Posts Tagged ‘meta’

Things That Spell Our Doom: Google Analytics

Google Analytics has opened my eyes to a lot of things. 1) That I apparently have a growing following in Barueri, Brazil, 2) that my review of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is by far my most popular page to date, and 3) my picture from Deussen park in Humble was used in an article on Viral Eruption about ridiculous exit signs. If they think the sign’s ridiculous, they should see the buffalo.

However, the best part of Google Analytics, by far, is the ability to see what search terms led people to the welcoming embrace of The Plaid Pladd. Naturally the top searches this month were “patricia ladd” and “plaid pladd” but some other great ones include:

human leash (8)
dmventures (5)
“listen to showdown throwdown by miley cyrus” (3)
“oh no bella don’t you go” (3)
“it’s my fault for loving you too much” (1)
“scent-confusing” (1)
anna baron humble texas (1)
can we kill the people that don’t like twilight? (1)
cynthia bova blog (1)
edward undress bella (1)
is cookie crisp healthy (1)
plaid pants “murderer” (1)
sharks natural enemies (1)
timeline of plaid (1)
vampire egg love me twilight meyers (1)
waffle killed (1)

It’s almost like poetry.

This information is going to help me a lot. Clearly this is what people want out of me, so I should include more articles about vampire egg love me twilight meyers, twilight porn, and stalking Anna Baron. Don’t worry, gang, I have heard your silent call. Through google. And the software it gave me to spy on you.

Impetus

So one day a few weeks ago, I was trundling through the Wiess Commons trying to look like I had somewhere important to be, when Travis Martin of Wiess List Serv Fame stopped me and said, “Patricia, I’m really going to miss your minutes when you aren’t Secretary anymore.” Here’s the rest of that conversation, as remembered by me just now:

Me: Too bad! I’m outta this popsicle stand!
Travis: You know what you should do? You should start a blog!
Me: Travis, I have nothing to write about after I’m not forced to go to every Cabinet meeting.
Travis: You could just carry your lap top around with you and write what’s going on around you AT EVERY MOMENT!
Me: That’s stupid.
Travis: (begins to cry at the thought of forgoing his bi-weekly dose of Patricia)

And while I stood there, watching Travis Martin cry like a little girl, I thought: Suck it up, wuss.

Then later Steven Wiggins told me he owned patricialadd.com for some reason and I decided maybe I can make Travis Martin’s dreams come true after all. Hence the very words you are reading right now! Meta!

I’ve also solved the conundrum of what to write about:

1. Whatever I want.
2. The day after graduation Steven Wiggins and I are starting on a road trip that basically will take us in a giant circle around the US. Seriously, I want to see as many cheesy “World’s Largest [Insert Vegetable/Household Object]” as possible. We’ll probably get horribly lost and end up hating each other, but that will be some entertaining drama, right?
3. Whatever I want.

Kisses!
Patricia
No Longer Going to Cabinet So You Don’t Have To. Suck It Up, Wiess.

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