Posts Tagged ‘North Dakota’

4 Interesting People From North Dakota

Are you sick of hearing about North Dakota yet? TOO BAD because I got a new book on it for Christmas. It’s called Did You Know That…?: 46 Fascinating Stories About People Who Have Lived in North Dakota (vol 4). You may think it’s kind of a weird gift–especially being volume 4 in a series, but my uncle is a whimsical Santa who knows Christmas is the best time to clean out your apartment of random things you don’t want (my cousin received an empty tape dispenser and half a candle). Joke’s on him anyway, because I READ IT. Well, not all of it (yet). Eventually I got bored reading about all the dudes who rode with Custer and skipped ahead to find the ladies (there were 5–this is how history works). But it turns out, some of the people were fascinating! Well, interesting anyway. So I’m giving it to you straight:

1. Isobel Gunn: North Dakota’s First Crossdresser

There aren't any pictures of her, so here's another girl-pretending-to-be-a-boy

There aren’t any pictures of her, so here’s another girl-pretending-to-be-a-boy

Isobel Gunn (1780ish-1861) was born in Scotland, and soon decided that being poor sucked. So, she dressed up as a dude and got a job with the Hudson Bay Company to see beautiful Canada! She was found out in 1807 when she gave birth in what is now North Dakota. Like, on the floor of her boss’ house. Awkward. The father was a dude she’d been sharing accommodation with, and he didn’t stay with his small family long. Isobel and the kid were sent back to Scotland, because North Dakota was still No Girls Allowed. Bummer, Isobel.

2. Charles DeRudio: Custer’s Most Ridiculous Officer

And best facial hair

And best facial hair

Charles DeRudio is amazing. Here are some reasons why:

1. His real name was Carlo Camillo di Rudio (1832-1910) and his parents were a count and countess in Italy
2. He attempted to assassinate Napoleon III with a bomb in 1858
3. After being sentenced to death for that, his last request was to “smoke a pipe of tobacco,” and while he stood there smoking his reprieve arrived from the empress
4. He was then sentenced to life in prison in French Guyana, but after a year he escaped, stole a boat, and sailed to British Guyana where he was given asylum
5. Even though he eventually worked for Custer, he didn’t die at Little Bighorn because Custer didn’t like him and had him transferred to another company at the last minute
6. Why is there not a movie about this person?

3. Yellowstone Kelly: Noted Badass

He only wore things he killed with his own two hands

He only wore things he killed with his own two hands

They did make a movie about this guy (sort of). Luther Sage Kelly (1849-1928) made a name for himself in Dakota Territory as a respected guide and trapper, sometimes helping to deliver the mail hundreds of miles across treacherous terrain. There’s all the usual stories about him having daring Wild West battles with Native American warriors, but he was also known for being unfailingly honest and humble, rarely speaking, and almost never about himself. The best story about him is:

Having no greeting card, Kelly cut off one of the paws of a grizzly bear he had recently killed, etched his name on the paw, and sent it to General Miles. Miles hired Kelly as his chief scout.

Yeah, I’ll BET he did. You have to take particular notice of anything you receive written on part of a bear.

4. Enos Stutsman: Trying to give ladies the vote since 1868

North Dakota's cold, alright? Gotta keep the sides of your face warm somehow

North Dakota’s cold, alright? Gotta keep the sides of your face warm somehow

Enos Stutsman (1826-1874) must have had a difficult life–he was born without legs, on the frontier in 1826, a setting not known for its ADA compliance. Still, he managed to become a successful lawyer and kind of sketchy land speculator. I guess it’s easy to get around legal restrictions of selling land you don’t actually own when you’re the only lawyer in town. He served in the Dakota Territory legislature at various points, which is where, in 1868, he introduced a bill “to confer upon women the elective franchise and eligibility to office.” It passed in the house, but was defeated in the council (the upper chamber). Supposedly, this bill is the first such attempt at women’s suffrage in the US!

You know I’ll keep you informed of any further North Dakota related developments.

Writing to people on the basis of making my map look cool

Also to use up my 91 cent stamps

This week, among other things, I wrote a letter to the state of North Dakota from the state of North Carolina to point out that we both have North in our names so we should probably form a secret alliance against the other 48 states (read: chumps). It’s possible that I don’t have the jurisdiction to send such an invitation on behalf of my entire state, but, like the dishes, no one else was doing it, so I thought I might as well. I expect a favorable reply from the Roughrider State any day now.

Stay tuned for a Sam Neill update later today, Brian!

North Dakota: The Truth Revealed

North Dakota is maybe the least loved US state. You know it’s bad when even South Dakota is making fun of you. What’s the deal? Is it, as Canada tries to console you, that they’re all just jealous? That Massachusetts really just wants to ask you to the 8th grade dance and that’s why he’s always saying you’re a fat, worthless patch of nothing? Anyway, come on, who’s NOT fat compared to Massachusetts? Only prissy bitches like Rhode Island, that’s who. Really, North Dakota, I think if people would just take the time to get to know you, they’d realize you’re really a beautiful state with a great personality.

And, okay, maybe your interminable winters are known for the triple threat of frostbite, Seasonal Affective Disorder, and vampires, but we’re all cranky once in awhile, and that shouldn’t stop people from enjoying you in the balmy (if brief) summer months. Like I did last week! I’ve written before about North Dakota Time Travel and North Dakota animals, but this time I decided to concentrate on debunking some of the myths about North Dakota. Unfortunately, Steven wanted his camera for his sister’s graduation or some other thing that is CLEARLY less important than my North Dakota research. Don’t worry, I’ll try to recreate everything for you using the power of my words. And maybe MSPaint.

1. North Dakota Doesn’t Exist

This is something you used to hear a lot in the pre-Internet days, especially if you had Ms. Szabo for 6th grade social studies at Seminole Middle School. Luckily Google Maps has pretty much squashed rumors that there’s just a big empty hole between Minnesota and Montana.

Unless you think Google is ALSO in on the conspiracy

Of course, the currently more popular corollary to this theory is:

2. Well, have you ever MET anyone from North Dakota?

YES. Lots of them. But I realize not everyone can say that. I mean, unless you’ve met my mom too. I decided not to take a picture of everyone I met on this trip to prove this one, even though I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have minded. Everyone in North Dakota is polite, and usually pretty nice to strangers, maybe from having to band together as a team to survive every winter. Plus, they react with plucky enthusiasm to outsiders, possibly after having to argue their own existence so often. Anyway, I did some research for you on The North Dakota State Data Center and the US Census site to get you some numbers. The population of Bismarck, the state capital I was visiting is about 61,000 as of the 2010 census.

More about why Bismarck is awesome later. The total population of North Dakota is about 672,600:

I included my current state of residence for comparison

Since the total population of the US as of the 2010 census was 308,745,538, about 1 in every 500 people you meet is from North Dakota. Plus, TWO America’s Next Top Model winners have been from North Dakota. I’m not trying to say that everyone from North Dakota is model-hot, just most of them.

3.There’s nothing in North Dakota

Wikipedia does claim that North Dakota is the least visited state. True, it’s not really on the way to anywhere and doesn’t really have any “major tourist attractions”. For me, the giant slide near the Bismarck zoo will always be a “tourist attraction” but there are more legit things to visit. For instance, Theodore Roosevelt National Park! As you know, the only thing TR loved more than shooting things was photographing himself doing it, and North Dakota was an awesome place to do that! You too can see some of the animals that TR loved (and loved to kill) in the National Park named after him!

Like meerkats, but without the singing

Nearby Medora claims to be “North Dakota’s #1 Vacation” and features more old-timey fun with a bunch of cowboys and a ridiculously cheesy musical that’s been shown there since at least 1965.

The International Peace Garden on the border between the US and Canada is also kind of a big deal.

Admit it, you didn't think flowers could grow in North Dakota

This huge garden is the only thing that’s kept the US and Canada from going to war since 1932. Plus, there’s a floral clock! Good job, US Civilian Conservation Corps.

4. Nothing has ever happened in North Dakota

Oh, man, are you wrong! The best thing about Bismarck is that everything is named after either Lewis and Clark, Sakakawea/Sacagawea, or General Custer, three awesome historical figures.


What a great line up of North Dakota awesomeness! I know everyone’s always hating on Custer, but, as North Dakota likes to advertise, he was in perfect health until he left. Plus, both he and Sacagawea were in Night at the Museum 2!

TRUE NORTH DAKOTA HISTORY, YOU GUYS

Lightning Bonus Round

North Dakota’s State Beverage is Milk!
North Dakota has a hymn and a creed!
I bought a North Dakota coloring book that allowed me to do this on the plane:

The Three Best Things To Do In North Dakota

Most people think that North Dakota is a barren wasteland, continually buried under a thick blanket of snow and ice. Though this is mostly true, there is a two week window where it is habitable which doesn’t get that much publicity. Speaking of publicity, North Dakota’s current advertising strategy is a picture of an empty interstate, fields on either side, with the caption “North Dakota: The Morning Commute”. Since I only saw these ON THE INTERSTATE that was pictured, I think it was a great way to drive the point home: “Nothing here! Our state is totally empty!”

Which is strange, because it’s not ENTIRELY true, and you’d think the state tourism board would want to capitalize on these exceptions. Here they are, the best three things to do in North Dakota:
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Times I Have Almost Died: North Dakota Animals

When forced to think about North Dakota (sadly, most people will not do so willingly), they mostly mention how cold it is. Little do they know that summertime threats besides frost bite lurk in the ravines of the badlands. Fiercest and most mysterious of these is the legendary Prairie Shark:

Or possibly some kind of root. Still, SCARY STUFF!

Or possibly some kind of root. Still, SCARY STUFF!


The only defense against the Prairie Shark is to run away quickly. Luckily, that left me energized to deal with our other brushes with death:
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I Ate’nt Dead

Do you know how hard it is to even get a cellphone signal in Montana and Western North Dakota? The only person who complained about my lack of updates was my mother, who I think checks this blog as an assurance that I’m still alive. She urged me when she was finally able to get a call through that my “friends would think something horrible has happened” if I didn’t write soon. Clearly she worries more than all of you. Or has less faith in my instincts of self-preservation. And so, in honor of my mother, I will catalogue the Times I Have Almost Died over the past few blog-less days.

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