Posts Tagged ‘library’

Women need pink for reading comprehension

So here’s a book I found at the library:

Essential Car Care for Women!

Essential Car Care for Women!

Dudes, you don’t need this. You were born knowing how a four stroke combustion engine works. But ladies, in the name of equality, you’ve got a lot of catching up to do. Literally that’s how the back justifies itself:

Despite the many advances women have made since the internal combustion engine was invented, there is still one widely held belief that won’t seem to go away: “When it comes to cars, women should just leave it to the men.” In Essential Care Care for Women, ESPN NASCAR pit reporter Jamie Little and Discovery Channel “Turbo Expert” Danielle McCormick team up to dispel this myth once and for all

Because a special pink book for women really dispels the myth that they know fuck-all about cars and can never learn. Or maybe we just can’t learn without someone condescending to us! It’s true that I have trouble understanding text that’s not pink.

Finally someone understands my lady-needs

Finally someone understands my lady-needs

And yet, to my knowledge, this hasn’t made it on to any challenged book lists. I feel like debating this would be a better use of our time than freaking out about classical breasts on the cover of The Awakening.

Library Book Drop: A Magical Portal

Yesterday I was emptying the library’s outdoor book drop when I found a mysterious folded paper:

What could be inside?

What could be inside?

I started to unfold it:

A promising beginning

A promising beginning

And a little more:

Oh my god yes

Oh my god yes

Husky and Timber Wolf of Mine, come to me as a tiny pup. I summon my newborn companion creature SO MOTE IT BE.

I am ALL ABOUT this.

Some more deets on this "companion creature"

Some more deets on this “companion creature”

NAME: Atlas
Height: About 2 1/2 feet
What he eats: Sunlight; his fur absorbs the sun’s energy, turning it into food
Temperament: Playful
Personality: He is very friendly, yet brave; he is also very curious
Eye color: Light blue
Breed of wolf: Timber wolf and husky hybrid
Powers: his saliva can heal things very fast; he can fly w his wings; He can become a spirit so that no one can see him but me.

Timber husky hybrid that eats sunlight??? YES But the best part:

Someone worked way hard on this!

Someone worked way hard on this!

But why did I find this in the library book drop? Was it thrown in there by accident? Or did this hopeful wolf-hybrid-owner think that the best way to seal a ~mystical spell~ was to toss it in the library book drop? For all I know, it is, and she is even now cavorting with a flying wolf. You heard it here first: library book drops are magical portals to awesome.

Related: That time a witch wrote me a letter

Dear Unknown Muggle: The Wizarding World Finally Reaches Out to Me

OMG YOU GUYS BEST LIBRARY FIND EVER! I was shelving books in the teen area when I picked up a folded piece of paper sitting on the edge of one of the shelves. Naturally, I opened it before recycling to see if it was filled with juicy gossip, but it was SO MUCH BETTER! Here is a scan:

Yes, that IS a rip in the paper labeled "Bloody Owl!"

I mean, I can’t say I’m surprised. Obviously if you’re going to take your magical family on a muggle vacation, you would end up at the Holly Springs Library. You can TELL this was written by an authentic English witch because she uses the word “bloody” TWICE and also “horrid”. My only point of confusion is that it is written in pencil on notebook paper instead of on parchment with a quill, but I assume it is all part of her undercover muggle disguise.

After years of picking up pieces of paper with chewed gum stuck to them in the stacks, I feel like this was the universe’s way of giving me a reward.

A Slice of My Life

Naturally the entire reason I started a blog was because I assumed everyone was dying of curiosity about what it’s like to be me. Well, that, and because I hate seeing a list serv rep cry. Anyway, here are impressions of the last four hours of my life:

–While reviewing children’s non-fiction books that are older than 10 years, find Dave’s Quick ‘n’ Easy Web Pages, copyright 1999, which leads me to place numerous bets with myself about whether the numerous links it directs me to still exist. A sample:
Anything on Netscape: No
Angelfire: Yes?
Alta Vista: Yes
Geocities: No. Sad face.

–Completely baffled a dad when I instantly found the book he wanted just as he was about to despair. I described this event in loving detail on the blog I’m keeping for my advisor to grade, but all you really need to know is that someone else recognized that I have MAGICAL LIBRARY POWERS. And that my advisor clearly did not know he would be getting an epic saga when he assigned me to blog my field experience log.

–With my whole iPod to choose from, Trixie decides to only play The A*Teens on the way home. I go with it, since, for some reason, I still know all the words to all of their songs. I’m momentarily ashamed, then decide it is further proof that I am awesome.

–Steven has made Thai curry for dinner! It is even tastier because he also did all the dishes.

–Now I am updating my blog downstairs while listening to the quiet yet vehement cursing of Steven working on websites up in his office. Maybe he needs Dave’s Quick ‘n’ Easy Web Pages? It’s so quick, they don’t even have time for two-thirds of the letters in “and”! And the cover blurb is from the co-founder of Netscape! Maybe for his birthday.

Strange Library Sightings: “Naked Rampage”

One of my coworkers who goes to NC State showed me this news report today at work about, as she put it “some guy running through the library (voice drops to a whisper) IN THE BUFF”. The headline “Naked Rampage” confused me at first until I saw the video and how he was wildly throwing books off the shelves. So maybe it should be retitled “Naked Book Rampage”, which sounds like a fun time.

But maybe that’s just because I, too, am really stressed about finals. I feel your pain, Seth Pace.

Yessssss (I’m an unmotivated snake)

And watching this is a great way to procrastinate. And feel happy inside.

(I saw this first on Bookshelves of Doom)

I’ll use the same weapon against you, cause I can type too

I’m not saying that this attack on Librarian Honor is aimed at me. Nor am I claiming that a random jumble of embedded youtube videos can prove anything. The only thing I can say for sure is something the girl I tutor told me a few weeks ago: “My mom says that when boys make fun of you, it means they like you.” Clearly someone is just having a hard time working up the courage to ask Library Science to the 8th Grade Dance.

Also, libraries are the best thing ever:

Despite the fact that only one person in this video is wearing remotely-Lady Gaga-approved fashion:

QED

A Weekend of Book Love

My strategy for picking out books to read is pretty haphazard. Usually on Thursday after 6pm, the last time I’m working at the library before the weekend, I wander around and randomly grab things based on cover art and if I can vaguely remember someone mentioning them to me at some point. I know this isn’t a very librarian way of selecting my weekend reading, and I swear that I do have actual book lists, but they seem to exist in a kind of space time vortex which makes them immediately accessible at all times EXCEPT when I am actually looking for books.

Anyway, because of these entirely uninformed habits, it always kind of amazes me when I pick out a book I genuinely really like. And this weekend I read TWO. It was craziness.

Up first:

Fly By Night by Frances Hardinge

Fly By Night by Frances Hardinge

The first chapter of this book features misfit 12-year-old Mosca rescuing a conman from the stocks in exchange for employment, stealing a homicidal goose, and burning down her uncle’s mill. The conman, after various failed attempts at trying to lose her, eventually leads her into a world of disputed kingship, guild war and espionage, heavy censorship, and religious confusion. It’s not just Hardinge’s intensely detailed world-building, but Mosca and the reader are never really sure who’s on what side until the very end, which makes for exciting dramatic reveals. My favorite part was a Robin Hood-like escape turned sea battle between floating coffee houses. Also that the Guild of Stationers threatened to fight a battle by stabbing rival guildsmen with pens and crushing them underneath printing presses. Also: homicidal goose consistently saves the day. Come on.

You should read this book if:
1) Brave New World and 1984 are too old and serious but you want the same kind of message
2) You like characters who are mostly disreputable but sometimes decide to do the right thing, you know, just to keep people guessing
3) HOMICIDAL GOOSE

Then, as if that weren’t enough book love for one weekend, I also got:

China Mieville's Un Lun Dun

China Mieville's Un Lun Dun

The only thing I don’t like about this book is that the girl on the cover looks kind of freaky, especially at night, so I always had to keep it cover-down when not reading.

Un Lun Dun is basically Alice in Wonderland on speed. After a series of weird and unexplainable events, Zanna and her friend Deebra follow a sentient umbrella to a strange parallel-London, an “abcity”, called UnLondon, where things from the real London go after they’ve become “moderately obsolete” or have just fallen through the cracks. Zanna is greeted by the strange inhabitants as some kind of mythical hero who will deliver them from their greatest enemy, a sentient form of smog banished from London after the Clean Air Act, but it eventually falls to Deebra to go on a bizarre quest with the help of a boy who’s half-ghost, a tailor with a pincushion for a head who makes clothes out of book pages, a bus conductor and his flying bus, and a sentient milk carton. Also, KILLER GIRAFFES. Here’s an excerpt:

“They’ve done a good job making people believe that those hippy refugees in the zoo are normal giraffes. Next you’ll tell me that they’ve got long necks so they can reach high leaves! Nothing to do with waving the bloody skins of their victims like flags, of course. There’s a lot of animals very good at that sort of disinformation. There are no cats in UnLondon, for example, because they’re not magic and mysterious at all, they’re idiots.”–Busconductor Jones pg. 53

And, as if that weren’t enough, China Mieville also does his own illustrations:

A Binja!

A Binja!

This and other illustrations (including the homicidal giraffes) can be found here.

This was definitely the best book I’ve read in a long time, and not just because they mention Extreme Librarians or Bookaneers. You should read this book if:
1) You are alive.

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