Have you missed me? Don’t get excited, the blatant blog sabotage perpetrated by any combination of these suspects has yet to be foiled! Alas, I am writing to you from the public library. Seriously, you know my love of public libraries, but if you want to see desperate and sad, Friday afternoon at the library study tables is it. Everyone looks hella depressed, like they’re not sure what life decisions brought them to this point. Maybe I do too, who can say? I’m sure we each have a story to tell. Though no one is going to beat mine for excitement, since I have a villain with an evil laugh and a case of stolen identity (or split personality?). Yeah, I’m really taking advantage of my ability to link while not having to type out the html on my phone, whatever.
Steven has supposedly traced the issue and has moved to the “procrastinating talking on the phone” stage of the process (the longest in any process since Steven fears all human contact). And maybe he’s been a bit distracted lately because, oh yeah, WE WENT TO THE HOBBIT AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT!!!!
Steven almost had to sit next to someone wearing fake elf ears, THAT’s how much we wanted to see this!!
I admit, I was skeptical. As you may or may not know, I was obsessed with the Lord of the Rings movies when they came out in high school. I saw Fellowship of the Ring 11 times in theaters!! That’s MORE THAN A DAY OF MY LIFE, y’all. I can’t really explain that, and I was nervous that The Hobbit could never live up to my insanely high 15-year-old expectations. Because even if it was good, nothing is as good as when you’re an obsessive 15-year-old fangirl, right?
WRONG!!! SO GOOD!!! I even think I liked it better than the original three? As this io9 review points out, the themes and characters of The Hobbit are much more human and relateable than the sprawling, world war majesty of the The Lord of the Rings. Martin Freeman plays Bilbo with just the right mixture of hesitation, courage, selfishness, and heroism that makes him seem entirely human (even though he is a hobbit, of course!) but also admirable. I know it makes me a bad librarian, but I’ve always liked Peter Jackson’s movies more than the books they’re based on. I just feel like he does a better job of telling a cohesive, understandable story with characters I can understand. Whenever I have this discussion with Steven, he’s always like “Well, but if you read The Silmarillion…”, to which I always respond, “Shut up! I should not have to slog through hundreds of pages of dense symbolic afterthought to understand the original story.” Which maybe makes me lazy, but whatever. I think the movies are better storytelling. Especially this movie.
I think a lot of the comparison that comes up in The Hobbit‘s favor stems from my dislike of Frodo. He’s just so whiny and kind of tiresome. I get that the Ring is hard to carry Frodo, but there are only so many long, drawn-out shots of you looking consumptive and yearning that I can take before I lose patience and scream “BRING BACK DIRTY UNSHAVEN ARAGORN ALREADY!” Thankfully, I didn’t have any of these moments of annoyance in The Hobbit, probably because Bilbo is awesome, and Movie!Bilbo whines less than Book!Bilbo, to the best of my recollection.
I know people are complaining that it’s just “three hours of Gimli and Gandalf”, but, guys, that is like my DREAM. Twelve gimlis+Hot Thorin+snarky Gandalf the Grey+not a Legolas in sight??? That is the equation for my perfect movie, and we haven’t even talked about Radagast the Brown!! It was hard for me to imagine Sylvestor McCoy doing the whole dirty forest wizard thing, because my only exposure to him in the past is as Doctor Who in the late 80s, but he was the perfect blend of whimsical, ridiculous, and then, just occasionally, DEADLY SERIOUS.
Steven was pleased about how they incorporated a lot of the songs, but not in a cheesy, annoying way like in the animated Hobbit movie (okay, maybe “cheesy” and “annoying” are my words, not his), and I enjoyed laughing at how amazingly posed Galadriel always looks, like maybe her ring of power gives her the ability to arrange the folds of her impractically long dresses just so whenever anyone looks at her. Also, all the dwarves got personalities!! And ridiculous facial hair that I wish real life had more of because please braid your beards, hipsters, I will love you so much more.
I also don’t really see this as a shameless money grub like most people. I mean, obviously money is definitely a factor. They wouldn’t be making them if they didn’t think you would see it. But it’s not like the last Twilight movie where they turn no plot into two movies just because. As Peter Jackson proved with the trilogy, each book could have easily made a six hour movie, and I like that we get more back story and information from the appendices than could have been included in one movie, or even was just in the one book. I like how Peter Jackson always seems to be looking at the Middle Earth mythology as a whole and working to tie that together, whether it’s providing a better explanation for things (like where Gandalf is always disappearing to, or who the Necromancer is) or cutting out some of the distracting shit that makes no sense (Tom Fucking Bombadil. I hate you and am glad you’re gone. Yeah, I said it. That’s what happens when you’re a blatant Mary Sue that speaks in annoying rhyme). Movies are necessarily a new format anyway, and I’m often a little disappointed when a movie just mindlessly mirrors the books without providing any insight or utilizing the visual storytelling format more. The book already has illustrations, the movie should at least try to be its own work.
Admittedly, I did not see it in 3D, because I hate 3D and refuse to pay more money for something that makes me feel ill. So your mileage may vary on this entirely shameless outpouring of joy. Also you might not like it as much if you don’t have any magic in your soul. I mean, I can’t help you there.
I tried to find a picture for you of High School Me dressed as Gandalf or something (you know how I love wizards), but there’s nothing on my laptop and, like I said, I’m at the library. I’ll look when I get home and try to upload it from my phone or something ridiculous. BLOG SABOTAGE WILL NOT STOP ME!!!
