2017: The Pretty

What’s my favorite cover from a book I read in 2017? It’s a close race, but the winner is:

prettythelietree
The Lie Tree by Frances Hardinge

It is the perfect mix of creepy and curiosity-inducing.Here are the runner’s up:

goodlumberjanes
^Lumberjanes: Unicorn Power! by Mariko Tamaki

goodmeddling
^Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero

prettyconvergence
Convergence by Sharon Green

This one is on here kind of nostalgically because the cover is the only reason I bought it in a used book store as a teen. Otherwise I would never have read this terrible, terrible series.

goodwitch
^How to Hang a Witch by Adriana Mather

prettyjuliet
Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera

prettyexorcism
My Best Friend’s Exorcism by Grady Hendrix

prettypopular
Popular: Vintage Wisdom for a Modern Geek by Maya Van Wagenen

prettylumberjanes
Lumberjanes Volume 6: Sink or Swim by Shannon Watters

goodhark
^Hark! A Vagrant by Kate Beaton

goodiceghosts
^Ice Ghosts: The Epic Hunt for the Lost Franklin Expedition by Paul Watson

prettypagesbetween
The Pages Between Us by Lindsey Leavitt

prettyhygge
The Little Book of Hygge: The Danish Way to Live Well by Meik Wiking

goodnotquitestates
^The Not-Quite States of America: Dispatches from the Territories and Other Far-Flung Outposts of the USA by Doug Mack

Previously: 2017 The Ugly

2017: The Ugly

What was the book with the worst cover I read this year? Behold:

uglyredriver
Red River vol 1 by Chie Shinohara
It’s a manga about a girl who travels through time to Ancient Egypt. I checked it out because the cover made me laugh. Other bad ones include:

uglycollege
A College of Magics by Caroline Stevermer
So 80s right now!

uglywit
The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld by Terry Pratchett
This could be a lot more exciting. It’s Discworld!

badstrange
*The Strange Library by Haruki Murakami
As wtf as the book itself, so I guess that’s apt

uglyflame
Flame in the Mist by Renee Ahdieh
I hesitated to put this on here, because it’s not exactly bad, just unsuited to the subject of the book. The cover makes it seem like it’s going to be your teen fantasy Twilight knockoff, when in reality it’s a badass historical fantasy set in feudal Japan about a noble girl solving her own attempted murder with the help of feudal Japanese Robin Hood.

uglysilver
Silver Borne by Patricia Briggs
The Mercy Thompson series all have horrible covers that really seem to want to turn off the actual target audience of the book? Like, she has none of these tattoos and is usually wearing sweatpants and covered in motor oil in the actual narrative.

uglybone
^Bone Crossed by Patricia Briggs
Also, notice how they give her feathered earrings so you know HEY THIS MAIN CHARACTER IS NATIVE AMERICAN

uglyiron
^Iron Kissed by Patricia Briggs
I swear this book is not about butts.

uglyblood
^Blood Bound by Patricia Briggs
Yes, because mechanics and monster hunters both routinely work in just a bra.

goodmooncalled
^Moon Called by Patricia Briggs
What the hell

uglypast
Past Midnight by Mara Purnhagen
I feel like I could have designed a better cover than this

badsexy
*Sexy Beast II by Kate Douglas
I mean, it’s hideous but I also kind of love it

uglylife
Life after Life by Jill McCorkle
Another blah entry

uglytwilight
Bringing Light to Twilight: Perspectives on a Pop Culture Phenomenon by Giselle Liza Anatol
We can do better than this

uglyfate
The Fate of the Tearling by Erika Johansen
I find this cover bizarrely bright and gaudy for the dark horror that is this book.

goodgemina
^Gemina by Amie Kaufman
I think this is here because I freakin love this book, but the cover just isn’t selling it like it should

Next: 2017: The Pretty
Previously: 2017: The Bad

2017: The Bad

And now for the worst books I read in 2017. These are the ones I rated only 1 star on GoodReads (you can’t rate 0). Surprisingly, there are only 6 this year, which I guess means I was either better at picking books or was in a more generous spirit this year. And the very worst of them was:

badbites
Love Bites by Angela Knight
I got this in the Romance Novel of the Month subscription box I had for a while. The back cover promises a tale of VAMPIRE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE, which is such an amazing concept, I think my hopes were way too high. First of all, it is not a historical fantasy that posits King Arthur and his knights were actually vampires. It takes place in the present day, with King Arthur and his knights still alive, and hanging out mostly in some alternate vampire dimension with their paired off lady vampires who can also do magic. And for a book about vampires… NO ONE GETS BITTEN. So disappoint.

badblending
Competitions by Sharon Green
I have no idea why this whole series isn’t on here, because I read three of them this year and they all really sucked. The writing is clunky, the plotting slow and ridiculous, the main characters are all super attractive perfect Mary Sues, and their Captain Planet powers somehow manage to still be lame.

badstrange
The Strange Library by Haruki Murakami
I’m willing to admit that I am probably wrong about this book. But I didn’t get it. A boy is trapped in a library by some kind of evil librarian that wants to eat him. He escapes with the help of his guard and a sort of ghost girl. The end, nothing is explained.

badthosesecretswekeep
Those Secrets We Keep by Emily Liebert
This book promised to be about female friendships and DARK SECRETS, but it was more about bad writing and hateable characters.

badsexy
Sexy Beast II by Kate Douglas
Another acquisition from the romance novel of the month box. Of course it was bad. Sadly it was not about some kind of sexy Tarzan despite the cover.

badunenchanted
Unenchanted by Chanda Hahn
The main character of this book is a teen girl descended from one of the Brothers Grimm, cursed to live out fairy tales one by one until she either gets killed by them or breaks the spell. An okay premise, but executed pretty badly. Her school goes on a field trip to AN EVIL BAKERY.

Next: 2017 The Ugly
Previously: 2017 The Good

2017: The Good

Time to look back on everything I read this year with The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly! According to GoodReads, I read 116 books in 2017. That’s 38,385 pages! As always, The Good list is everything I rated as 5 stars. After some deliberation, I decided that my favorite book I read was:

goodmeddling
Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero
This book is basically Scooby Doo, the gritty reboot. None of the gang has really gotten over their last case, where they were trapped for the night in a haunted mansion on a small island in the middle of their town’s lake. Was the dude in a mask really the culprit? Or was something else going on there? Years later, it’s time to get the gang back together and find out! But Peter, the handsome jock, has been dead for years, ending his promising Hollywood career with suicide, probably from unresolved PTSD. The other members of the gang haven’t exactly had promising careers either. Andy, the tomboy, is a drifter who’s in and out of jail. Kerri, the girl genius, is working dead end jobs and fostering Tim, the grandson of the original canine member of the team. Nate, meanwhile, is in an insane asylum. Besides being full of fun callbacks to Scooby Doo, Nancy Drew, and the Hardy Boys, this book is really well-written and legit terrifying in parts. Plus I got to live my Velma/Daphne ship dreams.

goodnotquitestates
The Not-Quite States of America: Dispatches from the Territories and Other Far-Flung Outposts of the USA by Doug Mack
This book was a close second for favorite read of this year. The author travels to all the US territories (American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, the Northern Mariana Islands, and the US Virgin Islands) and writes about both their history and what life is like there now. It’s shocking to me that these places are part of the United States but I never learned anything about them in school. I’d never even heard of the Northern Mariana Islands. Their political situation is murky, at best, as became tragically clear to me a few months after I finished this book and the entire country basically looked on like it was someone else’s problem as Puerto Rico died. We wouldn’t have let that happen to New York or Idaho, but those places are states. The strange limbo of the US territories has never been more cruelly illustrated. So, I learned a lot, but Doug Mack’s writing style is really engaging and interesting. His travel stories were often funny and always interesting. I recommend this book to everyone.

goodtrouble
Trouble is a Friend of Mine and Trouble Makes a Comeback by Stephanie Tromly
These books reminded me of teen Dirk Gently so I rated them probably higher than they deserve.

goodnasty
Nasty Women: Feminism, Resistance, and Revolution in Trump’s America
This book is composed of essays by different authors, which is good because I had to read it in short bursts, otherwise I would get overwhelmed by sadness and rage, which has been happening a lot more to me in general lately, obviously. Still, an important and informative read, especially for anyone interested in intersectional feminism (which should be everybody, come on) who doesn’t necessarily have a feminist theory background–the language is engaging and approachable.

goodlumberjanes
Lumberjanes: Unicorn Power! by Mariko Tamaki
Lumberjanes in chapter book form! In this episode of my favorite badass girl scouts, the Lumberjanes discover unicorns, cloud people, and Lumberjanes of the past. It was kind of weird reading a narrative that I’m used to experiencing in comic form, but all the characters stayed true to themselves and I got some neat backstory on all of the main characters.

goodwitch
How to Hang a Witch by Adriana Mather
I read this in October to get read for Halloween! It was about a teen girl descended from Cotton Mather (of Salem Witch persecution fame) who moves back to Salem where, surprise, her family’s history is still very much alive in the form of ghosts, curses, and a clique of witch-descendants who are maybe out for revenge?

goodhark
Hark! A Vagrant by Kate Beaton
This collection of Kate Beaton’s comics was definitely worth the purchase price!

goodorigins
Origins of the Specious: Myths and Misconceptions of the English Language by Patricia T. O’Conner
I read this book as part of my book club’s “read a book by an author with the same name as you” initiative. It was interesting, although I unfortunately don’t remember any fun facts from it.

goodnight
Moon Called, Blood Bound, Iron Kissed, Bone Crossed, River Marked and Night Broken by Patricia Briggs
Also as part of my book club’s “authors with your name” initiative, I ended up reading the entire Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs. The covers have always turned me off before, but this series is actually totally badass. Mercy Thompson is a car mechanic who can turn into a coyote. The world is on the cusp of learning the truth about the fey, werewolves, vampires, and other things that have always remained hidden, and probably the most interesting part of Mercy’s adventures is the interaction between various aspects of the normal world (the government, the media, religion) with these fantasy creatures as they become aware of their existence. Plus Mercy’s a badass who can see ghosts. And there’s a vampire mafia! And werewolf feminism!

goodhidden
Our Hidden Lives: The Remarkable Diaries or Post-War Britain by Simon Garfield
Apparently there was a government initiative in the 1940s onward in Britain where people would keep diaries of their daily lives and send them off for “study” to some office. This book is excerpts from the diaries of a few of the diarists. The details of their lives as World War II came to an end were really interesting from a historical standpoint–dealing with air raids, rationing, soldiers coming home, starting “normal” life again. Also, their regular experiences could be hilarious or heartbreaking. I love diary formats anyway.

goodiceghosts
Ice Ghosts: The Epic Hunt for the Lost Franklin Expedition by Paul Watson
I am a sucker for polar exploration, y’all. This book is about the lost Franklin Expedition to find the Northwest Passage north of Canada, and also the search for its remains, which spanned two centuries. I learned a lot about 19th century exploration but also the Canadian government’s historical treatment of its Inuit citizens, which ended up being a major aspect of finding the wrecks of the Franklin Expedition’s ships. They probably could have been found before 2014 if any of the earlier searches had bothered to pay attention to the Inuit communities who regularly hunted in the area the ships went missing.

goodwoods
Through the Woods by Emily Carroll
This book is a collection of short horror stories in comic form by Emily Carroll. It’s basically Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark for adults, and just as viscerally terrifying.

goodgemina
Gemina by Amie Kaufman
This book is the sequel to Illuminae, and just as awesome! Another epistolary sci-fi novel set in deep space with badass teen characters who have to fight to save their space station from a marauding mercenary crew, the self-destruct sequence, and an escaped deadly parasite. Plus, the characters from the first novel show up towards the end so YAY REUNION!

goodinvasionofthetearling
The Invasion of the Tearling and The Queen of the Tearling by Erika Johansen
These sci-fi/fantasy novels take place in a magical fantasy realm that is also humanity’s distant future (past? time travel, dawg). I liked the beginning of the series, when it was political intrigue and assassination plots.

goodliar
Liar, Temptress, Soldier, Spy: Four Women Undercover in the Civil War by Karen Abbott
This non-fiction book follows the lives of four different women during the Civil War who acted as spies. The most badass was probably a woman who escaped her abusive home life by dressing as a dude and enlisting. She was never caught, but was often sent on spy missions because she was so good at “posing” as a woman. Go girl.

Next: 2017: The Bad
Previously: 2016: The Good

Beginner’s Guide to Soap Making

I kiind of cheaped out in November and just bought a soap-making kit. That obviously made it way easier, but I also think maybe I missed out on key parts of the experience? Here’s what it gave you:

The sponge was not part of the process, it turns out

The sponge was not part of the process, it turns out

Blank white soap, red dye, some scents, some apricot seeds, a mold, and a random loofah. From looking around on the internet, lots of the blogs that are into soap-making also start with the blank white (or clear) soap cubes and the “art” happens when you dye it, layer it, scent it etc. I get that this is more fun and creative than actually making soap from… wood ash and lye(??? this is just a guess), but also seems like kind of a cop out to me? I don’t know, you know how I feel about pie, so maybe this is just a personal issue.

Melted soap base

Melted soap base

Anyway, the kit had pretty clear instructions. You heat up the soap blanks in the microwave to melt them, stir in any scent, dye, and/or other add-ins like the apricot seeds, then pour it into the mold. Then it hardens at room temperature and you’re good to soap.

It would start to harden pretty quickly

It would start to harden pretty quickly

Different concentrations of dye

Different concentrations of dye

The soap on the bottom right was the last one I made, where I just decided to use as much of the red dye as possible to see if it would ever come out BLOOD RED instead of pink. The answer is apparently no. Also, getting them out of the molds was kind of an annoying process. The mold was a brittle plastic, so I won’t be able to use that again.

They're pretty, though

They’re pretty, though

I will probably not be pursuing this craft further.

Last Month: Cake Decorating
Next Month: ????

Beginner’s Guide to Cake Decorating

I’m good at baking, but bad at decorating, so it’s been pointed out to me before (by Steven) that my cupcakes and cakes tend to look like they were made by a child. WELL THIS CHILD JUST TOOK A CLASS IN CAKE DECORATING FOOL. Online, but still.

To test out my new skills, I decided to try out all my different piping tips on a batch of cupcakes:
20171017_162616

I also made a Halloween cake for my book club (this maaay have been back in October, whatever).

Much neater and flatter than I usually manage.

Much neater and flatter than I usually manage.

Inside it's Halloween funfetti

Inside it’s Halloween funfetti

Previously: Pole Dancing
Next: Soap Making

2017 Goals: Almost There!

Now that we’re 75% done with 2017, it’s time to see if I’m 75% done with my goals for the year.

1. Write a Beginners’ Guide Once A Month: 75%
Right on schedule:

July: Candy Making
August: Free Motion Quilting
September: Pole Dancing

I’m not sure when (if ever) I’ll do any of these again. All three were way hard and require a lot of practice to get competent at. But I’m glad I tried all of them!

2. Sew Something Once a Month: 67%

In July I made this quilted journal cover in my quilting class:

New skills!

New skills!

In August I made this Halloween wall hanging:

Still have not found a proper wall for this masterpiece

Still have not found a proper wall for this masterpiece

In September I made this ugly quilt for an ugly quilt contest:

I'm not saying I'm going to win, but I am saying I'm the only one who used faux fur

I’m not saying I’m going to win, but I am saying I’m the only one who used faux fur

3. Write in my journal once a week: 75%

I’ve been writing every day since I got into bullet journaling!

4. Make one new recipe every week: 63%

I am doing way better at this goal than I thought I would be, even though I have missed out some weeks.

3 seed bread

3 seed bread

Sugar cookies with a tea glaze

Sugar cookies with a tea glaze

Pumpkin oatmeal chocolate chip cookies

Pumpkin oatmeal chocolate chip cookies

5. Keep my nails painted for 30 days: 100%

You already know about this.

6. Finish a coloring book: 100%

Ah yes, my life’s greatest accomplishment

7. Be active every day: 42%
In September I started going back to my aerobics class, so that should give me a little bump in this statistic. Also I only counted that pole dancing class as one day, even though it felt like a week.

Total: 74.5%

I CAN DO IT

igotthis

Previously: 2017 Halfway

Beginner’s Guide to Pole Dancing

YES! FINALLY! I have been wanting to try a pole dancing class since I moved to Cary and found out my closest gym was a pole dancing one. One of my penpals does it and described it as “like swinging around the jungle gym as a kid except in high heels”. I had pretty much no faith in my strength or coordination but I knew I could count on a serious workout and having fun swinging around like an idiot! I accomplished both things.

To get pumped, I watched some “beginner” videos on youtube. There’s a reason I write the word in quotes because damn. Still, pole dancing is beautiful and hardcore as shit so I enjoyed watching the videos even if I knew I would never be able to do some of those moves. Esp after just an hour lesson!

My friend Alex agreed to go with me. She actually has ballet experience so she was much more poised and less floppy than my flailing self, but I like to think I made up the difference in sheer ENTHUSIASM.

GO TEAM

GO TEAM

We learned about five moves in all, and there was only one of them I could accomplish semi-gracefully: the pirouette. Surprise, it’s the only one that doesn’t require you to be able to support your body weight with just your arms.

Naturally my arms were HELLA sore for like three days after, but my legs were a little too because, surprise, pole dancing happens all on the balls of your feet and since I never wear heels, those muscles are not used to doing so much work. For this class we were barefoot, but when you move up the ~pole dancing ranks~ you do wear heels while doing it.

I decided I’m probably not going to invest the time and effort to get good at this, but it was fun to try. And it inspired me to go up a level in my usual weight-lifting because my arms are even less competent than I thought.

Previously: Free motion quilting
Next: ??? Email me your ideas

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