Posts Tagged ‘pictures’

The Three Best Things To Do In North Dakota

Most people think that North Dakota is a barren wasteland, continually buried under a thick blanket of snow and ice. Though this is mostly true, there is a two week window where it is habitable which doesn’t get that much publicity. Speaking of publicity, North Dakota’s current advertising strategy is a picture of an empty interstate, fields on either side, with the caption “North Dakota: The Morning Commute”. Since I only saw these ON THE INTERSTATE that was pictured, I think it was a great way to drive the point home: “Nothing here! Our state is totally empty!”

Which is strange, because it’s not ENTIRELY true, and you’d think the state tourism board would want to capitalize on these exceptions. Here they are, the best three things to do in North Dakota:
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Misguided Travel Guides: Cousins Who’ve Just Had Babies

So on Tuesday Steven and I had just pulled into a La Quinta Inn in dreary West Texas when I got a text message from my cousin Michelle informing our family that she was inducing labor the following day and we’d soon have a new cousin. Since this is my Movie Cousin, who lives in LA and who I’d planned on staying with, I found this news somewhat disconcerting. Can you stay with someone who’s just given birth four days ago? Apparently yes!

And, okay, it’s not like Jeremy’s house, in that you aren’t having food pushed on you at every turn or discovering the secrets of Jeremy’s psyche, but there is a lot of sleeping baby holding involved, and that’s never bad:

OMG so tiny!

OMG so tiny!

So I would say to definitely go for it, if you have the opportunity/really nice cousins who don’t mind you eating their food and sleeping on their couch while they’re still sleep deprived.

They also have two fairly large dogs whom Steven spent a fair amount of time wrestling with around the time this picture got taken (otherwise they became preoccupied with licking the baby’s toes). Unfortunately there are no pictures of Steven lying on the ground with two large dogs attempting to lick his face and bite each other at the same time. Rest assured; it really happened.

Misguided Travel Guides: Jeremy’s House

If you’re ever in Albuquerque and can somehow swing it, I suggest you stay at Jeremy’s House. Seriously, it is amazing. 80% solar powered, with beautiful vistas of the city (especially at night), Jeremy’s Mom will even heat up leftovers for you and suggest you take biscotti for the road! I was a little worried when his dad asked “So, how do you know Jeremy?” and I had to reply “I’m… his friend?” while trying to ignore all the times I have made fun of him in Cabinet minutes, called him JerBear, or made small, jabbing remarks about his constant, constant geology field trips to non-geological places like Paris. But then we started talking about Jeremy’s various schemes and we felt right at home.

Also, Jeremy basically has an ornithological zoo in his back yard:
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Misguided Travel Guides: Sandia Peak aka Roque’s Mountain

This is Roque’s mountain:

Towering above Albuquerque like a sleeping giant

Towering above Albuquerque like a sleeping giant

It’s actually Sandia Peak (or something–I promptly lost the brochure, like everything else on this trip), but Roque used to work for the Forest Service there. My actual first memory of Roque is very distinct (and is relevant): we were standing in line by the soda machine in the Servery during O-Week and he told me that “Most people know Smoky the Bear, but very few know about his friend, Woodsy the Owl”. Actually, now that I think about it, that could be my first memory of Jeremy. Damn you, Albuquerquians and your mutual interests! In any case, I know for a FACT that Roque once told me a vaguely naughty story involving Woodsy the Owl. Anyway, he worked there and talks about forestry sometimes so they are linked in my mind. The two times I have visited I always conscientiously text him from the top to tell him I’m spreading rumors about him amongst his ex-co-workers. He’s never once replied.

Anyway, the big deal about this mountain, besides its Wiess-associations, is how you get to the top:
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Misguided Travel Guides: White Sands National Monument

If you drive forever down Highway 70 in New Mexico, just the sort of place you’d expect to run out of gas or break down at the start of a Tex-Mex themed slasher film, you’ll pass some missile testing sites, an inexplicable border patrol check point, and White Sands National Monument. I’ve wanted to go ever since Josh Langsfeld told me in a postcard that it was “like being on the moon.” Which I guess could be true, if Josh’s version of the moon involves being blisteringly hot and sledding down sand dunes, the two principal activities at White Sands.

Just Like When Neil Armstrong Visited

Just Like When Neil Armstrong Visited


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Roadtrip: The Epic Journey Begins

Hopefully by the time you read this, I’ll already be on I-10, rocking out to my playlist composed of every song on my iPod that contains the words “road”, “highway”, or some kind of place name. I’m not sure what this means for my “WITHOUT FAIL” updating; with any luck, I’ll be updating more, reporting on the day’s adventures, but that largely depends on our ability to find The Internets. Luckily, Steven Wiggins can sniff out free wireless like Jeremy Caves can recognize a non-biodegradable cup from thirty yards. The itinerary remains comfortably vague, a welcome change from my militarized childhood vacations, but here are the concrete deets I have.
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The Creative Process: Long Island Iced Tea Version

For some reason, Anna Baron has commissioned me to write a One Act for her to direct next year. Thinking that this year’s play would be my last chance to show off my “forgettable dialogue” as the Thresher put it, I’ve already used up all my good ideas. Seriously, here’s the list I brought to college. I think it applies, not only to one acts, but to life:

Patricia’s List of Good Ideas
1. LIVE ANIMALS
2. Witches!
3. More singing
4. Tape inanimate objects to people as much as possible
5. Find silly nickname–ADJUST WARDROBE ACCORDINGLY
6. This:

Yeah, that's Dhruv in a leotard and tutu made for six-year-old girls

Yeah, that's Dhruv in a leotard and tutu made for six-year-old girls

As you can see, I’ve already used up all of them because, unlike THE 434, I’m good at completing lists. This means I’ll either have to write a whole new list of good ideas (though I can’t see how it’ll beat that one) or attempt to use the same one over again without anyone noticing. But how can we get Dhruv back into that tutu? And can I somehow make it a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure One Act? I’ll ponder these.

Lately, my strategy has become sitting down in the depressingly empty Wiess commons at meals and announcing, “So I have to write this one act…” and then making a list of everything people suggest. In the end, all I’ll have to do is find a way to squish everything on the list into one play. It’s the Long Island Iced Tea version of the creative process. AND IT ALWAYS WORKS. Here are just some of the gems I got tonight:

Dr. Gustin: You should write about a married couple!
Denise: You should write about your road trip!
Dr. Gustin: Wait, you could have some kind of trial and then pick audience members to be part of the jury! It could be a different outcome each night!
Me: So a choose-your-own-adventure couple’s road trip courtroom drama?
Roque: Ummmm… (his face says he wants to be the voice of reason, but he’s just not man enough)
Me: Genius!

And clearly the best way to get inspiration for this epic tale of melodrama and audience participation is to experience my OWN courtroom drama on our road trip. Like most of my goals, this one can easily be solved with a simple game of Truth or Dare. Here’s the plan I’m going to whip out about half-way up the Pacific Coast:

Me: TRUTH or DARE?
Steven: Ummmmm… Truth.
Me: That’s the wuss answer.
Steven: Okay, dare.
Me: I dare you to steal the World’s Largest Holstein Cow! Pride of New Salem, North Dakota!!
Steven: Crap.

That should get the job done.

Oh, and I’ve declared myself the Winner of the Cookie Self-Portrait Contest. My Secret Mystery Prize is not having to come up with a Secret Mystery Prize. Thanks for your votes/nitpicking (Brian).

Servery Steven’s Kitchen Challenge: Self-Portrait Cookie Edition

In accordance with list item #70: Servery Challenge: Signature Drink Edition, THE 434 had its final Servery Challenge EVER this week. These always involve Top Chef-style timed challenges, but in the Servery and with some kind of “celebrity judge” (i.e. Brent or a prospie or Arya). My personal favorite was Servery Challenge: French Fry Structure Edition or possibly Servery Challenge: Soup Out of Not Soup Edition, in which I got Drew the Prospie to eat ice cream mixed with yogurt mixed with green beans in a thinly veiled poisoning attempt masked as “dessert soup”.

Yesterday I was so distraught at the end of our Servery Challenge days that I decided to challenge Steven Wiggins to a Servery Challenge-like contest in his kitchen: cookie self-portrait. The celebrity judge? Anyone reading my blog! For the first time ever, the challenge will be decided democratically instead of at the whim of Dr. Gustin or whoever.
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