Posts Tagged ‘list’

Terrifying Don Bluth Films: Ranked

Don Bluth left Disney to pursue his own dream: to scar children for life. But which Don Bluth film is the most terrifying? To decide, I chose to rank them entirely based on my unreliable memory from whenever they last terrified me as a child.

9. The Pebble and the Penguin (1995)

The bad guy in this movie was a weightlifting bro-penguin rapist named Drake.

Voiced by Tim Curry

Voiced by Tim Curry

But honestly the scariest part is how they try to distinguish between the penguin sexes by giving the girl penguins ludicrous human curves:

Why would penguins need boobs???

Why would penguins need boobs???

8. A Troll in Central Park (1994)

I mean, yes, this movie was scary-bad, so it automatically ranks higher, but the scariest part is honestly that these two infants are left to wander around New York City alone:

Do you HAVE parents??

Do you HAVE parents??

Honestly I’m thinking the trolls they meet in central park are a childish imagining to block out their real abductors and the trauma that ensues.

7. Thumbelina (1994)

I don’t remember a ton about Thumbelina (besides this annoying-ass song) but there were at least two terrifying parts. When Prince Cornelius is frozen in ice:

How does this even HAPPEN?

How does this even HAPPEN?

I remember it really bothered me that his finger was still sticking out. That shit is going to turn black and snap off, Cornelius. Of course, even scarier is when Thumbelina is roped into marrying Mr. Mole, who hates sunlight and probably smells like mildew:

And you do NOT want to see what's under that cumberbund

And you do NOT want to see what’s under that cumberbund

6. An American Tail (1986)

Besides the countless times someone almost gets stepped on or worse, you have this:

Which I think speaks for itself

Which I think speaks for itself

5. Anastasia (1997)

Granted, I was a little older when this one came out, which I think is the only reason this guy doesn’t rank higher on the list:

He's like a creepy demon zombie sorcerer

He’s like a creepy demon zombie sorcerer

4. Rock-a-Doodle (1992)

I don’t have as clear a memory of this one, besides that it included live-action footage of bad flooding, which hit pretty close to home.

Also this thing

Also this thing

3. The Land Before Time (1988)

Yeah, sure, kids love dinosaurs. They also love tons of violence and the worst on-screen parent death until Mufasa.

I'LL HAUNT YOUR NIGHTMARES UNTIL JURASSIC PARK MAKES ME ALL THE MORE REAL

I’LL HAUNT YOUR NIGHTMARES UNTIL JURASSIC PARK MAKES ME ALL THE MORE REAL

Kids love them some emotional trauma

Kids love them some emotional trauma

2. All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)

What the fuck is this movie

There is literally a dog hell

There is literally a dog hell

And even if the protagonists don’t end up there

THEY STILL END UP DEAD WTF WTF WTF

THEY STILL END UP DEAD WTF WTF WTF

1. The Secret of NIMH (1982)

It is impossible to find a screencap of this movie that ISN’T fucking terrifying.

Creepy

Creepy

Is that a good guy? What the hell?

Is that a good guy? What the hell?

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT

STOP

STOP

IT JUST GETS WORSE

IT JUST GETS WORSE

In conclusion, this movie still haunts my nightmares.

Previously: Disney Villains Ranked by Scariness

Reasons Steven is Amazing!!!

I realized recently that I’ve told you all about why my mom and Bova are amazing, but I’ve never written anything similar about Steven. Which is weird, because he is definitely amazing!! Usually I would debut such a list around his birthday, but that tends to get swallowed up in mine, which is the day after and vastly more important (let’s be real). So in the middle of June it will have to be!!

1. Steven is an amazing cook!

Homemade pasta day!

Homemade pasta day!

Steven is a great cook, especially if you want something more complicated and fancy than other people would attempt at home. Sure, you might be eating dinner 3 hours later than expected, but it will be delicious and quality-controlled on the minutest scale.

Everything that can be done by hand is

Everything that can be done by hand is

This attention to detail is also the reason why:

2. Steven is amazing at painting nails!

Well, he is

Well, he is

I am terrible at painting nails. At least I will be until painting your entire finger blue by accident comes into fashion. Steven takes painstakingly tiny strokes, and seems to have infinite patience. It means the process may have multiple lengthy steps, but the results look great!

This is like five different coats, what!

This is like five different coats, what!

3. Actually, Steven is just amazing at defying gender roles in general

Picture unrelated

Picture unrelated

Natch I would never be with someone who was all “I only want to bro out and watch sports and you better change your name to mine so everyone knows I own you now etc”. But that’s an insultingly low bar so we’re not going to talk about that. Steven is amazing because he is actively interested in things and enthusiastic about things he enjoys no matter what anyone else thinks. “Do you want to learn to knit? “Sounds fun!” “Painting my nails is so hard.” “I can paint your nails–I have some cool ideas to try.” “Crap, I don’t know how to iron this bridesmaid dress without ruining it.” “I got it.”

Also there's that whole My Little Pony/rainbow hair thing

Also there’s that whole My Little Pony/rainbow hair thing

4. Steven is not so great at crosswords, but he still tries which is amazing!!!

On Sundays (and Wednesdays, randomly) the News and Observer has TWO crosswords, so Steven and I always go to Panera, eat bagels, and do one each. Then we switch.

Mountain dew is the breakfast of champions

Mountain dew is the breakfast of champions

Even working together, we rarely finish either of them, but it’s being a regular at Panera that counts.

5. Steven is amazing at being stupid

And it's amazing

And it’s amazing

27 Small Presents for my 27th Birthday!

Hey Team! My birthday is next week!!!! I’m pretty excited to be 27! That’s a perfect cube! Anyway, I’m not sure what I’m getting for my birthday yet (!!! surprises!!!!), but I really like Bilbo’s idea of giving presents to other people on your birthday, so I thought I would get you something!

Unfortunately, I’m pretty cheap, and you’re the Internet, so it’ll have to be free things. So, here are 27 free things I like that you might like too! I organized them into categories for you:

1-5 are great web tools for different things!

1. GoodReads

Sorry the first one isn't much of a gift, since you already know all about it

Sorry the first one isn’t much of a gift, since you already know all about it

I know I talk about GoodReads all the time and you probably know all about it because you have it anyway. If not, you should!

2. Postable

Super simple and convenient interface!

Super simple and convenient interface!

Postable is a free online address book! I like it because it’s cute and easy, and they provide a link you can send to people to fill in their own info that automatically gets added to your contacts.

3. Feedly

It does its job well

It does its job well

Feedly is what I migrated to after the sad death of GoogleReader. It’s the only way to keep up with all the RSS feeds I follow!

4. Postcrossing

I just learned about Post Crossing pretty recently, but I am all in

I just learned about Post Crossing pretty recently, but I am all in

Basically you sign up to send someone in the world a postcard (you’re assigned an address), and someone in the world sends you a postcard!! Exciting!!

5. Geosense

Strangely addictive

Strangely addictive

It’s a simple game: two players, each looking at a map, have a few seconds to click where they think a given city is. Points are given based on closest distance. There are different maps to choose from (world or USA) and I can waste hours getting pwned by someone from Finland.

Gifts 6-9 are cool places to learn something!

6. Io9

This stuff is important

This stuff is important

Sometimes science news, sometimes interesting TV/movie facts. WHATEVER

7. The Mary Sue

I am all about this concept, incidentally

I am all about this concept, incidentally

The Mary Sue has movie and TV news as well as random fan-made creations.

8. The Big Picture

The "Daily Life" posts are often my favorite

The “Daily Life” posts are often my favorite

The Big Picture is part of the Boston Globe’s website that publishes photo series, either on specific news events, specific themes (spring around the world), or just “Daily Life” for a particular week.

9. I Love Charts

Education or entertaining, always fascinating

Education or entertaining, always fascinating

A repository of charts from around the Internet, from super serious graphs about income inequality to silly Venn diagrams about pizza.

Numbers 10-14 are funny!

10. NYTimes Haiku

Some are funnier than others

Some are funnier than others

This blog just collects sentences from the New York Times that are unwitting haikus. It’s best to read them in a dramatic voice.
Read the rest of this entry »

2013 Books: The Bad

Christmas!!!! I’m speaking to you from two weeks ago woooooo spoooooky

As always, I determined this list by looking at what books I’d rated 1 star on Goodreads. There are fewer of them than there have been in years past, especially considering I read about twice as many books this year. I guess I’m doing a better job of picking them! Well, except for these:

Beowulf on the Beach by Jack Murnighan

Beowulf on the Beach by Jack Murnighan

I hated this book. I hated this book so much I actually bothered to write why in a Goodreads review, something I almost never do, so that I could remember why I hated it for all time.

I don’t know why goodreads recommended this to me–I feel dirty. “If you sit down to pee you’ll like Pride and Prejudice”?? I couldn’t get past the juvenile writing style, casual gender stereotypes, and obsession with sex. The author’s choice for the “50 Greatest” books of all time often seems random, and, of course, dominated by white dudes. Plus, the author seems to have only a very basic understanding of the books he’s chosen to include, to the point where I’m not even sure if he finished reading some of them, let alone really getting what they’re about or placing them within a historical context.

It was like a perfect storm of things that piss me off: 1) Gender stereotypes, 2) Narrow-minded Only Dead White Dudes view of literature, 3) Enforcing the stereotype that “the classics” are boring, 4) Pompously explaining something you obviously know fuck-all about–especially if it’s a subject I know a lot about. Even thinking about this book again to write this made me angry. At least it inspired this blog post.

Five People Who Died During Sex by Karl Shaw

Five People Who Died During Sex by Karl Shaw

I thought this book would be like the literary equivalent of a Cracked article, but was disappointed to find that it doesn’t live up to Cracked’s research standards (which… is not really a phrase I’m typing seriously, but at the same time is 100% true here). I’m not a history expert, but even I caught multiple errors and historical urban legends being passed off as fact.

Tender the Storm by Elizabeth Thornton

Tender the Storm by Elizabeth Thornton

I mean, I had to rate this 1 star, but it was actually kind of hilarious. Dude helps hot young aristocrat out of revolutionary France, but can’t see past her disguise as a 12-year-old, even when she reveals her true age is “Totally Doable.” Then he gets to England and decides he has no choice but to marry her… for her own protection. Pages and pages of angst about I WANT HER BUT SHE’S TOO DELICATE AND INNOCENT ensue.

On the Prowl by Christine Warren

On the Prowl by Christine Warren

Oh my god, how can you write a romance novel about were-tigers and then only have them change into tigers one time???? Also a group of were-tigers is called a streak lol

The Diary by Eileen Goudge

The Diary by Eileen Goudge

Two sisters find their dead mom’s diary which tells the story of her first love. But it’s not their dad??? J/k it is, dramatic reveal at the end, he used to go by a nickname. Thanks for that Shyamalan twist, Eileen Goudge.

Mr. Darcy, Vampyre by Amanda Grange

Mr. Darcy, Vampyre by Amanda Grange

Amanda, listen up. If you write a book called “Mr. Darcy, Vampyre”, I had BETTER get to read about him tearing someone’s throat out in the first 100 pages. Instead, Elizabeth spends the entire book not knowing he’s a vampire, and it turns out he’s some kind of boring good vampire anyway, and then some handy villagers tell them how to cure vampirism because everything has to be boring forever, I guess

Midwinterblood by Marcus Sedgwick

Midwinterblood by Marcus Sedgwick

I’m almost positive this book was pitched as “Like… Lost but with reincarnation and everything’s really mysterious and WOOOOOOOOO *mysterious hand gestures instead of plot*” There, I saved you the trouble of reading it.

VIII by H.M. Castor

VIII by H.M. Castor

Hey, you bill something as “sexy, young Henry VIII” and I will read it. You turn it into a bland summary of Henry VIII’s whole life as you might find in any biographical dictionary, and I will rate it 1 star on goodreads and then go back to watching The Tudors.

American Nerd by Benjamin Nugent

American Nerd by Benjamin Nugent

This isn’t a history of nerd culture, it’s kind of a weird rant about one guy’s childhood and how he’s still bitter.

Final Descent by Rick Yancey

Final Descent by Rick Yancey

chosenone

Basically, this book betrayed me. I gave my copy away to the library because I couldn’t take how much of an inexplicable departure it was from everything that made this series great. Let us never speak of this again.

2013 The Good
2013 The Ugly
Bonus: 2013 The Pretty

2013 Books: The Good

It’s that time of year again!! Time to give you The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of everything I’ve read in 2013! You’d think this list would be dramatically longer since I accomplished my goal of reading 200 books, but most things fell somewhere in the middle.

As always, I determined The Good by looking at everything I rated 5 stars when I added it to Goodreads. Here are the winners:

Ghostopolis by Doug TenNapel

Ghostopolis by Doug TenNapel

I think this one was my favorite, but it was a tough call. It’s a graphic novel about a boy who accidentally gets sent into death and the Ghostbusting team who follow to rescue him. It was a really fun version of the afterlife with beautiful illustrations. A quick read, but a good one.

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

I feel like this book was written specifically for me. It’s about a fanfiction writer and her sometimes-awkward start to college. The excerpts from her so-not-harry-potter-fanfic are amazing.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh

AHHHHHHHH I was so excited for this book to come out!!! Allie Brosh’s comics/essays are amazing, and the book had a perfect mix of hilarity and truth.

The rest: Read the rest of this entry »

Happy 4th Birthday!!!!!

Today this blog is 4 years old! Which is basically middle aged in Internet years! I’m really surprised and pleased that something that started as an innocent suggestion from a tearful list serv rep could last this long! To celebrate, I made these amazing cupcakes!!

As adorable as they are delicious!! Happy birthday, blog!!

As adorable as they are delicious!! Happy birthday, blog!!

Also, here is the blog version of a clipshow:

The Best of the Plaid Pladd

Roadtrip: The Epic Journey, May-June 2009

Weirdly Steven and I never got a photo together that whole month, so here are Trixie and I intimidating a buffalo

Weirdly Steven and I never got a photo together that whole month, so here are Trixie and I intimidating a buffalo

The roadtrip posts are still some of my favorites ever, possibly because they are the most legitimately exciting thing that has happened since this blog began. I particularly like when we were still dedicated enough to take videos in the early days of the trip, even if they were about pecans. Not only did we get some great pictures and have some great adventures, but I confirmed that I could spend 8000 miles and 21 days with Steven Wiggins without either of us abandoning the other in Montana.

He's a good guy

He’s a good guy

That Time A Goddess Girls Author Commented On My Blog, June 2012

I’m actually a big fan of all of Steven and my joint book reviews about this tween girl greek mythology series, and I think Steven likes reading them too, despite all of his grumbling to the contrary.

Someone could learn a lesson from Medusa

Someone could learn a lesson from Medusa

My evidence for this is that yesterday we were driving somewhere and he asked, “So when does the next Goddess Girls book come out?” You asked for it, Steven, I am #3 on the hold list.

I start owning being man-footed, December 2011

I don’t write serious posts very often, and, before this one, I’d never really thought about how much anxiety I had tied up in my big shoe size. It still stands out to me as one of my favorite posts I’ve ever written, maybe because of the way it made me feel more than the words themselves.

Also, this picture is really great

Also, this picture is really great

Every Chocovine Challenge

We’ve had 4 Chocovine challenges so far (Original, Raspberry, Espresso, and Whipped Cream). Each one has brought laughter, tears, and occasional indigestion.

You know the one I mean

You know the one I mean

A while ago one of my uncles told me “I bought some of that drink you like so much, that chocolate wine stuff, and I tried it. It was terrible” and I was like “You can’t believe everything you read on the Internet.”

I hope we have four more years of awesome adventures together!!

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