Posts Tagged ‘books’

It’s the little things

November is the worst month. Ever. It’s cold. It’s close enough to the end of the semester that I suddenly become all about writing research papers. Everyone has Christmas stuff out already, so that I get annoyed by December 1st. I dislike turkey. NaNoWriMo is making me crazy. Whenever anyone asks me how I am, I can’t even muster the strength to blandly lie and just go “Bleeeeeeh”.

So, here are some little things:

1) Ever since I got my netbook (after my laptop decided to fulfill its lifelong dream of being a refrigerator by keeping its fan on at all times) I have been using Steven’s computer when he’s not home to be able to a) see everything on a freakishly huge screen and b) use Microsoft Office products. This has the added benefit of getting to fill his Pandora gadget with Lady Gaga to break up all that LOTR1-themed Euro pop/metal. You’re welcome, Steven.

2) Compiling course evaluations in my head. Some classes, thinking about writing that 15 minute evaluation, no matter how inconsequential it will actually be to the Powers of UNC, is all that gets me through.

3) The True Meaning of Smekday by Adam Rex. I am a little more than halfway through this book, and it is AWESOME. Basically, aliens called The Boov conquer Earth. They oppress us, but it’s hilarious! Observe:

Gratuity Tucci, sassy eleven-year-old, is having none of that. Then she makes friends with an outcast Boov who has decided his “human name” is J.Lo. If that doesn’t convince you, I don’t know what will. Best alien invasion ever. I can’t wait to see how it ends.

4) Coloring. And being happy that wordpress is not as temperamental as Tumblr.

5) Doing impressions of animals that are pretty much overlooked in the impressions world. Like the walrus. Or the sandpiper. Complete with exciting sound effects. The best part is leaping into Steven’s office and shouting “GUESS WHAT ANIMAL I AM!!!” I was surprised he got the walrus.


  • 1You’ll note that I’m nerdy enough to use the abbreviation LOTR but not nerdy enough to listen to German metal bands sing at least an entire freaking album about it. It can be a fine line.
  • I hope Gravity’s Rainbow is next

    Wake County’s Book-A-Day Staff Picks Blog recommended Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying to its general reading public two days ago! Included in the recommendation: “I often hear people say that Faulkner is too difficult to read. He can be difficult. As I Lay Dying is not.”

    I don’t know if it’s just me that finds that statement hilarious, or just people in my senior year English class or what.

    Not only did this book take years off my life, I also had to always keep it face down because CREEPY DECOMPOSING DEAD LADY

    The reviewer also states that “I think the key to reading and enjoying Faulkner is to not think about it too much. We read him in English class, and spend hours examining what he was trying to say. Instead, perhaps, we should just read him.”

    While this may be true of lots of books, As I Lay Dying has, among other things, a chapter that is, in its entirety:

    My mother is a fish.

    END OF CHAPTER

    I feel like there is no way I could read something like this and NOT think about what he means. Because most of the time it’s obscured through layers of stream of consciousness rambling. Granted, about half of my thinking about it was just my repeating “What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?” over and over and over.

    Sorry, maybe people do read As I Lay Dying for fun. But I still find it hilarious.

    Girl With the Dragon Tattoo: Pop Lit Fail

    About a year ago I read a book called Why We Read What We Read: A Delightfully Opinionated Journey Through Bestselling Books. I found the analysis interesting, but even more interesting was the fact that I had read almost none of them. Sure, as an English major you’re not allowed to read anything popular within the last one hundred years, but considering my career path and the amount I read, you’d think I would be more familiar with these titles. Sure, I’ve read Harry Potter and Twilight, but I’ve never read a single James Patterson novel. This may be why I’m kind of grasping at straws with this:

    Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

    Clearly I’m way out of touch with the American reading public, because I cannot see the appeal. Granted, I’m only about 80 pages in. So far, it has been painstakingly slow, and mostly about Swedish finances. I don’t really like any of the characters, but I don’t really hate them either. I don’t have emotions about them, but that’s okay because they seem to rarely have emotions themselves. About anything. Someone JUST mentioned a murder, so I’m still debating keeping going. I’m not sure even a possible murder could save this from unrelenting boredom. Everyone tells me it gets good half-way through, but I’m not sure I’m willing to make the effort to get that far.

    Which really surprises me. Maybe I’m losing patience with everything else that’s going on, but it surprises me that so many people enjoyed this book when it takes so long to get interesting. From my years reading terrible, over-described literature, I’m keenly aware how to read an incredibly boring book to get through it, and consider myself somewhat good at it, but maybe everyone else is way better at it than I am, because I literally have been procrastinating reading this book by doing work for grad school and that’s an awful sign.

    Maybe I will keep trying this weekend. After I clean the apartment. And do all of my work for next week. And there are no other books in the house.

    Last School Year Ever: Why My Week Has Sucked

    Sorry about not posting yesterday; this week has been like a perfect storm of small amounts of tragedy that mix together to make a Long Island Iced Tea of despair.

    –The bus route is going through its awkward teenage years, trying to reinvent itself, but remaining confused and unsure of what its peer group wants. At least, that’s how I’m interpreting its persistent, erratic behavior. The first day it was just massively late every time I tried to ride it, which is not that surprising on the first week of school. Then one afternoon at a random stop in the middle of the route, the bus driver told everyone to get off because she was done. It wasn’t an off-shift kind of thing–those happen at the end of the line–and we were all forced to wait FORTY MINUTES for the next bus–the two that should have come in the intervening time apparently having stopped off somewhere for after-school aperitifs. Or the happy times when the bus mysteriously fails to change direction at noon as it should, and I am forced to walk in a pack of my disconsolate cohorts along the side of the road. Walking in the sweaty, sweaty heat is kind of annoying, but not the end of the world. However, it’s throwing havoc to my carefully balanced schedule.

    –My advisor is going on sabbatical the semester I’m supposed to be writing my Master’s Paper. Since I’m “aggressively competent” this will probably not adversely affect me to the extent it may some people, but it still means that I will 1) have to do a lot more work more quickly and 2) plead my case to the few remaining professors who care about things like public libraries or books way more aggressively than should be necessary. I mean, whose idea was it to only have two professors who are remotely interested in children and teens? I’m feeling the love.

    –Once again, my classes only have vague relevance to my future career path. After yet another summer spent working in an actual library doing what I actually plan to pursue, this is even more aggravating than before.

    –Our apartment is broken. We haven’t been able to use the shower for two days. Since Steven was going on one of his “if I wash my hair too much it’ll fall out” kicks even before that, it is a smelly, smelly world.

    –Everything I eat or drink lately has a weird metallic taste. It took me forever to realize that I’m not dying of arsenic poisoning and that it’s just our dishwasher not washing the soap entirely off our dishes.

    –I finished Hunger Games in like five hours yesterday and, despite loftily thinking myself immune to pop-lit trends, am now desperate to read the sequels. My choices are: wait three months on the library request list with all the other teen girls or pay money. I am in an agony of anti-BigBoxBookStore, cheapskate, frantic teen girl indecision.

    –Steven keeps beating me at our jury rigged two-person version of Settlers of Catan. My honor is furious.

    Hopefully I will at least be able to sort out the last two today.

    Middle School Patricia Memorial Weekend

    I talk a lot about Middle School Patricia. How she was convinced she would one day turn her fanfiction into The World’s Greatest Novel. How she consistently cited her allergy to Winter Mist Body spray (and other, similarly absurdly titled perfumes) as the sole reason she was not The Most Popular Girl In School. Her crush on EVERY BOY while simultaneously believing herself So Superior to all of them. However, while these are all mostly true, I think they get the most face time because they’re also the angsty, ridiculous image of what a 13-year-old girl is supposed to be. Except maybe blaming sneezing fits for lack of popularity. That one may have been all me.

    Anyway, this weekend I decided to celebrate the lesser known aspects of Middle School Patricia when I was at Harris Teeter and found myself staring at the packets of Lipton/Knorr’s Pasta Sides. That is why they are number 1 on my list of things Middle School Patricia likes.
    1. Pasta Sides

    Actually, the Sesame Thai Noodle one was the best

    Actually, the Sesame Thai Noodle one was the best


    These are basically like Rice-A-Roni, but with noodles. As such they are supremely easy to make; you just add water and put it in the microwave for 12 minutes. For some reason, they were my favorite lunch/dinner ever. Maybe because at the time the only things I could make on my own were sandwiches, Campbell’s soup, and these things. I also remember this one time my mom was telling me to lose weight and yelled, “Those noodles you like so much? They are supposed to feed A FAMILY OF FOUR!” And so I vowed never to eat them again and hurled into another spiral of self-doubt and anti-self-esteem with the words “A FAMILY OF FOUR” echoing through my head. Of course, as a 14-year-old, I already assumed that I was A) the fattest/ugliest person that had ever lived and that B) everyone who saw me was secretly talking and laughing about it, so naturally this did not help.

    This weekend I bought some for maybe the first time since then, rationalizing that sharing it with Steven would get over the whole A FAMILY OF FOUR stigma. It was only then that I realized that, yes, it was supposed to feed A FAMILY OF FOUR but as a small side, meaning that my years of eating it for supper by itself were probably not The Most Shameful Thing I Have Ever Done. I did not, in fact, have a stomach the size of A FAMILY OF FOUR. Not that they are the healthiest thing ever either, but I’m glad I can stop stressing about that.

    2. David Eddings’ Novels

    Most of the cover art seems to be constructed from an album of Generic Fantasy ClipArt 1992

    Most of the cover art seems to be constructed from an album of Generic Fantasy ClipArt 1992


    Allegedly, David Eddings started writing fantasy because he was shocked that The Lord of the Rings was still around, and many of his books were bestsellers. Looking back, I have no idea why I was obsessed with these books in middle school. Sure, they take place on a fantasy world, and some of the characters are sorcerers, but all of the books sort of sound the same. An ordinary farm boy discovers his aunt is really a sorceress and they go on a quest to save a magical stone. Spoiler alert: he is really the descendant of a long-lost king whose destiny it is to fight an evil god. There’s 10 books about Garion in all, and my overwhelming memory of all of them is riding horses through the rain. Eddings’ women also all seem to be variations on the same theme of Women Are Mysterious and Kind of Bitchy. Maybe they’re meant to be empowered? He’s pretty good at world-building, including giving all the different races complex histories, although sometimes it gets slightly annoying how everyone from Sendaria is practical or how Tolnedrans only care about money. Sometimes the writing is also pretty repetitive, but, since Steven and I are reading them aloud to each other, we’ve devised several quick fixes to break that up:
    Read the rest of this entry »

    A Weekend of Book Love

    My strategy for picking out books to read is pretty haphazard. Usually on Thursday after 6pm, the last time I’m working at the library before the weekend, I wander around and randomly grab things based on cover art and if I can vaguely remember someone mentioning them to me at some point. I know this isn’t a very librarian way of selecting my weekend reading, and I swear that I do have actual book lists, but they seem to exist in a kind of space time vortex which makes them immediately accessible at all times EXCEPT when I am actually looking for books.

    Anyway, because of these entirely uninformed habits, it always kind of amazes me when I pick out a book I genuinely really like. And this weekend I read TWO. It was craziness.

    Up first:

    Fly By Night by Frances Hardinge

    Fly By Night by Frances Hardinge

    The first chapter of this book features misfit 12-year-old Mosca rescuing a conman from the stocks in exchange for employment, stealing a homicidal goose, and burning down her uncle’s mill. The conman, after various failed attempts at trying to lose her, eventually leads her into a world of disputed kingship, guild war and espionage, heavy censorship, and religious confusion. It’s not just Hardinge’s intensely detailed world-building, but Mosca and the reader are never really sure who’s on what side until the very end, which makes for exciting dramatic reveals. My favorite part was a Robin Hood-like escape turned sea battle between floating coffee houses. Also that the Guild of Stationers threatened to fight a battle by stabbing rival guildsmen with pens and crushing them underneath printing presses. Also: homicidal goose consistently saves the day. Come on.

    You should read this book if:
    1) Brave New World and 1984 are too old and serious but you want the same kind of message
    2) You like characters who are mostly disreputable but sometimes decide to do the right thing, you know, just to keep people guessing
    3) HOMICIDAL GOOSE

    Then, as if that weren’t enough book love for one weekend, I also got:

    China Mieville's Un Lun Dun

    China Mieville's Un Lun Dun

    The only thing I don’t like about this book is that the girl on the cover looks kind of freaky, especially at night, so I always had to keep it cover-down when not reading.

    Un Lun Dun is basically Alice in Wonderland on speed. After a series of weird and unexplainable events, Zanna and her friend Deebra follow a sentient umbrella to a strange parallel-London, an “abcity”, called UnLondon, where things from the real London go after they’ve become “moderately obsolete” or have just fallen through the cracks. Zanna is greeted by the strange inhabitants as some kind of mythical hero who will deliver them from their greatest enemy, a sentient form of smog banished from London after the Clean Air Act, but it eventually falls to Deebra to go on a bizarre quest with the help of a boy who’s half-ghost, a tailor with a pincushion for a head who makes clothes out of book pages, a bus conductor and his flying bus, and a sentient milk carton. Also, KILLER GIRAFFES. Here’s an excerpt:

    “They’ve done a good job making people believe that those hippy refugees in the zoo are normal giraffes. Next you’ll tell me that they’ve got long necks so they can reach high leaves! Nothing to do with waving the bloody skins of their victims like flags, of course. There’s a lot of animals very good at that sort of disinformation. There are no cats in UnLondon, for example, because they’re not magic and mysterious at all, they’re idiots.”–Busconductor Jones pg. 53

    And, as if that weren’t enough, China Mieville also does his own illustrations:

    A Binja!

    A Binja!

    This and other illustrations (including the homicidal giraffes) can be found here.

    This was definitely the best book I’ve read in a long time, and not just because they mention Extreme Librarians or Bookaneers. You should read this book if:
    1) You are alive.

    Book Reviews: Bones of Faerie

    While out of town, I brought along, among other things, Janni Lee Simner’s Bones of Faerie.

    Using the currently popular Twilightesque cover art style of "something vague on black"

    Using the currently popular Twilightesque cover art style of "something vague on black"

    Naturally, I chose this for the cover art. I’m ashamed to admit it, but the Twilight art style works on me. Part of me thinks half the reason for Twilight‘s popularity is its cover art (despite the fact that it is blatant false advertising).

    So maybe my selection process (judging a book by its cover) was the one thing traditional librarian archetypes are urging us NEVER to do (that, and to use our library voices), so I shouldn’t have expected too much. I will say this, the premise of the book was pretty baller. There aren’t nearly enough stories about killer trees in this world. I think the main problem with this book is that I felt like I was reading a sequel to a much better book that I’d rather be reading instead. Here’s the sitch:
    Read the rest of this entry »

    Book Review: The Forest of Hands and Teeth

    I first heard about this book from this award-winning book trailer for it:

    I was terrified. But, since it was pretty much about zombies, I knew I would be forced to read it through my own drive to be an expert on something that scares me.
    forest-hands-teeth2

    It turned out to be more creepy than gory. It takes place in a post-apocalyptic Earth where the dead have been attacking for so long that the way things were before “the Return” has been almost forgotten. Mary lives in a village protected by what essentially are chain link fences, with the dead coming out of the surrounding forest every day to moan through them. Her village is led by “the Sisters”, a secretive religious group that seeks to keep the village population ignorant of any world outside the fences for their own good, claiming that the village is all that’s left of humanity. Then the fences are breached and Mary, her brother, his wife (who’s been bitten), Harry (Mary’s betrothed), Travis (the guy Mary is totally in love with and everyone knows it), and Cass (Mary’s BFF and Travis’ betrothed) escape into the woods beyond the fences with an adorable puppy and your typical Orphaned By Zombies Waif. Mary is intent on finding the ocean, while everyone else tells her she’s crazy and freaks out.

    The language of the book is what I think gives it its creepiness. The zombies are always referred to as “the Unconsecrated”, giving the entire thing weirdly religious overtones. The division between humans and the unconsecrated is also more blurred than in other zombie works. In the first few chapters, Mary’s mother sees Mary’s father return to the fences as one of the Unconsecrated and throws herself towards him, getting bitten through the interlacing metal. The Sisters give her a choice of being killed by their guards before the infection spreads (the logical zombie option) or being released into the forest to join the Unconsecrated and her husband. Mary’s mother chooses to join her husband and Mary, while watching her mother convulse with zombification, suddenly starts wondering if she should have dressed her more warmly, if her mother will finally know the answers to the questions she seeks, if the Unconsecrated know something she doesn’t. Because the timing of the book is so far after the Return, the Unconsecrated aren’t viewed with the same horror and Kill-Them-All attitude as in other works where they just begin to rise. To the people of Mary’s village, they’re just part of life, and no reason to interrupt the melodrama of ridiculous love triangles.

    There’s a sequel, which I think is about Mary’s daughter (yeah, she, at least, lives) called The Dead-Tossed Waves. It’s also been recently announced that they’re making a movie, maybe starring Kristen Stewart. I cannot wait for all the needless dramatic pausing and intense blinking action.

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