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March Book List

March 31st, 2014 by pladd

This month I read only 5 books from my list. A little less than usual, but that’s okay. I took a break and read some other great things that weren’t part of my goal. I’m about 29% of the way there so far.

Grave Mercy by Robin LaFevers

Title: Grave Mercy
Author: Robin LaFevers
Amount Read: All
Rating: 5/5
Why was it on my list? That cover!

This book was awesome! I immediately looked to see if there was a sequel (and there is!! Though about different characters). It takes place in historical Brittany, where Ismae escapes from a terrible arranged marriage to an island abbey where the nuns serve Death. As assassins. There’s a little bit of magic, a lot of complex intrigue, and the perfect amount of ~romance~ with the added drama of whom can you really trust??. Love it.

More Than This by Patrick Ness

Title: More Than This
Author: Patrick Ness
Amount Read: All
Rating: 4/5
Why was it on my list? A list of good YA novels from last year

The novel opens with Seth drowning. He hits his head on a rock and dies. Then he wakes up, in the dusty remains of the house his family moved away from 8 years ago. Everything is abandoned and the entire town seems empty except for him. He must come to terms with the fact that he’s in some kind of hell…. or is he? I really liked the mystery involved, trying to figure out along with Seth what the hell is going on, and also the flashbacks to his life before drowning. There are multiple mysteries in this book, and I liked the way they twisted around each other. Only the ending was kind of unsatisfying, but maybe it’s a sequel set up. I’d be cool with seeing how this story continues.

Scorch by Gina Damico

Title: Scorch
Author: Gina Damico
Amount Read: All
Rating: 2/5
Why was it on my list? I enjoyed the first book in the series, Croak

True confession: I was not in the best state when I read this book, so maybe I would have liked it more at another time. The plot seemed unfocused, and the writing style and language kind of gimmicky. It ended on a cliffhanger, but I probably won’t read the third one.

Ash by Malinda Lo

Title: Ash
Author: Malinda Lo
Amount Read: All
Rating: 2/5
Why was it on my list? A list of fairy tale re-imaginings

This book was sold to me as “lesbian Cinderella” and I am all about that concept. Unfortunately, the execution wasn’t as exciting. Lo is very skilled at creating tone and mood, but all of her characters were somewhat two-dimensional and lacked personality. I didn’t really care about any of them, so of course none of them had any chemistry together and the romance portions seemed boring and awkward. I liked the world this lackluster story is built on top of, trembling between magic and modernity and full of myths and huntresses, and I wish the main characters had lived up to it.

Penpal by Dathan Auerbach

Title: Penpal
Author: Dathan Auerbach
Amount Read: All
Rating: 1/5
Why was it on my list? A list of horror books from around last Halloween

This book started as a series of Reddit posts, and that’s pretty much all you need to know. It didn’t even creep me out, and I am the world’s biggest wuss. Each lengthy chapter is its own short story, with a classic-style “THE CALL WAS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!” urban legend gotcha line at the end. The writing style was overly pompous, especially when the main character is mostly a child. Most of the characters act or speak in ways that aren’t appropriate for their age or situation (Mom is totally cool with letting her 5-year-old wander around the woods by himself! 11-year-olds analyze their friendships and admit when they are being distant and at fault!). Also, I had to buy this one (e-book), the first book I’ve bought for this project, so perhaps I was even more disappointed than usual.

The Ones I Decided Not To Read

Title: The Night Climbers
Author: Ivo Stourton
Why was it on my list? I have no idea. It’s been more than 4 years
Why I’m not reading it: This book only has a 2.95 star rating on Goodreads. All the reviewers basically just said it was a rip-off of The Secret History and not to bother. Since I would have to ILL it, and I already have enough to keep my library’s ILL department busy, I’m going to take their advice.

Title: Glamour in Glass
Author: Mary Robinette Kowal
Why was it on my list? It’s the sequel to Shades of Milk and Honey
Why I’m not reading it: The reviews made it sound like, though I enjoyed the first one, I wouldn’t like this one. I am still all about regency romance/historical fiction+now there’s magic! though

Previously: February
Next: April

Tagged: 2014, 2014 books, 2014 goals, Book Reviews, books

Posted in 2014 League of Six, Book Reviews |

2014 Book List: February

February 28th, 2014 by pladd

I got through books this month from my 2014 booklist, which means 22% of my goal is complete! Here they are, in order of me enjoying them:

Code Name Verity

Title: Code Name Verity
Author: Elizabeth Wein
Amount Read: All
Rating: 4/5
Why was this on my list?: I think I already had it on my list because of a review I read, but then it won just all the awards

The best thing about this book is the point of view. It starts off as the “confession” being written on scraps of paper by a Scottish spy in a Nazi interrogation headquarters in occupied France. Things get intense, as you can imagine. I also really enjoyed a look inside women’s lives during World War II: female wireless operators, female pilots, female spies, female special ops. It’s not a part of wartime life that gets a lot of press (did you even know there were lady pilots being badass back then?) and Wein deals with the issue with such humanity that it hardly feels like history. Her characters feel very real, which is part of why this book is so crushing because, yeah, they are in the middle of a brutal war, so most of it is also terrifying.

Letters from Skye

Title: Letters from Skye
Author: Jessica Brockmole
Amount Read: All
Rating: 4/5
Why was this on my list?: I read a review of it, and I love epistolary novels.

This novel is a series of letters telling one love story that spans 2 world wars. It begins when a cocky college boy sends a fan letter to his favorite poet, a semi-recluse who lives in the beautifully remote Isle of Sky, Scotland. Make anything an epistolary novel, and I will automatically like it more. It also kind of made me miss the rugged beauty of Scotland, and all those sheep fields and hills-not-mountains I used to tramp around.

Who Could That Be At This Hour?

Title: Who Could That Be At This Hour?
Author: Lemony Snicket
Amount Read: All
Rating: 3/5
Why was this on my list?: Leeeemoooooonyyyyy Sniiiiiickeeettttt

The Series of Unfortunate Events dragged on too much for me, but I’ve always enjoyed Lemony Snicket’s writing style (in manageable doses), and some of Daniel Handler’s adult novels are really enjoyable and well-written (particularly The Basic Eight, a mystery, and Adverbs, a confused fever dream). This first book in a new series takes place in the same universe as A Series of Unfortunate Events, just some years earlier. It has the usual Snicket kind of things: an ex-island (now mountain) that mines ink from terrified underground octopi, sneaky note passing through library book request cards, and a grim, Edward Gorey-like pall hanging over everything. Basically exactly what you’d expect, and sometimes that’s comforting.

Delusions of Gender

Title: Delusions of Gender
Author: Cordelia Fine
Amount Read: All
Rating: 3/5
Why was this on my list?: A review I read, probably on one of the blogs I follow about gender issues

This book was intensely interesting, and, of course, all about a subject I’m already very invested in. Cordelia Fine gives an overview of the various studies surrounding the “neuroscience of sexism,” the belief that there are two kinds of brains in the world and, say, the lady ones are somehow inherently bad at math and the guy ones just can’t grasp the concept of emotion unless it’s about bacon. Which you know is total bullshit, and it’s nice to have a more thorough understanding about some of the studies that supposedly back this up, and all of the ones that disprove it.

Gifts

Title: Gifts
Author: Ursula K. Le Guin
Amount Read: All
Rating: 3/5
Why was this on my list?: A book list about interesting kinds of magical systems in fantasy

This book was very atmospheric and odd, but unmistakably well-written, at least from a language standpoint. I got to the end and really felt like I knew the place she was writing about–I just wished more had happened there. It’s one of those slow-moving, world-building type of books, but at least the world is an interesting one. The poor hill clans each have magical “gifts” that help them survive, at least when bloodlines run true. The main character’s family birthright, just like his father’s, is to be able to unmake things with a glance and a gesture, at least it would be, if it would show up already. Sometimes waiting for puberty to turn you into a killing machine is such a drag.

The False Prince

Title: The False Prince
Author: Jennifer A. Nielsen
Amount Read: All
Rating: 3/5
Why was this on my list?: It was nominated for a Goodreads award

I feel like I would have been all about this book when I was like ten (except for the lack of badass ladies–ten-year-old me had standards), but unlike other children/YA books, it was harder to get into as an adult. The main character and a few other boys are being groomed to impersonate the crown prince of their fantasy-medieval country, which may be treason or may be Their Civic Duty. Also, the ones that don’t get picked get murdered, so it’s good motivation to study hard.

A Queer and Pleasant Danger

Title: A Queer and Pleasant Danger
Author: Kate Bornstein
Amount Read: All
Rating: 3/5
Why was this on my list?: It’s full title is A Queer and Pleasant Danger: The true story of a nice Jewish boy who joins the Church of Scientology and leaves twelve years later to become the lovely lady she is today

The best thing about this book is that on the first page there are a list of “Also By This Author” and the first thing my eye saw was Nearly Roadkill: An Infobahn Erotic Adventure. I was immediately thrown back in time to the single greatest thing I ever found while wandering the undisturbed stacks in Fondren. This book was insane. It was written entirely in chatroom transcripts, at a time when “Infobahn” was totally a word people thought would be used to describe the Internet in the future. I think I gave James Fox a copy for his birthday and reaching similar levels of ridiculousness is our yearly goal for Script Frenzy (alas, never achieved). I was BEYOND psyched to read its author’s memoir. Although looking back, that expectation set my sights a little too high. This book was crazy, but real-world crazy that was often just sad.

The Wedding Planner’s Daughter

Title: The Wedding Planner’s Daughter
Author: Coleen Paratore
Amount Read: All
Rating: 3/5
Why was this on my list?: I have no idea

This book was… okay. I can picture a certain kind of 8-year-old girl really liking it, although not 8-year-old me. It’s less about pretty dresses than you might suppose, but it’s more about everyday life drama of dealing with loss and moving on and making friends. Nothing all that exciting happens, although I enjoyed a lot of the descriptions of Cape Cod.

Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

Title: Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures
Author: Amber Dusick
Amount Read: All except one chapter
Rating: 2/5
Why was this on my list?: Recommended on Goodreads because I liked the Hyperbole and a Half book

I didn’t like this book for two reasons, neither of which were its fault. The first is that, because of the style and the way it was recommended to me, I was comparing it to Hyperbole and a Half, which is a comparison no one can win. Allie Brosh is amazing in every way (writing style, comedic timing, explaining something that is so true and sad somehow in a funny way) and it’s unfair to hold anyone else to that standard. The second is that it’s about parenting (duh), but mostly the really gross unappealing parts. Which is like all of them, when you’re me. I was already feeling sick when I read this, so I ended up skipping the chapter about being sick since the other ones had still been too much about bodily fluids for my liking.

Every Day

Title: Every Day
Author: David Levithan
Amount Read: All
Rating: 1/5
Why was this on my list?: I think it was nominated for an award or something?

The idea for this book is interesting–the main character is a new person everyday, wearing their body and accessing their memories until midnight when he moves on to some other random body (always the same age as him and within a close proximity). This premise raises a lot of interesting issues, almost none of which are explored. Towards the end, almost off-handedly, the protagonist discovers there are more people like him, and that they can learn to control what they do. But he dismisses finding out anymore about that because, whatever it’s not boring enough or something. The bulk of the plot is about his creepy relationship with the girlfriend of one of the people he possesses. Maybe it’s just because I really hate the love at first sight trope, but their relationship struck me as superficial bullshit. “He looks at her and only he can see her secret sadness” uggggggggh no. You can’t use that as a shortcut to establishing a believable connection between two characters. Plus, the ethical implications of dragging your host body around, wrecking its life because it’s your vehicle for the day are only kind of acknowledged. We’re supposed to realize that his stalker-Nice Guy(TM) love trumps all those concerns, I guess. Also, he hops into a lot of different teen-problem-novel-esque situations that we’re supposed to Learn A Very Important Lesson about, even though these people are portrayed as strange cardboard cut-out minorities with almost no humanity of their own. Except the one fat guy he possesses, who is described as “the societal equivalent of a burp.” The protagonist makes a big show of how non-judgmental he is, except of the fat guy, because since you did this to yourself, you deserve society’s scorn. A GIANT NOPE TO BOTH THOSE ASSUMPTIONS, David Levithan. Ew.

Goblin Secrets

Title: Goblin Secrets
Author: William Alexander
Amount Read: One and a half chapters
Rating: ???
Why was this on my list?: It won some awards

I wanted to like this book! I love Baba Yaga, and people with clockwork robot legs, and fish that swim in dust. But somehow the beginning and the main character both failed to grab me, and I found myself really unenthused about reading anymore. Maybe it’s the higher level of commitment you have to make to a fantasy novel, all the time it takes to understand the world it’s set in. I’m not willing to make the effort for just anyone! Maybe that makes me lazy, or picky, or something. I guess I have pretty high standards. But there’re too many books I want to read, so no sense wasting time on something that doesn’t excite you.

Previously: January

Tagged: 2014 goals, Book Reviews, books

Posted in 2014 League of Six, Book Reviews |

The Circle Reforged Book 1: The Will of the Empress

May 31st, 2013 by pladd

Edit: Here’s another review I wrote more than a year ago, and just never posted for some reason.

You guys, I can’t believe it! I unironically enjoyed this Circleteers book! Even some of the parts with Sandry! I know, I never thought this could happen! Maybe it’s the combination of the Circleteers being back together AND them also being 18. Every book about the Circleteers (btws this is a name for them I made up since they remind me of Captain Planet) follows the same basic structure:

1) Various people think it’s impossible for the Circleteers to do things
2) They prove them wrong
3) Tris is the greatest

This book didn’t deviate from that basic structure, but now that the main characters are older, their adventures are more intricate AND often involve some form of romance, which is always a welcome distraction from the sameness of the plot. Back from their myriad travels, the Circleteers find that they have grown up and grown apart. They don’t trust each other like they used to, and they fight more. Plus, they’re kicked out of the Temple where they grew up and have to Make It On Their Own. Apparently Sandry is also a rich noblewoman, not just in their country, but also in the ~~Russian~~ Namorn empire to the north! Her cousin, the empress, is throwing political temper tantrums to get her to come back there, so finally Sandry agrees. The other Circleteers go too, to protect her from the empress’ tricks.

As you can probably tell from the title and the empress’ all-seeing eyes on the cover, she is the main bad guy, always scheming to get Sandry and her money to stay in Namorn through various intrigues, kidnappings, and suave economic maneuvering. Plus, she starts tempting the other Circleteers with what they want most, which turns out to be plants, money, and lesbian love.

That’s right, this book features the first gay main character in Tamora Pierce! Daja, the smith Circleteer, has a vaguely described moment of truth and falls for a hot Namorn lady. Luckily, this is not an issues novel, so no one agonizes over it constantly or freaks out. Apparently Rosethorn and Lark, the two temple ladies running the cottage they lived in, were a couple this whole time? I thought clergy were celibate in this universe? Whatever.

Awards

Best New Character: Cousin Ambros
Guy is so long-suffering and apparently way good at math.

Returning Character Honorable Mention: Zhergeobova
I don’t really understand this guy’s name, but he was the slightly-less-insane resident of the psych ward in Cold Fire that helped Daja lead all the mental patients to safety.

What I Learned: A major point in the book is the Namornese custom of kidnapping women until they agree to marry you, which is apparently totally legal and okay in all social classes in Namorn. The Empress doesn’t care since she was kidnapped twice and managed to escape, so claims that women who don’t manage to get away “deserve what they get”. Way to stick up for the sisters, Empress B. Bride kidnapping is actually a real thing, even today! Because there is such a stigma against pregnancy out of wedlock in many cultures, the woman feels obligated to marry her abductor/rapist from shame and coercion. It happens in many different places (including the U.S.–where in 1985 a guy claimed it was a custom of his ethnic group, and so was only charged with false imprisonment instead of kidnapping and rape). Kyrgyzstan of the Impossible Spelling seems to come up a lot when discussing it, where it’s estimated that half of all marriages begin in bride kidnapping!

Thing I Most Wish Was real: Badass names like “Ladyhammer”.

The Play-By-Play

Chapter one
Sandry is pouty that the other Circleteers have been away so long, and annoyed that she has to read another list of numbers from her cousin, who runs her estates in Namorn. Daja is glad to be coming home, but doesn’t want to mind-speak with Sandry because Sandry talks too much. Daja is pissed that no one told her she’s 18 so can’t live at the Temple anymore. But she doesn’t want any of Sandry’s pity charity so she buys a house of her own in the city. Sandry is pissed that Daja won’t “open her mind” which I guess means open their mystical hive mind connection. I guess I’m supposed to think Daja is being really mean, but I’m totes with her on this. Tris is even more grumpy than usual because, now that she can see things on the wind, it’s hard to STOP so she wears bitchin sunglasses all the time to block it. Tris doesn’t want chump charity either, and insists on being Daja’s housekeeper. Briar keeps vaguely alluding to some horribleness that befell him and Rosethorn sometime after the events in Street Magic. It’s so vague and weird that I check multiple times to make sure I haven’t skipped a book. No one wants to resume their mystical connection, because they all have SECRETS. Except Sandry, who continues being pouty.

Chapter two
Briar is apparently seducing everything female, except the other Circleteers. Tris says she wants to go to Lightsbride, Mage University, because she doesn’t want to use her weather powers for war. She’s going to go under a fake name so no one will know about her freaky secret powers!! I really hope this is what happens in the sequel! Secret identity Tris adventures sound great! Everyone grumbles about having to go on another field trip to Namorn! Tris sees on the wind that a dam upriver has broken just as they are crossing the river! She hurries everyone across, but they don’t listen to her and grumble, so she threatens to throw lightning at them, saving their lives. Instead of being grateful and apologizing for being jerks to her, they blame her. Tris, you need to get your own book ASAP! Read the rest of this entry »

Tagged: Book Reviews, books, play by play, tamora pierce

Posted in Book Reviews |

The Circle Opens Book 4: Shatterglass

May 27th, 2013 by pladd

Edit: Do you remember like two years ago when I was rereading all the Tamora Pierce books that were, like, my life in middle school? Me neither, but apparently that was totally something that happened. I finished reviews for a bunch of books too, that for some reason I never posted. I found them in my drafts folder today, so here they are! In case you were waiting on the edge of your seat to see how this series ended. Sorry about that.

Woo!! Powered through The Circle Opens series! [Edit: LOL] Clearly I like the Circleteers way better when they are either separate or older. Probably both! Of course, I liked this book the best since it’s about Tris, my favorite Circleteer of them all. Here are some reasons why she is awesome: 1) Weather magic=clearly the best magic, 2) she likes books, 3) she is generally annoyed at others, which is a welcome relief from the other suspiciously cheerful Circleteers, and 4) fat kid solidarity. Luckily Tamora Pierce didn’t harp too much on how Tris is The Fat One in this book. The cover art at least doesn’t seem to think it’s that bad:

For the first time ever, I think I like the less melodramatic cover on the left

Tris and her teacher, the fabulous Niko, are traveling far to the South in a city that has a ton of glassblowers and also a rigid caste system. Tris witnesses an inept journeyman glassblower magically create a living glass dragon by accident! And then have a tantrum about how NO HE DOESN’T HAVE MAGIC GO AWAY. Keth is probably the most interesting Circleteer student-mage of the series, because he’s at least 20! Luckily, Tris is the bossiest person in all of Circleteer-land so this is not really a problem. The main conflict in this book is a lot like Magic Steps (Book 1) in that there is a crazy murderer loose in the city and only Tris and Keth can bring him/her to justice! Unlike in Book 1, we never get anything from the murderer’s point of view, meaning his identity remains a mystery until the very end! Good job, Tamora Pierce, you have successfully navigated the crime/mystery genre! Instead, we occasionally get passages from the point of view of Dema, police mage who, damn it, is going to CLEAN UP THIS CITY no matter what it takes! He reminded me a lot of a less dead Wulfric Snaptrap and less seedy Sam Vimes. Plus, Tris has TWO adorable animal companions, who somehow don’t even annoy me at all!

Awards

Best New Character: Dema, the police mage!
Dema is from the First Class, which apparently means he is super noble and takes it as his role to protect the lesser classes. Since the murderer is going after street dancing girls, no one else seems to think it’s a problem, but he will not rest until the killer is stopped! Even if it means pissing off all of the city’s priests, who hate justice. The only thing missing was for him to constantly mutter about how he was too old for this.

Returning Character Honorable Mention: Nikolaren Goldeye!
Tris’ teacher is ALL ABOUT wearing the fanciest clothes possible and pretty much owning everyone at magic, which sounds like my dream job. He’s basically Numair from the Immortals series, without all that troubling pedophilia. Thanks for not making a pass at Tris, Niko! Since you’re in a Tamora Pierce book, I know it’s a constant danger you must guard against.

Tris’ Improvement Score: +0%=100/100
Oh, Tris. Never change.

Thing I Most Wish Was Real: Pet Winds
So with Tris’ weather magic, she can basically control winds. She uses them for all kinds of awesome things, most noticeably as personal, portable air conditioning in the hot climates, and one time to fly her up a flight of stairs. My goals in life include flying and never having to sweat again, so I am psyched about both.

The Play-by-Play

Chapter one
Tris is exploring Tharios! She asks a garbage collector for directions, and the girl yells at her because she’s one of the Untouchables, a hated caste who handle gross things. You’re supposed to just ignore them! Tris thinks this is bullshit. She stumbles upon a glassblower who clears doesn’t know what he’s doing! He accidentally creates a magical glass dragon, and then tries to kill it! Tris saves the glass dragon and yells at the guy for not controlling his magic. The guy yells back that he has no magic and then breaks some things. Keth the glassblower backstory: he used to be a great glassblower whom everyone loved, but then he was struck by lightning and now he can’t do it anymore without screwing up! Boo hoo! His family kicked him out and now he lives with his glassblowing cousin trying desperately to regain his lost talent. Dema, police mage, is haunted by the ghosts of murdered dancing girls, demanding he find their killer!! Their bodies are always strangled and left dramatically in public places! Apparently Tharios is terrified of death and uncleanliness and the priests have to purify every place a body was found ASAP, which makes it impossible to dust for prints or whatever magical detectives do. He is super annoyed! Read the rest of this entry »

Tagged: Book Reviews, books, play by play, tamora pierce

Posted in Book Reviews |

Challenged Books: Captain Underpants

May 7th, 2013 by pladd

The Adventures of Captain Underpants by Dav Pilkey

The Captain Underpants books used to be super popular in the 6-9 age range, and you can see why. A superhero that flies around in his underpants??? Sling-shotting other pairs of underpants at bad guys who have names like Dr. Diaper and the Turbo-Toilet 2000??? I mean, yeah, I would never read this for fun, but it’s obvious that, if you’re going through that phase where you think farts and underwear are the height of comedic prowess, these books have got your back. The story follows George and Harold, two fourth grade troublemakers, who create their own comic books about a hero called Captain Underpants. Then, due to a hypnosis accident, their mean school principal is fooled into believing that he is Captain Underpants and runs off into the city in his underwear to fight crime. Harold and George stop him from causing too many problems, and, due to not reading the directions on the hypno-ring, the principal is now forced to switch between his Mean Middle Aged Guy and Captain Underpants personas whenever he hears the sound of snapping fingers.

Fairly predictably, some people take umbrage with a book series where every page is basically “LOL UNDERWEAR” because what if it encourages your kids to say uncouth things, like “toilet breath”? Which they’re probably doing anyway, but whatever. Steven once told me that the movie ET was banned from his house because he wouldn’t stop gleefully shouting “penis breath”. Sadly, this intervention was too late to save him (he still shouts “penis breath” uncontrollably sometimes, it can be awkward at restaurants). So I can see why some people want to take no chances with Captain Underpants. Unfortunately, I don’t think banning all the books in the world would keep our sweet cherubs from going through a toilet humor phase, so maybe we all just need to chill and hope it passes quickly.

This series was first published in 1997, with a six year wait between books 8 (Captain Underpants and the Preposterous Plight of the Purple Potty People) and 9 (Captain Underpants and the Terrifying Re-Turn of Tippy Tinkletrousers). So, yeah, Game of Thrones fans, it’s not like you have some copyright on agonizing waits for book sequels. Plus, George R. R. Martin knows that you will always love to read about lamprey pie and the uncertainty of your own mortality, but Pilkey has to worry about his audience graduating the fourth grade and getting interested in girls.

For Steven:

Tagged: banned books, Book Reviews, challenged books, Steven

Posted in Banned Books |

Goddess Girls: Pandora the Curious

April 9th, 2013 by pladd

It has been almost 6 months since our last Goddess Girls review!!! Steven has hopefully used his time off to become less crotchety and bitter. Pandora and Prometheus are two of my favorite myths so I was really excited to read this book!

Super sad that her bangs aren’t more obviously in the shape of question marks

Summary of Amazingness
By Patricia
So Pandora accidentally/on purpose opens this box belonging to loner Titan brothers, Epimetheus and Prometheus, and a bunch of colored bubbles pop out! But no one else can see them, and when they hit people around Mount Olympus Academy, they whisper words like “ditz”, “lazy”, or “vain” and dramatically change that person’s behavior! Usually in a super ironic way! Athena becomes an idiot, Artemis is obsessed with her appearance, Principal Zeus just wants to sleep all the time, Aphrodite rudely begins burping all her dialog, Medusa is greedy, Prometheus is a thief, Poseidon is a scaredy-cat, and Persephone has rage issues. Meanwhile, Prometheus accidentally sets fire to the world while trying to help mortals, whose fires have all gone out thanks to Zeus’ negligence. As punishment, Zeus makes him eat his least favorite food, liver, for every meal, and sets a magical eagle to watch him to make sure he does. Pandora finally saves the day by releasing the last bubble from the box, Hope, and recaptures all the “trouble bubbles”. Plus, she wins the science fair and gets to have lunch with Aristotle, Pythagoras, and Hippocrates! Wooo science!!

Who wouldn’t want to have lunch with this guy? And then do some… shirtless math? YOU GO PYTHAGORAS! WOO!

Faithfulness to Original Mythos
By Steven
First of all, being crotchety and bitter is kind of a one-way street—you don’t get less that way—so ignore any of the lies being told above. And in that spirit, let’s consider how Pandora the Curious stacks up against the source material. First, take a high-level look at points from this and from the original: Pandora and Epimetheus are a romantic item, the box comes to Epimetheus by way of Zeus, Pandora is responsible for the evils inside escaping. Surprisingly, when squinted at, this book meets all three criteria. Granted, ‘romantic item’ in the original was ‘man and wife’, the box and Pandora both represented a revenge scheme of the pantheon’s against Epimetheus and his brother rather than a slapstick accident of fate, and the box’s contents in the real story certainly never re-entered it once open. But overall, I’ll rate it ‘close enough.’ Bonus points for Prometheus’s parts in this version, attempting to bring fire to the mortals (more by accident than anything) and his liver punishment (much less gruesome than the original), though points taken on account of the latter one not involving Heracles. I mean come on, you guys, he’s already a character in the book. But then having him strangle the principal’s pet eagle would probably not fly well with the target tween audience, so perhaps it was better left undone. All in all, I’d rate this one more accurate than the last with plenty of amusing references along the way for the pedantically minded (like me).

Come on, Prometheus, no one likes eating liver. Stop overreacting like a big baby.

Tween Girl Life Lessons
By Patricia
1) Science=curiosity about the world! But use your powers wisely
2) People change, so it’s okay to change your crush
3) Save your homework for the last minute and then hurriedly scribble some rambling story about your personal life! You’ll win first prize!

Steven’s Favorites!
Character: Greed-Medusa. Unabashedly hilarious, in a misanthropic way. Which is my favorite kind.
Part: “Ares sported pj’s bearing the logo of a sword-making company in the Immortal Marketplace called Mighty Fighty.”
Thing I Learned: You can beat your severe ADD if you just try hard enough. Apparently. Also don’t open creepy boxes.

Girl was probably just looking for some clothes. She’s naked in like every picture

Patricia’s Favorites!!
Character: Pandora is actually pretty awesome, you guys. In other books she’s portrayed as kind of annoying in that she only speaks in questions, but here we see that she is 1) nice to everyone, even outcasts like the Titans or Medusa, 2) super intrepid, sneaking into Zeus’ office in the middle of the night like it ain’t no thing, and 3) really into science!! I really want her to have a spin-off series where she solves mysteries.
Part: Under the effects of the “greedy” bubble, Medusa changes her science project research question to just “GIVE ME MORE”. Medusa, you’re still my homegirl
Thing I Learned: If Zeus falls down on the job, every fire on Earth will go out and no one will be able to light more.

Next Time: Pheme the Gossip!!!
Previously:
Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Book 4, Book 5, Book 6, Book 7, Book 8, Super Special

Tagged: Book Reviews, goddess girls, Steven

Posted in Book Reviews |

2012 Book List: The Bad

December 25th, 2012 by pladd

Merry Christmas! I’m writing this from the past! Ooooh!

I don’t have as many books on my The Bad list as last year, maybe because James and I kind of fell behind at our book club.

Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James

If I try to succinctly tell you how much I hated this book, it will just be a scream of inarticulate rage, so you should probably just check out my tumblr on the subject. The writing? The plotting? The characters? The terrible gender dynamics? All will be mocked in time. But even updating two or three times a day, it’s still going to take a while to get out all my hate on this subject.

Fifty Shades Darker by E. L. James

Blah blah blah self-insert Twilight fanfic

Fifty Shades Freed by E. L. James

Reading this was hard because I knew that some people weren’t immediately repulsed by Christian Grey and the way his internal monologue is indistinguishable from a serial killer’s. That’s probably why my response was to hate-vomit all over tumblr.

We’ll Be Here for the Rest of Our Lives by Paul Shaffer

We talked about why this one sucked before–still don’t want to ban it, though.

Boyfriends with Girlfriends by Alex Sanchez

This book had good intentions, about showcasing different types of relationships and navigating the dating scene when you’re not sure about your sexuality. Too bad every page was just a conversation pulled straight from a handbook about How To Talk To Troubled Teens.

Heavenly Hijinks by Ashley Ladd

The constellation Leo takes human form to seduce a hot lady psychic. You can pretty much judge everything about this book by its cover.

I either read fewer terrible books this year, or just got less picky.

The Good
2012: The Ugly
2012 Bonus: The Pretty

Tagged: 2012, book list, Book Reviews, books

Posted in Book Reviews, lists |

Banned Books Week Redux: Revolutionary Voices

October 26th, 2012 by pladd

I just got this book through interlibrary loan! Not sure why my library didn’t own it; hopefully because it’s 12 years old and put out by a smaller publisher.

Title: Revolutionary Voices: A Multicultural Queer Youth Anthology
Editor: Amy Sonnie
Challenged In: Burlington County, New Jersey public libraries; Mount Holly, New Jersey High School
By: the 9/12 Project
For: being “pervasively vulgar, obscene, and inappropriate”

I had to look up what the 9/12 Project was, because apparently they were challenging books all over the place. The ALA’s write-up of this challenge said that they are “a nationwide government watchdog network launched by the talk-radio and television personality Glenn Beck” and their website says their aim is to bring communities “back to the place we were on 9/12/2001”. I assume because they too just want to go back to a simpler time when N*SYNC was still putting out albums. I don’t know what that has to do with excising all positive information about queer youth, especially since this book was published in 2000–guys, it totally would have already been on those shelves on 9/12/2001! Especially since that was the year it was recognized by School Library Journal. Historical recreation fail, 9/12 Project. I am disappoint.

Revolutionary Voices is an anthology of fiction, creative nonfiction, poetry, and art submitted by queer youth aged 14-26 from around the world. The authors come from all different backgrounds and cultures, and their contributions don’t necessarily focus solely on sexual identity, but also on other problems or issues in their lives. Each author or artist also gets a brief biography page, usually with a picture. The book states many times that it is written and edited “by youth for youth”.

This book was pretty cool, although it felt outdated. Even though it was published in 2000, the editor first began to gather submissions in 1995. A lot of the author biographies mention multiple zines. Do people still remember zines? Does anyone younger than me even know what that is? I think most of the submissions would still resonate with today’s youth, especially since this anthology has such a focus on multiculturalism. Though there are other anthologies about sexual identity that have come after this one, I haven’t seen one with such a focus on writers with different backgrounds. As one of the authors writes in his biography: “For the first time in my life I feel no shame in telling the world I’m Hispanic and gay… Eventually I’d like to start an outreach program to educate Hispanic parents to better understand their gay kids. There are many outreach programs for English-speaking people, but in Texas the majority of Hispanics don’t speak English” (24). I love the concept of this book, and I wish the project had continued. It also made me wonder what a lot of these authors are doing now.

I’m not going to quote anything else because the only “vulgar” and “obscene” parts I could find were about homophobic abuse at the hands of friends, family members, and communities described in some of the submissions. Maybe it’s your hate that’s inappropriate, 9/12 Project. Banned Books Week is important, but it can sometimes leave me feeling drained and sad, so I’m going to cut this post short and go to the park.

Previously: What’s Happening to my Body Book for Boys

Tagged: ALA, banned books, Book Reviews

Posted in Banned Books |