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Goddess Girls: Aphrodite the Diva

February 17th, 2012 by pladd

Summary of Amazingness
By Patricia
Aphrodite needs some extra credit in Hero-ology ASAP after accidentally starting that unfortunate Trojan War. So she decides to use her powers to help lonely mortals find love! Due to a mail delivery mix-up (thanks, rhyming magical winds), she and Isis, the Egyptian goddess of love, both end up trying to help the same mortal, Pygmalion. So they get into a crush-finding contest made more difficult by the fact that Pygmalion is a self-centered jerk! In the end, he confesses to being totally in love with this statue he’s made, and the two goddesses work together to bring her to life… in reward for his… jerkiness? Also, Metis the Fly Mom left Zeus for another fly, so Aphrodite helps him get together with Hera! She also finds love for Medusa (Dionysus), Pandora (Poseidon), Mr. Cyclops (Cleo, three-eyed makeup store owner), and herself (Ares!). She and Isis decide to be love goddess BFFs. The end!

You thought Egyptian goddess faces would look less insectoid? Fool!

Faithfulness to Original Mythos
By Steven
Basically the only thing any part of this had in common with an actual mythical storyline was that Aphrodite was responsible for Pygmalion’s statue, Galatea, coming to life and being his wife (and even then, the name ‘Galatea’ is only a later historical assignment to said statue). Oh, there are other minor characters and events that mirror mythological tradition, like Medusa’s crush on Poseidon (see how she got to be Medusa in the first place according to later myth…) or Pygmalion’s residence on Cyprus. But mostly, 2 thumbs down for accuracy. The Egyptian connection has no basis in myth, Cairo wasn’t founded until the 10th century A.D., Aphrodite’s Egyptian counterpart would have been Hathor, not Isis, and Hera was Zeus’s sister-wife, not some shopkeeper with a crush. Oh well.

Steven's just mad about Cairo because it was my guess for what "C" stood for and he hates losing

Tween Girl Life Lessons
By Patricia
1) If you love a fake thing hard enough and annoy those around you with it, eventually it will become REAL! I assume this is what Twihards are aiming for.
2) You can be friends with someone despite disagreeing on things like the afterlife or whether dogs are better than cats.
3) Ignore all jerkiness from the past. If a cute guy starts sending you badly-rhymed secret admirer notes, you are required to fall in love with him again.
4) There’s someone for everyone. Even if their hair is made of snakes.

Patricia’s Favorites!!!
Character: Artemis. She can declare a friendship finished because DOGS ARE SO BETTER THAN CATS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
Part: Ares’ romantic love song. It includes genius lyrics like “I was on your side in the Trojan War, when I think of you I think “amour”.”
Thing I Learned: Hera totally got a bad rap in Greek mythology, you guys! Turns out, she’s not the ur-bitch! She’s just tough but fair.

Tried to find a picture for you of Hera being a bitch that I could caption sarcastically, but the first page of google images had nothing, so here's her chillin with Prometheus

Steven’s Favorites
Character: Dionysus. Because you can be a sleaze and still get the girls as long as you’re not picky.
Part: The immortal matchmaker quizzes! Apparently knowing your favorite animal is the first step to finding your true love!
Thing I Learned: Ra gives underwater (underground?) sunboat rides if you’re there in time to catch him.

I think Steven is being sarcastic, but I have ANCIENT EGYPTIAN PROOF so there

Next Time: Athena the Brain!!
Previously: Artemis the Brave

Or read them in order: Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Book 4, Book 5, Book 6

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Goddess Girls: Artemis the Brave

February 7th, 2012 by pladd

Steven and I are speeding through this Goddess Girls series (probably because it was written for 12-year-olds)!! This week we read Book 4, Artemis the Brave! Artemis is a much shyer, less ridiculous main character than Aphrodite, so she was less entertaining.

Summary of Amazingness
By Patricia
A cute but arrogant boy named Orion has transferred to Mt. Olympus Academy!! Just like Artemis, he really likes dogs, but he barely has any time for his because he’s too busy scheming to become a star on the stage! After cheating his way into the lead in the school play, Orion pisses everyone off by being such a self-centered jerk, except Artemis who thinks he’s just misunderstood. But when he steals her magical silver arrows to win the school archery contest, she has had ENOUGH and gives up her crush, apologizing to her brother and friends for blowing them all off. Orion ends up bailing on the play, but then comes back at the last minute and Zeus lets him play the part of the “stars” by taping lights to him and hanging him from the ceiling. Get it?? GET IT???

You had no idea Greek mythology had so many puns, did you?

Faithfulness to Original Mythos
By Steven
This one got a lot more metaphorical with any reference to the original myths. So Orion enters the story as a possible love interest for Artemis, but ends up as a star. That much is shared by both the book and the myth, but at any level more detailed than that it breaks down considerably. Orion does get the rivalry of Apollo, but doesn’t have his mythic prowess with the bow. He does face the Scorpion, but isn’t killed and Artemis intervenes rather than being on the scorpion’s side. He does have Sirius, his canine companion and familiar star, but he isn’t shot in the end by Artemis, though she does leave him to his fate. Apollo’s failed romance with Daphne shows up as well, albeit without her turning into a tree. Apart from that, the rest is just cameos by familiar characters and monsters, like Geryon and Echidna.

Typical middle school relationship drama

Tween Girl Life Lessons
By Patricia
1) If your friends think your new crush is a jerk, he probably is
2) Don’t let a guy take over your life–you still have time for archery practice!
3) Bravery is about doing something despite your fear!
4) Theater geeks ruin everything

Well, they do

Patricia’s Favorites!!!
Character: Pandora!! The text describes her as having “blue and gold bangs shaped like a question mark because she’s so curious”. How do you shape your bangs like a question mark???
Part: Orion is mortal but wants to sparkle like the gods, so he buys shimmering body glitter called “Godbod” and slathers it on himself constantly.
Thing I Learned: Athena’s mom is a fly that lives inside Zeus’ head. No more explanation is given.

Seems legit

Steven’s Favorites
Character: Ms. ThreeGraces. Combining the Charites into a single Beauty-ology teacher is only too appropriate.
Part: The archery; apparently you have to train your arrows beforehand for them to work correctly?
Thing I Learned: Apparently you can go from being the dragon guardian of the Garden of the Hesperides to being a crafty Beast-ology teacher. The Greeks gods clearly knew a thing or two about lateral job mobility.

Next Time: Aphrodite the Diva!!
Previously: Aphrodite the Beauty

Or read them in order: Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Book 4, Book 5, Book 6

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Goddess Girls: Aphrodite the Beauty

January 31st, 2012 by pladd

Middle School Book Reports just got a whole lot more awesome because I have successfully connived Steven Wiggins into helping me!!! I’m sure he wouldn’t have agreed if the book series in question wasn’t all about different Greco-Roman gods and goddesses in middle school! It’s called Goddess Girls by Joan Holub and Suzanne Williams! Clearly Steven wanted to be the first classics major to really make a close study of this groundbreaking new text in the field.

You can tell he's secretly enjoying himself

Props to Caitlin for convincing me to read all of these!! Well, she mainly just posted a link to it on my facebook wall, clearly well aware that I require almost no convincing to read ridiculous tween book series based somehow on really violent and sexually explicit ancient source material! Of course I immediately checked out as many as the library had available. Therefore I’m not reading them in any order–this one is actually book 3–but they each seem to be a separate story so Steven and I were not completely bewildered. Well, Steven was, but that was mostly about the term “godboy”.

I can't be the only one weirded out by her gigantic insect eyes, right?

Summary of Amazingness
By Patricia
Aphrodite decides to give her frumpy friend Athena a makeover!! But then gets super jealous when school hottie Ares, her secret crush, starts paying more attention to her friend! Plus, Hephaestus, a sweet but ugly boy keeps sending her flowers and gifts to woo her and making everyone gossip about how they’re an item when everyone knows Aphrodite has got STANDARDS, you guys. Everyone learns a lesson about true love and being honest by helping Hippomenes trick his way into Atalanta’s arms, and Athena reveals that sleazy Ares just wanted her advice on how to get a city named after him. Then Aphrodite sets Hephaestus up with some other nerdy chick and everyone lives happily ever after.

Thetis is all like "Make me some armor for my son or I'll stuff you into a locker, NERD"

Faithfulness to Original Mythos
By Steven
Okay, so firstly let’s ignore the whole middle school metaphor thing. Or that in this continuity the instructors (Principal Zeus, Mr. Cyclops, et al.) are supposed to be >= 1 generation in age and stature above the students (Athena, Atlas, Pandora, etc.). The characters mentioned are all more or less representative of their Greek originals–with the juicy bits left out–and there were a few standouts outside the normal range of the Pantheon. Props to the author for including not just Medusa, but also her sisters Euryale and Stheno, and double props for providing Ares the posse of Kydoimos (confusion in battle) and Makhai (spirits of battle), even though none of the above are really provided any back story. Small mistake in making Makhai singular (it refers to the brethren of spirits associated with battle, including Kydoimos) but otherwise pretty accurate. The Atalanta story is pretty spot on and Hephaestus’ loss of Aphrodite to Ares and subsequent matchup with Agleia is quasi-accurate as well, if missing the whole sex-in-a-net thing. Small demerit (or prop? I can’t decide) for “Arachne’s Sewing Supplies” in the Immortal Market, where Athena goes for yarn and needles; isn’t that sort of bad taste on Athena’s part? Four out of five stars for accuracy, the fifth being that I can’t get over this middle school metaphor! And the term “godboy”, of course.

Tween Girl Life Lessons
By Patricia
1) Every girl is super hot if you just restyle her hair and slather on enough makeup!
2) If you don’t like the way your friends look, just change them!
3) Beauty-ology is a completely serious class that you need to study; Athena, as a nerd, is completely failing!
4) If someone’s not hot enough to be your BF (and it’s totally okay to judge them on their looks or disabilities, btws) just string them along for awhile until you can set them up with someone more their scene

Patricia’s Favorites!!!
Character: Medusa! Her snake hair is fab and she’s fatally dangerous to all mortal students at the school, but no one seems worried about that? Plus, she thinks “Bubbles” is an appropriately mean-spirited nickname for the Goddess of Love.
Part: Anytime anyone says a spell. Example: “Blow wind, blow. Off you go. Deliver this message, and don’t be slow.” Even Ron Weasley wouldn’t have trouble with that one!
Thing I Learned: I didn’t know that Hephaestus got married after his divorce from Aphrodite (in the book represented by him going over to talk to some other girl in the cafeteria)! Which is cool because I always felt bad for him before.

Her hair's so big because it's full of SECRETS. And snakes.

Steven’s Favorites
Character: The sentient makeup brush, hands down. Goodbye Pantheon, hello Beauty and the Beast! Pheme (goddess of Fame but also vicious rumor) gets a mention, too, if only for being written closest to her original form.
Part: The Immortal Marketplace: Arachne’s Sewing Supplies and Cleo’s (Cleopatra?) Cosmetics for the girls and Arts of Warfare for the boys.
Thing I Learned: I learned that adding “-ology” to any term immediately makes it an Immortal class subject. I’m now shooting for “Mortal-ology,” hopefully this series’ answer to HP’s “Muggle Studies.”

Goddess Girls Glossary of Ridiculous Terms
textscroll–like a textbook, but a scroll! Comes in colors
scrollizine–a magazine! Useful for getting makeover inspiration
godboy–the boy equivalent of a “goddessgirl”
lyrebell–how you tell when to change classes!
hero-ology
beauty-ology
craft-ology
beast-ology
metal-ology

Next Time: Artemis the Brave!!

Or read them in order: Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Book 4, Book 5, Book 6

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2011 Book List: The Bad

December 23rd, 2011 by pladd

As I explained previously, I’m giving you the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of my reading list this year! Here are the worst books I’ve read, which I found because they have the lowest star rating I could give on GoodReads (1).


The Wedding by Danielle Steel
Can two people who are vaguely different make it? Yes, because they have so much boring in common! I read this for class because it was a bestseller (I think in the 90s?). The main character is a Mary Sue named Allegra, and I can’t remember anything else about it besides that I hated her and wanted her to get attacked by flesh-eating bees. Sadly, she got married instead. ONE STAR.


The Birthing House by Christopher Ransom
A creepy ghost whose only power is surprise pregnancy. Terrifying, yes, but not what I want out of my ghost stories. ONE STAR.


Stork by Wendy DelSol
I did a more detailed hate-writeup of this here, but it’s basically Twilight, but with surprise pregnancy instead of vampires. ONE STAR.


Callie’s Rules by Naomi Zucker
I really don’t remember anything about this book or why I hated it. I think it had something to do with the town banning Halloween. Unless that debate involves wild accusations of cannibalism and someone counterattacking with how pagan all Christmas traditions are, I don’t care. ONE STAR.


Twenty Times a Lady by Karyn Bosnak
This book made me sad for women everywhere. Clearly revisiting all your ex-boyfriends because of the arbitrary advice from Cosmo is the best life plan after getting fired. Sure, they were jerks before, but I’m sure they’ve all changed since then. NEGATIVE ONE THOUSAND STARS.


Bones of Faerie by Janni Lee Simner
All I can remember is everyone talking about a way cool fairy/human war that would have made a much better book than this. ONE STAR.


Narcissus in Chains by Lauren K. Hamilton
For some reason, having sex in public is the answer to most of the heroines problems. Also a vampire and a werewolf are vying for her affections. I think my brain has blocked out everything but that. ONE STAR.


Pornified by Pamela Paul
I took off a lot of points for misleading summaries of research and really unscientific research methods. Also I think I was suspicious of a lot of her sources, since I read all of the citations after becoming increasingly skeptical of her findings. (A Billion Wicked Thoughts, which I also read this year, covers porn in much more interesting and scientific way. ONE STAR.


The Alpha Bet by Stephanie Hale
college has only two sororities! One is pure evil and the other is perfect and amazing and fun and everyone is so nice!!! ONE STAR.


One Butt Cheek at a Time by Amber Kizer
I honestly don’t remember anything about this book or why I didn’t like this. But I know I did. I’m going to guess I found the main character irritating.


The Society of Unrelenting Vigilance or Candle Man by Glenn Dakin
I still can’t tell which is the series title and which is the book title. This book annoyed me so much that I actually wrote a review on GoodReads! Here is what it said:

I really wanted to like this book. The title definitely hooked me, and I was interested to see why the main character, Theo, was being imprisoned by the clearly evil Dr. Saint. Unfortunately, the plot quickly slowed to a series of random events which did not mesh seamlessly (or really at all) into a whole plot. Theo himself is completely unlikeable, spending most of the book scared, unsure of himself, and not understanding what is going on around him, making his a very poor narrative point of view. His sidekick, Chloe, is mainly used as a deus ex machina. Each time the author writes himself into a corner–SURPRISE! Chloe is a double agent with secret connections, Chloe has memorized the secret system of tunnels, Chloe has been fighting the evil Society of Good Works since she was six! I can tell the author wants me to find Chloe funny, exciting, and awesome–mostly because Theo spends the whole book telling me she is–but I never found a good enough reason to care about her. I also spent most of the novel confused about the time period. The narrative had a very steampunk feel, but at one point someone hands Theo a laptop. Dakin’s attempt at world-building seems haphazard at best. At the end, a very minor character dies, and we’re told by a tearful Chloe that this character “was the real hero of the story”. Unfortunately, this is true, as this character–appearing in probably two scenes at most and doing nothing in either–was by far my favorite, since she hadn’t appeared often enough to be annoying. What was she like? I have no idea, but almost anything would be better than the “heroes” we have. Hopefully some of these issues are cleared up in the sequel, but I can’t see myself attempting to slog through more of Dakin’s uninspired prose to read.


Vanish by Sophie Jordan
This is the sequel to Firelight, which James convinced me to read. Jacinda spends most of it whining about everything that happens, even when she gets her way. Also, I don’t understand why people who can turn into dragons are so scared of normal humans. YOU CAN TURN INTO A DRAGON. One star.

 

Continue on to The Ugly

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2011 Book List: The Good

December 22nd, 2011 by pladd

According to my GoodReads account, I have read 185 so far in 2011! There were probably some I forgot to record, not to mention the ones I’ve reread, but that’s still pretty good! They even show me a cute little pie chart:

"YA" is my most popular category!

I thought I would show you The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of what I’ve read this year, based on the amount of stars I gave them! Starting with The Good first! These books all got 5 stars from me:


The Alanna Series by Tamora Pierce
I reread these this year and gave them 5 stars mostly for nostalgia purposes. Alanna used to be my favorite book character ever, complete middle school role model. This year I’ve decided I actually like Kel better, but Alanna and her magical lady knight ways will always have a place in my heart.


The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley
Intrepid girl detective/chemist solves two grisly murders! Also there’s pie!


Into the Wild Nerd Yonder by Julie Halpern
Sewing, LARP, D&D, and audio books! I’m pretty sure this book was written specifically for me!


Please Ignore Vera Dietz by A.S. King
Vera solves a few crimes, sees ghosts, and is a badass!


Attachments by Rainbow Rowell
90s nostalgia! A book written in emails! Secret IT love! I’m there.


What the World Eats and other books by Faith D’Alussio and Peter Menzel
This series was amazing! It’s pictures of either a single person or a whole family with the food that they eat for an entire week or day! With explanations about their food choices, living situation, country, where their food comes from etc. I learned so much about other countries from these books! Read the rest of this entry »

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The Circle Opens Book 3: Cold Fire

September 27th, 2011 by pladd

You could maybe tell from the title of this book that it’s about Daja, who has metal and smith powers! I’ve never had anything against Daja, except her moping through two Circle of Magic books before realizing that the Circleteers were really her friends. But that all got cleared up in Daja’s Book when she stopped a forest fire. This book is also about Daja stopping fires, perhaps because Tamora Pierce has a hard time thinking of ways for her to save the day with metal? Once again, Daja has to use her powers to try to save lives when fire gets out of control, only this time she’s up against an arsonist instead of the forces of nature! And you know I love when there’s a bad guy!

Daja and her teacher Frostpine are staying the winter in a medieval-fantasy version of Denmark? Maybe? It’s really cold and everyone gets around by ice-skating the frozen canals. As in the first two books in the series, Daja notices that the twin daughters of the family they’re staying with have special, previously-undetected magic with cooking and carpentry. Unlike the other two books, the city is apparently full of cooking-mages and carpentry-mages, so Daja is able to pawn the girls off onto better-suited teachers fairly quickly, leaving most of the story devoted to catching the arsonist who is hiding in their midst! Not-even-a-spoiler alert: it’s the guy in charge of fire brigades. This would be a huge shocker if we didn’t get whole passages from his point of view plotting to set things on fire fairly early on, making all the “No… IT CAN’T BE!” moments at the end kind of tiring.

Awards

Best New Character Award: It’s a tie between Heluda Salt, Police Mage, and Olennika Potcracker, Kitchen Mage. But I like them both for the same reason: being tough kickass women! Olennika doesn’t attend mage banquets because she’s “referred publicly to the richer of our members as parasites”(203). Heluda responds that she’s probably being too generous since at least real parasites feed other creatures so they can be good for something. Rock on, Lady Mages!

Returning Character Honorable Mention: Frostpine!
I’ve never really noticed Daja’s teacher before, except once when some other adult hints that he was (is?) a total, total player, but he is actually pretty funny. I like how he acts casually protective around Daja at times (like when BOYS are involved), but also casually gives her a lot of freedom to experiment and screw up. Plus, he sits naked in the kitchen fire.

Daja’s Improvement Score: +10% =85/100
Previously Daja has been a C-student for me. She’s not bad by any means, and I sometimes really like her stoic nature. She was about average as a main character in the first series, and luckily she has improved somewhat in this one! Congrats, Daja, you’re a B-student now! Without her friends to help her, Daja has to do more talking and standing up for herself, which she does pretty well! I don’t know if she’ll ever be my fave, but I wouldn’t mind hanging out with her.

Thing I Most Wish Was Real: Cooking magic! I think I’ve finally found the Circleeter-world magic that is for me! Now I guess I just have to wait for one of these wandering teen-mages to discover me and be forced to become my teacher!

The Play-by-Play

Chapter one
Daja and Frostpine are staying with Frostpine’s friends in the Frozen North! He has a bunch of daughters, but only two important ones, twins named Nia and Jory. Daja sees Jory put some magic into something she’s mixing in the kitchen. FIRE! Everyone runs outside and forms efficient bucket chains to put out the fire. Ben, a local merchant/expert in fire prevention, taught everyone how to handle fires because the whole city is made of wood. Daja is mad impressed that he can do all that without any magic, and he is mad impressed that Daja can command fire.

Chapter two
Frostpine bitches about being cold, as he will for the entire book. He explains that Daja has to help the twins with their magic, and that if one twin has magic, the other will too. It’s the first law of twins. Daja talks to Nia and Jory’s parents, who are happy their daughters have magic, but also annoyed that it will apparently ruin marriage negotiations. No one wants a headstrong mage wife!
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The Circle Opens Book 2: Street Magic

September 13th, 2011 by pladd

This book had lots of things going for it! One, it’s about Briar! He is my second favorite Circleteer! I realized last night that I pretty much like them in order of bitchiness because it seems more realistic to me. Like the first book in this new, more badass Circleteer series, it also has actual bad guys! A lot of them! And, like Sandry, Briar finds a young kid with strange magic and is forced by the “He who smelt it dealt it” law of mage-finding to be her teacher! Also, Briar gets back to his street rat roots with some gang warfare! Exciting!

The cover on the left makes Briar really look like a creeper

Briar and his teacher Rosethorn are traveling to the far off land of Yanjing, which seems to be fantasy-medieval Japan if their penchant for Bonsai trees is any indication. On the way they stop in the dusty, ancient city of Chammur, somewhere in fantasy-medieval Arabia. I would be cool with this change of scene, except that there is absolutely NOTHING good about fantasy-medieval Arabia! Everyone is a jerk or some kind of criminal, the land is constantly described as “tired” and too old to function, and Briar and Rosethorn pretty much can’t wait to get away. Chammur has, literally, no redeeming qualities. Briar meets no nice people besides foriegners who are equally attempting to escape, discovers no natural beauty, interesting customs, or anything to be happy about at all. The moral of the story apparently is that Islamic countries suck, and you should do everything within your power to escape them before you are trapped forever in this scorching, corrupt cesspit with no redeeming features.
So… kind of an interesting stance for a children’s book.

Awards

Best New Character: Lady Zenadia doa Atteneh
Okay, there weren’t a lot of likable new characters to choose from because, as I’ve said, Chammur is the worst place ever, and Lady Z is kind of annoying and not really developed. BUT she’s a fancy rich lady who decides to sponsor a street gang because she’s bored. And then dispenses swift, languid murder when they don’t do as she says. Way to commit to your hobby, Lady Z.

Returning Character Honorable Mention: Briar
Briar and Rosethorn are the only two returning characters, and Rosethorn spends most of the book on some kind of farm field trip despite the fact that Briar and Evvy are almost murdered by street children like every day.

Briar’s Improvement Score: -7%= 89/100
What happened to you, Briar, you used to be cool! Unfortunately, Briar has left his past as a wise-talking street urchin behind him, so much so that he forgets to protect his valuables in public and glamorizes gang life. He keeps pressuring Evvy to join a gang, even though gangs have caused pretty much all this book’s problems. He’s still my second fave, but I was sad to see that he’s grown more responsible and less funny.

Thing I Most Wish Was Real: Magical Bonsai Trees
Bonsai trees are already amazing in the normal world, so I can only assume adding magic would make them even better!

The Play-by-Play

Chapter one
Being back in the big city makes Briar think back to his street rat days a lot. As he’s wandering the market he sees a girl polishing some stones at a gem merchant’s stall. He notices that she’s putting magic into them or something and asks her about it. She freaks out and runs away. Some kids his age with fancy nose ring bling try to rough him up for being on Viper territory! Briar insists he’s not in a gang. The Vipers are apparently funded by fancy Lady Z, who is now interested in Evvy! Since apparently stone mages are really useful? I must assume so, since this is basically the plot of the rest of the book.

Chapter two
Rosethorn explains the rules of finding mages to Briar, who grumbles, realizing he’ll have to find Evvy again. This leads to a chase across the rooftops because we are apparently in the movie Aladdin.
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The Circle Opens Book 1: Magic Steps

September 6th, 2011 by pladd

You thought I’d forgotten my goal to read every Tamora Pierce Book ever!! Ha! It’s like you don’t even know me and my implacability when it comes to books aimed at middle schoolers. Today I read the first book in the second series about the Circleteers, following the Circle of Magic series. While the books in the first series were about the four Circleteers learning to use their magic and inevitably working together to fend off some natural disaster (and one memorable magical pirate attack), in this series the Circleteers are separated and have to work as individuals! So much so that I’m not even sure I can call them Circleteers anymore! You know, since their powers don’t combine and all. It’s something I’m pretty bummed about.

BUT this series seems to be vastly superior to the first in almost every other way! It’s almost like Tamora Pierce heard my complaints about there being no villains and every character being insufferably good, their only faults being things like “working too hard”. This book definitely has bad guys! And a series of grisly murders! Plus, Sandry is less insufferable than before! She’s 14 now, and has to deal with her own apprentice who seems to annoy her a lot for some reason, so she actually ends up complaining sometimes! Like a real person! I was thrilled. The basic premise for this series seems to be that each Circleteer is out seeing the world, runs across some slightly younger kid with weird magic that no one has ever seen before, and then becomes that kid’s teacher. Apparently the rule in Circleteer land is that if you find an untrained magical kid, you HAVE to become their teacher. So Sandry now has an apprentice who has dancing magic. Which seems a little weird, but, you know, after thread magic, I feel like I’m just going to go with it. I do hope these “strange and unknown magics” become ever more ridic as the series progresses until Book 4 is about Daja finding some boy with magical spit or something.

Here are the two covers! I like the one on the left better, even if he is clearly doing jazz hands

Awards

Best New Character: Wulfric Snaptrap
No matter Wulfric Snaptrap’s personality, he would have won this award based on his name alone. BUT he’s also a police mage, hardened by everything he’s seen. It seemed for a while like he and Sandry were going to turn into a great mentor/novice buddy cop duo, but alas.

Returning Character Honorable Mention: Duke Vedris!
We get to see a lot more of Sandry’s uncle including his steely resolve to both do what’s right and flirt with dancing girls. You go, Duke Vedris!

Sandry’s Improvement Score: +50%=50/100
Although Sandry is vastly less annoying in this book, I still can’t forget that I hate her.

Thing I Most Wish Was Real: Dragonsalt.
Not that I want to become addicted to magical drugs, I just wish drugs had cooler names/backstories like they apparently do here. I imagine drug dealers stealing into dragon caves and using a cheese grater to capture some of this sought-after narcotic right from the sleeping dragon’s scales.

The Play-by-Play

Chapter one
Sandry is living with her uncle, Duke Vedris, since he had a heart attack and no one else can nag him into not having another one like her. She does a lot of random making pieces of fabric move so we get that she has thread magic. Pasco’s friend’s family pays him money to do a good luck dance before they take their fishing boats out. Sandry sees him!

Chapter two
Sandry tells Pasco he has dancing magic, but Pasco thinks that’s stupid. Sandry makes a bet with Pasco about whether or not the fishing boats will do better today or not because of his dancing. Rokat, a rich merchant no one likes has been murdered! Apparently he was a jerk, so no one is sad.
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