2013 Cookbook Project: Coca-Cola: Refreshing Recipes

I wanted to start off my New Year’s Resolution to make one recipe out of each of our (completely underused) cookbooks with this one, partially because I considered it a challenge! Also because we’ve had it for like two years (I think it was a Christmas gift to Steven) and have never used it once.

Plus, I spent at least once of those years thinking it was a joke

Plus, I spent at least once of those years thinking it was a joke

This book actually has a ton of recipes in it, with chapters on Soups & Starters, Beef & Pork, Poultry & Seafood, Sides, Sauces & Salads, and Desserts. A lot of them don’t really use that much Coke–maybe a little in the sauce where you might normally use sugar–which would explain how they could work in so many different kinds of recipes, from Asian beef to paella. But, let’s be real, you could easily make any of these without Coke. In fact, for most of them I think you could follow the recipe in the Coke cookbook, but omit the Coke, and still be fine. It really didn’t seem like it made too much of a difference in most of these recipes, which is probably for the best tasty-recipe-wise. The one I decided to make was “Sweet and Spicy Shrimp Tacos with Mango Salsa” (recipe after the cut):

It turned out pretty delicious

Steven and I are both pretty bad at folding tacos so the stuff doesn’t fall out so we usually don’t even try

It turned out delicious! I’m always a little nervous about cooking shrimp, and the process usually involves me yelling “What do you think now?” at Steven multiple times before we both agree that they’re probably beyond done. I really liked the mango salsa, although we started late so it didn’t get to steep the required 1 hour in the fridge before we ate it. This meal was kind of weird, but good, and not really as much work as its length made me think it would be. I guess this book makes the cut, even if it is a little silly. Especially since I still want to try some of the desserts, like Coca-Cola Float Cupcakes.
Recipe: Read the rest of this entry »

So yesterday I almost had a heart attack…

I saw the email subject, screamed, and dropped my phone on the floor

I saw the email subject, screamed, and dropped my phone on the floor

Steven was there, he’ll tell you.

First I just hyperventilated. Then for a brief, shining second I thought “We are going to become BFF!!!!” Then finally my brain reminded me of all the times I’ve made fun of Merlin II or Choppy McAxeFace or Mustache Sam and decided it’s possible that what he really wants is REVENGE. You know what they say: Keep your friends close, and follow your enemies on Twitter. I started to get kind of panicky.

Then I realized he probably just follows everyone that follows him. It’s not like he googles himself constantly, has read my blog, and wants to keep tabs on me because I seem too obsessive (I’m not that obsessive, Sam, I just like to finish things I start). So I can continue the Sam Neill Project without fear of angry Sam Neill reprisals.

Unless I go missing and then later you discover my axed-up corpse.

You'll know why

You’ll know why

2013 Plans

I am not really a big fan of resolutions, I think because most of the time they are so vague. This is probably the fifth year I’ve thought “I should really eat more vegetables” but then after a week of roasted broccoli and fancy salads I forget to make a special effort. For resolutions to work, at least for me, they have to be more specific, explicitly stating the goal and how it’s going to be achieved. That’s why my only achieved new year’s resolution ever, the January Letter Writing Project, was successful at all: there was a clear goal and a clear to-do list to achieve it. Write a letter every day for a month. Also, the goal was achievable, at least for me, who doesn’t find writing letters to be particularly onerous. It’s too easy to burn out by setting yourself personally unreachable goals. I’d like to say that I’m going to write ten pages every day until my final draft is done, but you know that’s not going to happen, and certainly not well. Why set yourself up for failure? So this year I’m laying down some goals with actual numbers and time lines involved in the hopes that I won’t just forget about it in a week or give up because I have unrealistic expectations.

1. Make at least one recipe from each of our cookbooks

This is the one I’m most excited about! We have a whole shelf of cookbooks (about 38, by my count), and some of them we received as gifts and have maybe never even opened. This project will not only hopefully help me discover good recipes we already own, but maybe will also help me weed some of them that we don’t need. So basically I am hosting a reality show in my kitchen where each week I put a different book up to an arbitrary test. Will they survive? Or be sentenced to library donation? I’m sure I’ll update you dramatically as I go. I only have to do like three a month to get through them all, so I’m not really worried about this one, although some of the books will be easier to accomplish than others. Like Steven’s ancient Roman cookbooks? It’s possible I will have to substitute something for dormouse. Also one of them may be a joke cookbook by Sir Terry Pratchett, but whatever, go big or go home.

2. Read 200 Books

I struggled deciding what number to set myself. In my journal when I wrote these out a month ago I actually vowed 300, but this morning that seems a little far-fetched. According to my goodreads account, my most prolific reading year was 2011, when I read just short at 193 books. Okay, before that I wasn’t really keeping careful track, but still. In 2012 I only managed 108, so my 2013 goal is basically twice as much reading. 200 is still 3-4 books a week and 16-17 books a month. Granted, I can whip through children’s, non-fiction, or graphic novels pretty quick, but that’s still a lot of reading. I’m confident that this one can be done, but I’m not sure if it will.

3. Knock Off At Least 1 State from My Map

So far I have yet to visit the country's juicy center

Some day, Nebraska

As Brian pointed out, West Virginia would probably be the easiest to accomplish since it’s only 3 hours away, but who knows what the year will bring?? Maybe I will take an Alaskan cruise!! You never know.

4. Lift weights at least once a week

I’ve kind of been doing this anyway, so listing it as a resolution might be cheating. Originally I’d written, “Work my way up to lifting TWICE AS MUCH!!!!” but I’m not really sure if that’s even possible or how. I’m not very knowledgeable about weight lifting so I will probably just see how it goes rather than set potentially impossible and dangerous goals.

5. Knit a cardigan

Apparently my brother has a New Year’s Resolution to Look More Like Mr. Rogers while still being swathed only in obnoxious goldenrod. Finding the right color yarn might be tricky, but I’ve already found a free pattern on Ravelry, a knitting and crochet social networking site I discovered last year. I know, I joined to make fun of the concept too, but then it quickly seduced me with its free patterns and tutorials and being able to brag about my knitting accomplishments. Sigh.

Where ARE my stitches at?

You can laugh all you want. I still kind of do

6. Send out my entire stash of postcards

I can’t entirely abandon my annual show of solidarity with the USPS. Except this time I’m giving myself an entire year since I have more than a month’s worth of postcards.

7. SUPER SECRET SEVENTH RESOLUTION

Unfortunately, I can’t reveal my super secret seventh resolution yet, although I hope that before the end of the year (okay, probably 12/31/13 but still) I will be able to write a dramatic, picture-filled blog post about how I kicked its ass. I am already hard at work to achieving it, but I know it will take pretty much the whole year, if it’s achievable at all.

Wait, what am I saying, GO BIG OR GO HOME, PLADD. Anything is possible with a library card!

Spam Report: December 2012

Last Spam report of 2012! What with vacation and my internet freaking out, I ended up leaving my spam folder alone for about 2 weeks! Until this morning, when I checked and saw that I had 487 new messages. What can I say, spambots love me. So, after a laborious culling process, I bring you these:

On my NaNoWriMo post:

Michael writes:

It’s a slow news day because there’s nnthiog new on the Paris Hilton front.I think the major media organizations would fry a fuse if an atom bomb went off from a terrorist in New York AT THE SAME TIME that Paris was being let out of jail.It would probably be resolved by stand-by cameras at Paris’ jail, with brief interruptions for news on the attack.

I can only assume Michael is trying to give me ideas for next year’s NaNoWriMo. Sorry, Michael, but scathing social commentary on the state of the media is so 2008.

Sundance writes:

My problem was a wall until I read this, then I smsahed it.

I love this metaphor, Sundance, and the way I am now envisioning you as some kind of angry Wario character. I don’t know what kind of problems my NaNoWriMo bragging post helped you solve, but I’m guessing boredom, since it takes a good while to get through Mazelandia.

On my Hobbit Review post:

Omar Scoggins writes:

The next time I learn a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as significantly as this one. I mean, I do know it was my option to learn, even so I really thought youd have 1 thing interesting to say. All I hear is really a bunch of whining about something that you could repair when you werent too busy seeking for attention.

Whatever, Omar. You’re entitled to your own opinion, and you’re probably right that if I took the time to slog through The Silmarillion I wouldn’t be whining so much about the books, but HOT THORIN IS MY KING AND NOTHING YOU CAN SAY WILL CHANGE THAT. Sorry that got heated.

silver price once again tries too hard to pretend he’s people by rambling about something just slightly off-topic:

‘Return of the King’ is the most enjoyable because in the structure of the movies, it is nothing other than pay-off, there is no more setting up to do, no more exposition, no more introducing characters. The pay-off is very character-based. It is action-orientated as well, but all of our characters have been pushed to a point where their life and death depends on what happens in the third movie. It is very emotional, and from an actors point of view it is very enjoyable to work on, because they were able to play some pretty intense drama. From my point of view it was always great, because we were heading toward an ending, a climax which we never had in the other two.

I agree with you, silver price, although Return of the King had the one drawback of finally turning Viggo Mortensen’s permastubble into a full-fledged beard, an act I can never forgive. I still mourn for you, dirty, stubbly Aragorn. Where did you go?

When I asked Can You See This:

Nacci responded:

Death thru Adams sin is not punishment it is simply the result. Thru free will then we have to the choiceď to accept or refuse Gods free offer of salvation. God is allowing lucifer to run his best game plan so he can defeat him “honorably” Punishment follows. If there were no death what would we have? Were there no reward or punishment, what would justify anything? I simply try to follow Christ and not fry my brain trying to figure out all the deep secrets of God. We will know one day.

Nacci, are you saying that I should stop trying to fix my Internet because it’s one of the “deep secrets of God”? So was replacing my wireless card like opening the Ark of the Covenant? Why is my face still unmelted? Maybe you’ll say that Indiana Jones isn’t religious canon, but to that I would respond that I can’t take life advice from anyone who doesn’t know what an apostrophe is.

And, weirdest comment of the month goes to jackets on my 2012 Booklist: The Good post:

The testicles remain, so unlike a castrated ram the teaser ram still produces male hormones. He acts and reacts like a normal ram. Ugh. The builders obviously went way past the inherent limits of their building algorithms.. People who buy used clothing online usually look for designer items first. Familiarize yourself with the going rates of both brand new and used designer goods.

I don’t even know what to say, jackets.

Thanks for a great year, spambots! See you in 2013!

Previously: November

2012 Bonus Book List: The Pretty

I felt kind of bad looking through my Goodreads account just for bad covers when there were so many nice ones this year too, so I thought I would show you those too:

A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis by David M. Friedman

Is this not just the PERFECT cover design for this subject? From the fancy olde timey guy to the placement of the O. Awesome.

Snuff by Sir Terry Pratchett

His ship is sinking and he still has a cigar in his mouth. I love it.

Between Two Ends by David Ward

I read this book solely because the cover was so cool looking! I ended up giving it only two stars. It was alright, but didn’t live up to the hype of its cover.

The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy

The illustrations in this one in general were really detailed and good. The cover also continues around to the back, which I like.

The Invisible Gorilla by Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons

Non-fiction books seemed to have impressed me more in general this year, especially in the cover department. Maybe I expect less.

Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendare Blake

Creeeeeepy

Kat, Incorrigible by Stephanie Burgis

This is another book like Jane Austen except everyone has magic, this time for middle grades. I think the cover fits the tone pretty perfectly.

Leftovers by Tom Perrotta

One day a bunch of people all over the world just disappear, and those that are left wonder what the heck happened. Thought it would be a Left Behind knockoff, but actually wasn’t religious at all.

Excited to start reading in 2013!

The Good
2012: The Bad
2012: The Ugly

2012 Book List: The Ugly

One of my favorite times of year!! The time when I look back at all the books I read and judge them shamelessly by their covers!! Some of these will be familiar from The Good and The Bad lists, because ugliness isn’t an indicator of quality.

Reluctantly Alice by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

I read this whole series this year, and a lot of them were published in the 80s and 90s, which were like the golden years for terrible children’s book covers like this where they went for illustrating a scene in the book. Just so we’re clear, that’s the middle school bully trying to beat her up, not a cross-country trucker.

Alice on the Outside by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Even when Alice is in a sexy situation instead of a scary one, it’s just as awk and ugly.

Flamingo Rising by Larry Baker

This book was on my Good list, but I really think they could have designed a better cover. The book is full of really cool visuals! He lives at a drive-in movie theater with a neon sign the size of a building, come on.

Virgin Vegan Valentine by Carolyn Mackler

I feel awkward staring at this girls chest in her boring tank top.

Things I’ve Learned From Girls Who Dumped Me

This cover is okay, but the book was pretty funny, so I wish it was better.

Outrageously Alice by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Alice is invited to a lingerie-themed bridal shower. I know, I was disappointed too

Never Sit Down In a Hoop Skirt and Other Things I Learned in Southern Belle Hell by Crickett Rumley

I’ve fallen down in a hoop skirt before, and that is not what it looks like.

Love*Com Volume 3 by Aya Nakahara

AH GOBLINS!

The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler

I actually really like this concept: two 90s kids get magical access to their future facebook profiles and then try to change their lives to “fix” what they see.

The Agony of Alice by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

That is bad-acting mopey, AT BEST. I was promised agony.

Heavenly Hijinks by Ashley Ladd

I almost didn’t put this on here, because it does get you perfectly prepared for what you are about to read. But, come on, he’s a sexy lion man.

The Good
2012: The Bad
2012 Bonus: The Pretty

2012 Book List: The Bad

Merry Christmas! I’m writing this from the past! Ooooh!

I don’t have as many books on my The Bad list as last year, maybe because James and I kind of fell behind at our book club.

Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James

If I try to succinctly tell you how much I hated this book, it will just be a scream of inarticulate rage, so you should probably just check out my tumblr on the subject. The writing? The plotting? The characters? The terrible gender dynamics? All will be mocked in time. But even updating two or three times a day, it’s still going to take a while to get out all my hate on this subject.

Fifty Shades Darker by E. L. James

Blah blah blah self-insert Twilight fanfic

Fifty Shades Freed by E. L. James

Reading this was hard because I knew that some people weren’t immediately repulsed by Christian Grey and the way his internal monologue is indistinguishable from a serial killer’s. That’s probably why my response was to hate-vomit all over tumblr.

We’ll Be Here for the Rest of Our Lives by Paul Shaffer

We talked about why this one sucked before–still don’t want to ban it, though.

Boyfriends with Girlfriends by Alex Sanchez

This book had good intentions, about showcasing different types of relationships and navigating the dating scene when you’re not sure about your sexuality. Too bad every page was just a conversation pulled straight from a handbook about How To Talk To Troubled Teens.

Heavenly Hijinks by Ashley Ladd

The constellation Leo takes human form to seduce a hot lady psychic. You can pretty much judge everything about this book by its cover.

I either read fewer terrible books this year, or just got less picky.

The Good
2012: The Ugly
2012 Bonus: The Pretty

2012 Book List: The Good

According to my GoodReads account, I’ve read 106 books so far in 2012, and 32,422 pages. That’s about half of last year which makes me a little sad.

Part of me thinks I must have forgotten to record some, but I guess we’ll never know

Anyway, since it was a lot of fun last year to look back through, I thought I would give you a run down of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly again. These books all got five stars from me this year:

The Monstrumologist by Rick Yancey

This series were my three favorite books I read this year. I read each in a day because I couldn’t stop, and then read them to Steven in another three days because he couldn’t either. It’s historical horror with a gruesome, gothic feel and characters that are too real. Will Henry is a young assistant to the world’s greatest monstrumologist, Dr. Pellinore Warthrop, who’s also an incredibly egotistical, selfish pain to deal with. You can think of him as a monster hunter, though he would insist that he’s a scientist and give you a lecture about the difference. He and Will Henry have such a fierce love/hate relationship, bound by guilt and life debts, and everytime I think about how I have to wait till next September till the fourth (and last?) book in this series I start to hyperventilate a little. WILL HENRYYYYYYYYY, I need you right now.

Anyway, in this, the first book, Will Henry and Dr. Warthrop attempt to save their town from vicious, blood thirsty anthropophagi, humanoid monsters with no heads and mouths in their stomachs.

The Curse of the Wendigo (Monstrumologist Book 2) by Rick Yancey

Will Henry and Dr. Warthrop travel from the far off wastes of Canada to the bustling metropolis of New York to save a colleague and old friend of Warthrop’s from the wendigo, a ravenous ghost vampire monster which the Doctor insists isn’t really, because that would be silly.

The Isle of Blood (Monstrumologist Book 3) by Rick Yancey

Shit gets real when Dr. Warthrop leaves Will Henry behind to hunt the holy grail of monsters. Of course, he regrets it AS HE SHOULD, and Will Henry is forced to rescue him from an insane asylum, and then accompany him to Socotra, the Isle of Blood, where shit gets even more real. This book contains a cameo from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and is simultaneously the saddest and most badass bildungsroman ever. I loved it so much that, when I finished it, I just lay face down on the floor of Steven’s office silently shrieking into the carpet. He ignored me because he’s used to me. Seriously, you should read this series if you like things that are well-written and exciting and also slightly terrifying.

Part of me wants to just end this entry right here because NOTHING EVEN COMES CLOSE TO YOU, WILL HENRY. But I’ll go on, since Goodreads as yet provides no rating for “THE BEST THING” so you’re stuck in the same category with these fools for now:

Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendare Blake

Speaking of creepy, try having this on your nightstand for a week. It’s about a teen ghost hunter who literally kills ghosts with a freaky mystical knife.
Read the rest of this entry »

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