingredients: Key lime pie, blue raspberry sauce, sugar, water, whatever else you put in a “reduction sauce”

Steven’s was essentially key lime pie he bought at Food Lion with a blue raspberry kind of sauce. Of course it tasted good–who doesn’t like key lime pie?

The Voting
I forget who voted for what. Sorry. But Alana won!

WINNER!

Previously: Espresso Chocovine Challenge
Next: St. Patrick’s Day Challenge!!

Tagged: James Fox, Rob, servery challenge, Steven

Posted in Servery Challenges |

Goddess Girls: Persephone the Phony

March 20th, 2012 by pladd

Book 2 of the Goddess Girls series! This time we finally get to hear from quiet, nature-loving Persephone. The Fluttershy of Goddess Girls, if you will.

I would've gone with Persephony, but whatever

Summary of Amazingness
By Patricia
Sometimes Persephone just wants a little peace and quiet, but finds herself following her mom’s advice “going along to get along” and not telling her friends what she really feels. Way to go, PersePHONY! Then she meets cute loner boy Hades and likes him because he calls her on her bullshit. But he’s from the underworld so both her mom and her friends tell her to STAY AWAY! Fed up with being told what to do, she decides to dramatically run away from home one night, using her goddess powers to disguise herself as an old lady and flee to Hades in the Underworld. He’s only worried about her safety and that her mom will think he kidnapped her (lol) so returns her home. After a heart to heart with her mom and her BFFs, Persephone and Hades attend the school dance together!

All a hilarious misunderstanding!

Faithfulness to Original Mythos
By Steven
Oh Persephone, you get such a bad rap in mythology *and* this book. However, while the book Persephone is meek, mild, and passive-aggressive in a way most of us will find very familiar, her mythological counterpart was anything but. Hades-as-emo-boy is also something of a stretch, though, since the original was much less emo and much more devious and aloof. Witness the downfall of Pirithous for a good example. Demeter as helicopter mom is pretty funny, and at least a little true, though this book gives it a slightly happier ending. Double points for including Hypnos and Thanatos in the underworld, though, and for avoiding the slippery slope of the Dantean Underworld that so many people fall into when trying to describe the Greco-Roman version. And points again for Hades’ subterranean (tunneling?) chariot. All in all, this one did a better job than most of putting in the details with less inventive fluff. Kudos!

A slippery slope

Tween Girl Life Lessons
By Patricia
1) If your parents and your friends disapprove of your boyfriend, that makes him EVEN BETTER because clears you are starcrossed lovers!!
2) Running away from home and other desperate bids for attention always work.
3) Cemeteries are the hipster hangout of the pantheon (or maybe Olympian make out point?)

Steven’s Favorites!
Character: The shades in Tartarus. “And anyway, even if I did take the food and money, I needed it more than those orphans!”
Part: Persephone’s attempt to sneak back home after running away to the Underworld. Breadstyx and nectar water for comfort food!
Thing I Learned: Apparently, in ancient Greece, they were called “chariot moms.”

Chariot moms just need to learn to give their daughters a little space

Patricia’s Favorites!!
Character: Hades. I am all about his portrayal as a sad, misunderstood emo kid.
Part: Ares taunts Hades by calling him “Death Boy”, which would be a pretty good name for a band.
Thing I Learned: Charon is surprisingly easily fooled for a guardian of the land of the dead

Previously: Athena the Brain
Next:: Athena the Wise

Or, if you want to read them in book order Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Book 4, Book 5, Book 6

Tagged: Book Reviews, goddess girls, Middle School, Steven

Posted in Book Reviews |

Goddess Girls: Athena the Brain

March 12th, 2012 by pladd

This is actually the first book in the Goddess Girls series!! I assumed maybe it would clear up some of the confusion I’ve had during the other volumes, but alas. Still no explanation for Athena’s mom being a fly.

I'm super sad that Poseidon doesn't have turquoise skin on the cover

Summary of Amazingness
By Patricia
Athena gets a letter revealing that Zeus is her dad!! And inviting her to attend prestigious Mt. Olympus Academy! So she says goodbye to her beloved foster sister Pallas and heads off for intellectual adventure! Of course she’s nervous and confused; why are the classes on such weird topics? Why is Medusa such a mean girl? Why is her mom a fly? But she quickly makes friends with the other main Goddess Girl characters, tries out for the cheerleading squad, and decides to invent something cool for mortals to win the invention fair. Medusa STEALS one of the inventions, a shampoo, and ends up with snake hair that can turn mortals to stone. Luckily Athena tricks her into using it on herself. She accidentally wins the invention fair with her amazing olives, and wins as her prize the chance to invite her friend Pallas for the weekend! Yay bffs!! Bffs we never hear about again.

Faithfulness to Original Mythos
By Steven
First things first, why is Pallas some mortal girlfriend of Athena’s? Pallas (as a contemporary of Athena) in the mythology almost always refers to the Gigante (or giant) Pallas, or Pallas son of Lycaon who was one of her early teachers. The former she imprisoned underground and the latter she accidentally killed, so either way I can see why they’d avoid the subject, but why introduce a spurious character altogether? And anyway, Pallas is usually a cognomen of Athena, as in Pallas Athena or just Pallas for short. Points for Odysseus and the Trojan Horse, and I like their version of how Medusa got her snaky hair (hint: Athena was involved, yes, and so was Medusa’s crush on Poseidon, but the reason was a lot sexier than an accidental shampoo mixup), but points off again for their Metis-as-fly idea. Sure, Metis was tricked into her fly shape and swallowed by Zeus, but she is not, intrinsically, a fly. Nor were they, after that event, on particularly good terms. And then there’s the whole born-fully-grown-and-clothed-in-armor-of-bronze bit missing… All in all, four stars for fun, two stars for accuracy. Not the worst start, really.

When Steven writes a book series for tween girls, you can bet this is the first thing that's going down

Tween Girl Life Lessons
By Patricia
1) BFF 4 LYFE! Or at least for the first book in the series
2) You shouldn’t crush on a boy who thinks he’s smarter than you when you are clears the Goddess of Wisdom–what a douche
3) Girls can do science!!
4) When disasters happen to mean people, it’s okay not to save them

Steven’s Favorites!
Character: Medusa, hands down. Her bitchiness is only equaled by her snark. Good combination.
Part: The magical brainstorm and its ensuing rain of ships!
Thing I Learned: Trident gum was named by Poseidon so that none of us would ever forget it’s called a Trident, not a pitchfork.

Patricia’s Favorites!!
Character: Poseidon! His invention is a water park, you guys! And he has turquoise skin!
Part: Medusa and her sisters taunt Athena with this inventive chant: “Give me an F! Give me an L! Give me a Y! What’s that spell? Athena’s mom!”
Thing I Learned: At MOA, all trophies are painstakingly carved from stone by Zeus, so the school trophy case must look like a collection created out of Playdoh by a preschooler with giant, awkward hands.

Previously: Aphrodite the Diva
Next:: Persephone the Phony

Or, if you want to read them in book order Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Book 4, Book 5, Book 6

Tagged: book review, books, goddess girls, Middle School, Steven

Posted in Book Reviews |

Goddess Girls: Artemis the Brave

February 7th, 2012 by pladd

Steven and I are speeding through this Goddess Girls series (probably because it was written for 12-year-olds)!! This week we read Book 4, Artemis the Brave! Artemis is a much shyer, less ridiculous main character than Aphrodite, so she was less entertaining.

Summary of Amazingness
By Patricia
A cute but arrogant boy named Orion has transferred to Mt. Olympus Academy!! Just like Artemis, he really likes dogs, but he barely has any time for his because he’s too busy scheming to become a star on the stage! After cheating his way into the lead in the school play, Orion pisses everyone off by being such a self-centered jerk, except Artemis who thinks he’s just misunderstood. But when he steals her magical silver arrows to win the school archery contest, she has had ENOUGH and gives up her crush, apologizing to her brother and friends for blowing them all off. Orion ends up bailing on the play, but then comes back at the last minute and Zeus lets him play the part of the “stars” by taping lights to him and hanging him from the ceiling. Get it?? GET IT???

You had no idea Greek mythology had so many puns, did you?

Faithfulness to Original Mythos
By Steven
This one got a lot more metaphorical with any reference to the original myths. So Orion enters the story as a possible love interest for Artemis, but ends up as a star. That much is shared by both the book and the myth, but at any level more detailed than that it breaks down considerably. Orion does get the rivalry of Apollo, but doesn’t have his mythic prowess with the bow. He does face the Scorpion, but isn’t killed and Artemis intervenes rather than being on the scorpion’s side. He does have Sirius, his canine companion and familiar star, but he isn’t shot in the end by Artemis, though she does leave him to his fate. Apollo’s failed romance with Daphne shows up as well, albeit without her turning into a tree. Apart from that, the rest is just cameos by familiar characters and monsters, like Geryon and Echidna.

Typical middle school relationship drama

Tween Girl Life Lessons
By Patricia
1) If your friends think your new crush is a jerk, he probably is
2) Don’t let a guy take over your life–you still have time for archery practice!
3) Bravery is about doing something despite your fear!
4) Theater geeks ruin everything

Well, they do

Patricia’s Favorites!!!
Character: Pandora!! The text describes her as having “blue and gold bangs shaped like a question mark because she’s so curious”. How do you shape your bangs like a question mark???
Part: Orion is mortal but wants to sparkle like the gods, so he buys shimmering body glitter called “Godbod” and slathers it on himself constantly.
Thing I Learned: Athena’s mom is a fly that lives inside Zeus’ head. No more explanation is given.

Seems legit

Steven’s Favorites
Character: Ms. ThreeGraces. Combining the Charites into a single Beauty-ology teacher is only too appropriate.
Part: The archery; apparently you have to train your arrows beforehand for them to work correctly?
Thing I Learned: Apparently you can go from being the dragon guardian of the Garden of the Hesperides to being a crafty Beast-ology teacher. The Greeks gods clearly knew a thing or two about lateral job mobility.

Next Time: Aphrodite the Diva!!
Previously: Aphrodite the Beauty

Or read them in order: Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Book 4, Book 5, Book 6

Tagged: Book Reviews, goddess girls, Middle School, Steven

Posted in Book Reviews |

Goddess Girls: Aphrodite the Beauty

January 31st, 2012 by pladd

Middle School Book Reports just got a whole lot more awesome because I have successfully connived Steven Wiggins into helping me!!! I’m sure he wouldn’t have agreed if the book series in question wasn’t all about different Greco-Roman gods and goddesses in middle school! It’s called Goddess Girls by Joan Holub and Suzanne Williams! Clearly Steven wanted to be the first classics major to really make a close study of this groundbreaking new text in the field.

You can tell he's secretly enjoying himself

Props to Caitlin for convincing me to read all of these!! Well, she mainly just posted a link to it on my facebook wall, clearly well aware that I require almost no convincing to read ridiculous tween book series based somehow on really violent and sexually explicit ancient source material! Of course I immediately checked out as many as the library had available. Therefore I’m not reading them in any order–this one is actually book 3–but they each seem to be a separate story so Steven and I were not completely bewildered. Well, Steven was, but that was mostly about the term “godboy”.

I can't be the only one weirded out by her gigantic insect eyes, right?

Summary of Amazingness
By Patricia
Aphrodite decides to give her frumpy friend Athena a makeover!! But then gets super jealous when school hottie Ares, her secret crush, starts paying more attention to her friend! Plus, Hephaestus, a sweet but ugly boy keeps sending her flowers and gifts to woo her and making everyone gossip about how they’re an item when everyone knows Aphrodite has got STANDARDS, you guys. Everyone learns a lesson about true love and being honest by helping Hippomenes trick his way into Atalanta’s arms, and Athena reveals that sleazy Ares just wanted her advice on how to get a city named after him. Then Aphrodite sets Hephaestus up with some other nerdy chick and everyone lives happily ever after.

Thetis is all like "Make me some armor for my son or I'll stuff you into a locker, NERD"

Faithfulness to Original Mythos
By Steven
Okay, so firstly let’s ignore the whole middle school metaphor thing. Or that in this continuity the instructors (Principal Zeus, Mr. Cyclops, et al.) are supposed to be >= 1 generation in age and stature above the students (Athena, Atlas, Pandora, etc.). The characters mentioned are all more or less representative of their Greek originals–with the juicy bits left out–and there were a few standouts outside the normal range of the Pantheon. Props to the author for including not just Medusa, but also her sisters Euryale and Stheno, and double props for providing Ares the posse of Kydoimos (confusion in battle) and Makhai (spirits of battle), even though none of the above are really provided any back story. Small mistake in making Makhai singular (it refers to the brethren of spirits associated with battle, including Kydoimos) but otherwise pretty accurate. The Atalanta story is pretty spot on and Hephaestus’ loss of Aphrodite to Ares and subsequent matchup with Agleia is quasi-accurate as well, if missing the whole sex-in-a-net thing. Small demerit (or prop? I can’t decide) for “Arachne’s Sewing Supplies” in the Immortal Market, where Athena goes for yarn and needles; isn’t that sort of bad taste on Athena’s part? Four out of five stars for accuracy, the fifth being that I can’t get over this middle school metaphor! And the term “godboy”, of course.

Tween Girl Life Lessons
By Patricia
1) Every girl is super hot if you just restyle her hair and slather on enough makeup!
2) If you don’t like the way your friends look, just change them!
3) Beauty-ology is a completely serious class that you need to study; Athena, as a nerd, is completely failing!
4) If someone’s not hot enough to be your BF (and it’s totally okay to judge them on their looks or disabilities, btws) just string them along for awhile until you can set them up with someone more their scene

Patricia’s Favorites!!!
Character: Medusa! Her snake hair is fab and she’s fatally dangerous to all mortal students at the school, but no one seems worried about that? Plus, she thinks “Bubbles” is an appropriately mean-spirited nickname for the Goddess of Love.
Part: Anytime anyone says a spell. Example: “Blow wind, blow. Off you go. Deliver this message, and don’t be slow.” Even Ron Weasley wouldn’t have trouble with that one!
Thing I Learned: I didn’t know that Hephaestus got married after his divorce from Aphrodite (in the book represented by him going over to talk to some other girl in the cafeteria)! Which is cool because I always felt bad for him before.

Her hair's so big because it's full of SECRETS. And snakes.

Steven’s Favorites
Character: The sentient makeup brush, hands down. Goodbye Pantheon, hello Beauty and the Beast! Pheme (goddess of Fame but also vicious rumor) gets a mention, too, if only for being written closest to her original form.
Part: The Immortal Marketplace: Arachne’s Sewing Supplies and Cleo’s (Cleopatra?) Cosmetics for the girls and Arts of Warfare for the boys.
Thing I Learned: I learned that adding “-ology” to any term immediately makes it an Immortal class subject. I’m now shooting for “Mortal-ology,” hopefully this series’ answer to HP’s “Muggle Studies.”

Goddess Girls Glossary of Ridiculous Terms
textscroll–like a textbook, but a scroll! Comes in colors
scrollizine–a magazine! Useful for getting makeover inspiration
godboy–the boy equivalent of a “goddessgirl”
lyrebell–how you tell when to change classes!
hero-ology
beauty-ology
craft-ology
beast-ology
metal-ology

Next Time: Artemis the Brave!!

Or read them in order: Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Book 4, Book 5, Book 6

Tagged: Book Reviews, books, goddess girls, Middle School, Steven

Posted in Book Reviews |

Life Update: January 2, 2012

January 2nd, 2012 by pladd

Dear the Internet,

Happy New Year! What’s new with you? Here’s what’s up with me:

1) I had my first trip to the emergency room on Thursday! How exciting! I cut my foot pretty badly on the glass out of a picture frame (why are those things so sharp??) and rather than attempt reattaching it, the doctor decided to just remove the part I’d almost cut off anyway! My dad took some pictures at the time, possibly because he thought being annoyed at him would distract me from the pain of getting part of me cut off, but I’m not going to show you those. You’re welcome. Here is my foot now, four days later:

I included my non-injured foot so you could see the difference

It’s not a huge wound, but apparently you use the side of your foot a lot more than you think, because I’m still hobbling kind of funny. It’s getting better though! And they assured me that the nail would grow back only slightly wonky. I’m pretty sure this is my foot’s revenge for me airing my past grievances about its size to you.

2) Steven made hoppin’ john for New Year’s yesterday, and it was delicious!