Posts Tagged ‘2012’

2012 Bonus Book List: The Pretty

I felt kind of bad looking through my Goodreads account just for bad covers when there were so many nice ones this year too, so I thought I would show you those too:

A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis by David M. Friedman

Is this not just the PERFECT cover design for this subject? From the fancy olde timey guy to the placement of the O. Awesome.

Snuff by Sir Terry Pratchett

His ship is sinking and he still has a cigar in his mouth. I love it.

Between Two Ends by David Ward

I read this book solely because the cover was so cool looking! I ended up giving it only two stars. It was alright, but didn’t live up to the hype of its cover.

The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy

The illustrations in this one in general were really detailed and good. The cover also continues around to the back, which I like.

The Invisible Gorilla by Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons

Non-fiction books seemed to have impressed me more in general this year, especially in the cover department. Maybe I expect less.

Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendare Blake

Creeeeeepy

Kat, Incorrigible by Stephanie Burgis

This is another book like Jane Austen except everyone has magic, this time for middle grades. I think the cover fits the tone pretty perfectly.

Leftovers by Tom Perrotta

One day a bunch of people all over the world just disappear, and those that are left wonder what the heck happened. Thought it would be a Left Behind knockoff, but actually wasn’t religious at all.

Excited to start reading in 2013!

The Good
2012: The Bad
2012: The Ugly

2012 Book List: The Ugly

One of my favorite times of year!! The time when I look back at all the books I read and judge them shamelessly by their covers!! Some of these will be familiar from The Good and The Bad lists, because ugliness isn’t an indicator of quality.

Reluctantly Alice by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

I read this whole series this year, and a lot of them were published in the 80s and 90s, which were like the golden years for terrible children’s book covers like this where they went for illustrating a scene in the book. Just so we’re clear, that’s the middle school bully trying to beat her up, not a cross-country trucker.

Alice on the Outside by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Even when Alice is in a sexy situation instead of a scary one, it’s just as awk and ugly.

Flamingo Rising by Larry Baker

This book was on my Good list, but I really think they could have designed a better cover. The book is full of really cool visuals! He lives at a drive-in movie theater with a neon sign the size of a building, come on.

Virgin Vegan Valentine by Carolyn Mackler

I feel awkward staring at this girls chest in her boring tank top.

Things I’ve Learned From Girls Who Dumped Me

This cover is okay, but the book was pretty funny, so I wish it was better.

Outrageously Alice by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Alice is invited to a lingerie-themed bridal shower. I know, I was disappointed too

Never Sit Down In a Hoop Skirt and Other Things I Learned in Southern Belle Hell by Crickett Rumley

I’ve fallen down in a hoop skirt before, and that is not what it looks like.

Love*Com Volume 3 by Aya Nakahara

AH GOBLINS!

The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler

I actually really like this concept: two 90s kids get magical access to their future facebook profiles and then try to change their lives to “fix” what they see.

The Agony of Alice by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

That is bad-acting mopey, AT BEST. I was promised agony.

Heavenly Hijinks by Ashley Ladd

I almost didn’t put this on here, because it does get you perfectly prepared for what you are about to read. But, come on, he’s a sexy lion man.

The Good
2012: The Bad
2012 Bonus: The Pretty

2012 Book List: The Bad

Merry Christmas! I’m writing this from the past! Ooooh!

I don’t have as many books on my The Bad list as last year, maybe because James and I kind of fell behind at our book club.

Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James

If I try to succinctly tell you how much I hated this book, it will just be a scream of inarticulate rage, so you should probably just check out my tumblr on the subject. The writing? The plotting? The characters? The terrible gender dynamics? All will be mocked in time. But even updating two or three times a day, it’s still going to take a while to get out all my hate on this subject.

Fifty Shades Darker by E. L. James

Blah blah blah self-insert Twilight fanfic

Fifty Shades Freed by E. L. James

Reading this was hard because I knew that some people weren’t immediately repulsed by Christian Grey and the way his internal monologue is indistinguishable from a serial killer’s. That’s probably why my response was to hate-vomit all over tumblr.

We’ll Be Here for the Rest of Our Lives by Paul Shaffer

We talked about why this one sucked before–still don’t want to ban it, though.

Boyfriends with Girlfriends by Alex Sanchez

This book had good intentions, about showcasing different types of relationships and navigating the dating scene when you’re not sure about your sexuality. Too bad every page was just a conversation pulled straight from a handbook about How To Talk To Troubled Teens.

Heavenly Hijinks by Ashley Ladd

The constellation Leo takes human form to seduce a hot lady psychic. You can pretty much judge everything about this book by its cover.

I either read fewer terrible books this year, or just got less picky.

The Good
2012: The Ugly
2012 Bonus: The Pretty

2012 Book List: The Good

According to my GoodReads account, I’ve read 106 books so far in 2012, and 32,422 pages. That’s about half of last year which makes me a little sad.

Part of me thinks I must have forgotten to record some, but I guess we’ll never know

Anyway, since it was a lot of fun last year to look back through, I thought I would give you a run down of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly again. These books all got five stars from me this year:

The Monstrumologist by Rick Yancey

This series were my three favorite books I read this year. I read each in a day because I couldn’t stop, and then read them to Steven in another three days because he couldn’t either. It’s historical horror with a gruesome, gothic feel and characters that are too real. Will Henry is a young assistant to the world’s greatest monstrumologist, Dr. Pellinore Warthrop, who’s also an incredibly egotistical, selfish pain to deal with. You can think of him as a monster hunter, though he would insist that he’s a scientist and give you a lecture about the difference. He and Will Henry have such a fierce love/hate relationship, bound by guilt and life debts, and everytime I think about how I have to wait till next September till the fourth (and last?) book in this series I start to hyperventilate a little. WILL HENRYYYYYYYYY, I need you right now.

Anyway, in this, the first book, Will Henry and Dr. Warthrop attempt to save their town from vicious, blood thirsty anthropophagi, humanoid monsters with no heads and mouths in their stomachs.

The Curse of the Wendigo (Monstrumologist Book 2) by Rick Yancey

Will Henry and Dr. Warthrop travel from the far off wastes of Canada to the bustling metropolis of New York to save a colleague and old friend of Warthrop’s from the wendigo, a ravenous ghost vampire monster which the Doctor insists isn’t really, because that would be silly.

The Isle of Blood (Monstrumologist Book 3) by Rick Yancey

Shit gets real when Dr. Warthrop leaves Will Henry behind to hunt the holy grail of monsters. Of course, he regrets it AS HE SHOULD, and Will Henry is forced to rescue him from an insane asylum, and then accompany him to Socotra, the Isle of Blood, where shit gets even more real. This book contains a cameo from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and is simultaneously the saddest and most badass bildungsroman ever. I loved it so much that, when I finished it, I just lay face down on the floor of Steven’s office silently shrieking into the carpet. He ignored me because he’s used to me. Seriously, you should read this series if you like things that are well-written and exciting and also slightly terrifying.

Part of me wants to just end this entry right here because NOTHING EVEN COMES CLOSE TO YOU, WILL HENRY. But I’ll go on, since Goodreads as yet provides no rating for “THE BEST THING” so you’re stuck in the same category with these fools for now:

Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendare Blake

Speaking of creepy, try having this on your nightstand for a week. It’s about a teen ghost hunter who literally kills ghosts with a freaky mystical knife.
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Writing to people on the basis of making my map look cool

Also to use up my 91 cent stamps

This week, among other things, I wrote a letter to the state of North Dakota from the state of North Carolina to point out that we both have North in our names so we should probably form a secret alliance against the other 48 states (read: chumps). It’s possible that I don’t have the jurisdiction to send such an invitation on behalf of my entire state, but, like the dishes, no one else was doing it, so I thought I might as well. I expect a favorable reply from the Roughrider State any day now.

Stay tuned for a Sam Neill update later today, Brian!

More than halfway there!

As you can see, I've been busy writing to my government representatives! Or at least their interns

Don’t worry; I have plans to contact the midwest to make this map look more exciting!

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