goddess girls | The Plaid Pladd Blog

Goddess Girls: Artemis the Brave

February 7th, 2012 by pladd

Steven and I are speeding through this Goddess Girls series (probably because it was written for 12-year-olds)!! This week we read Book 4, Artemis the Brave! Artemis is a much shyer, less ridiculous main character than Aphrodite, so she was less entertaining.

Summary of Amazingness
By Patricia
A cute but arrogant boy named Orion has transferred to Mt. Olympus Academy!! Just like Artemis, he really likes dogs, but he barely has any time for his because he’s too busy scheming to become a star on the stage! After cheating his way into the lead in the school play, Orion pisses everyone off by being such a self-centered jerk, except Artemis who thinks he’s just misunderstood. But when he steals her magical silver arrows to win the school archery contest, she has had ENOUGH and gives up her crush, apologizing to her brother and friends for blowing them all off. Orion ends up bailing on the play, but then comes back at the last minute and Zeus lets him play the part of the “stars” by taping lights to him and hanging him from the ceiling. Get it?? GET IT???

You had no idea Greek mythology had so many puns, did you?

Faithfulness to Original Mythos
By Steven
This one got a lot more metaphorical with any reference to the original myths. So Orion enters the story as a possible love interest for Artemis, but ends up as a star. That much is shared by both the book and the myth, but at any level more detailed than that it breaks down considerably. Orion does get the rivalry of Apollo, but doesn’t have his mythic prowess with the bow. He does face the Scorpion, but isn’t killed and Artemis intervenes rather than being on the scorpion’s side. He does have Sirius, his canine companion and familiar star, but he isn’t shot in the end by Artemis, though she does leave him to his fate. Apollo’s failed romance with Daphne shows up as well, albeit without her turning into a tree. Apart from that, the rest is just cameos by familiar characters and monsters, like Geryon and Echidna.

Typical middle school relationship drama

Tween Girl Life Lessons
By Patricia
1) If your friends think your new crush is a jerk, he probably is
2) Don’t let a guy take over your life–you still have time for archery practice!
3) Bravery is about doing something despite your fear!
4) Theater geeks ruin everything

Well, they do

Patricia’s Favorites!!!
Character: Pandora!! The text describes her as having “blue and gold bangs shaped like a question mark because she’s so curious”. How do you shape your bangs like a question mark???
Part: Orion is mortal but wants to sparkle like the gods, so he buys shimmering body glitter called “Godbod” and slathers it on himself constantly.
Thing I Learned: Athena’s mom is a fly that lives inside Zeus’ head. No more explanation is given.

Seems legit

Steven’s Favorites
Character: Ms. ThreeGraces. Combining the Charites into a single Beauty-ology teacher is only too appropriate.
Part: The archery; apparently you have to train your arrows beforehand for them to work correctly?
Thing I Learned: Apparently you can go from being the dragon guardian of the Garden of the Hesperides to being a crafty Beast-ology teacher. The Greeks gods clearly knew a thing or two about lateral job mobility.

Next Time: Aphrodite the Diva!!
Previously: Aphrodite the Beauty

Or read them in order: Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Book 4, Book 5, Book 6

Tagged: Book Reviews, goddess girls, Middle School, Steven

Posted in Book Reviews |

Goddess Girls: Aphrodite the Beauty

January 31st, 2012 by pladd

Middle School Book Reports just got a whole lot more awesome because I have successfully connived Steven Wiggins into helping me!!! I’m sure he wouldn’t have agreed if the book series in question wasn’t all about different Greco-Roman gods and goddesses in middle school! It’s called Goddess Girls by Joan Holub and Suzanne Williams! Clearly Steven wanted to be the first classics major to really make a close study of this groundbreaking new text in the field.

You can tell he's secretly enjoying himself

Props to Caitlin for convincing me to read all of these!! Well, she mainly just posted a link to it on my facebook wall, clearly well aware that I require almost no convincing to read ridiculous tween book series based somehow on really violent and sexually explicit ancient source material! Of course I immediately checked out as many as the library had available. Therefore I’m not reading them in any order–this one is actually book 3–but they each seem to be a separate story so Steven and I were not completely bewildered. Well, Steven was, but that was mostly about the term “godboy”.

I can't be the only one weirded out by her gigantic insect eyes, right?

Summary of Amazingness
By Patricia
Aphrodite decides to give her frumpy friend Athena a makeover!! But then gets super jealous when school hottie Ares, her secret crush, starts paying more attention to her friend! Plus, Hephaestus, a sweet but ugly boy keeps sending her flowers and gifts to woo her and making everyone gossip about how they’re an item when everyone knows Aphrodite has got STANDARDS, you guys. Everyone learns a lesson about true love and being honest by helping Hippomenes trick his way into Atalanta’s arms, and Athena reveals that sleazy Ares just wanted her advice on how to get a city named after him. Then Aphrodite sets Hephaestus up with some other nerdy chick and everyone lives happily ever after.

Thetis is all like "Make me some armor for my son or I'll stuff you into a locker, NERD"

Faithfulness to Original Mythos
By Steven
Okay, so firstly let’s ignore the whole middle school metaphor thing. Or that in this continuity the instructors (Principal Zeus, Mr. Cyclops, et al.) are supposed to be >= 1 generation in age and stature above the students (Athena, Atlas, Pandora, etc.). The characters mentioned are all more or less representative of their Greek originals–with the juicy bits left out–and there were a few standouts outside the normal range of the Pantheon. Props to the author for including not just Medusa, but also her sisters Euryale and Stheno, and double props for providing Ares the posse of Kydoimos (confusion in battle) and Makhai (spirits of battle), even though none of the above are really provided any back story. Small mistake in making Makhai singular (it refers to the brethren of spirits associated with battle, including Kydoimos) but otherwise pretty accurate. The Atalanta story is pretty spot on and Hephaestus’ loss of Aphrodite to Ares and subsequent matchup with Agleia is quasi-accurate as well, if missing the whole sex-in-a-net thing. Small demerit (or prop? I can’t decide) for “Arachne’s Sewing Supplies” in the Immortal Market, where Athena goes for yarn and needles; isn’t that sort of bad taste on Athena’s part? Four out of five stars for accuracy, the fifth being that I can’t get over this middle school metaphor! And the term “godboy”, of course.

Tween Girl Life Lessons
By Patricia
1) Every girl is super hot if you just restyle her hair and slather on enough makeup!
2) If you don’t like the way your friends look, just change them!
3) Beauty-ology is a completely serious class that you need to study; Athena, as a nerd, is completely failing!
4) If someone’s not hot enough to be your BF (and it’s totally okay to judge them on their looks or disabilities, btws) just string them along for awhile until you can set them up with someone more their scene

Patricia’s Favorites!!!
Character: Medusa! Her snake hair is fab and she’s fatally dangerous to all mortal students at the school, but no one seems worried about that? Plus, she thinks “Bubbles” is an appropriately mean-spirited nickname for the Goddess of Love.
Part: Anytime anyone says a spell. Example: “Blow wind, blow. Off you go. Deliver this message, and don’t be slow.” Even Ron Weasley wouldn’t have trouble with that one!
Thing I Learned: I didn’t know that Hephaestus got married after his divorce from Aphrodite (in the book represented by him going over to talk to some other girl in the cafeteria)! Which is cool because I always felt bad for him before.

Her hair's so big because it's full of SECRETS. And snakes.

Steven’s Favorites
Character: The sentient makeup brush, hands down. Goodbye Pantheon, hello Beauty and the Beast! Pheme (goddess of Fame but also vicious rumor) gets a mention, too, if only for being written closest to her original form.
Part: The Immortal Marketplace: Arachne’s Sewing Supplies and Cleo’s (Cleopatra?) Cosmetics for the girls and Arts of Warfare for the boys.
Thing I Learned: I learned that adding “-ology” to any term immediately makes it an Immortal class subject. I’m now shooting for “Mortal-ology,” hopefully this series’ answer to HP’s “Muggle Studies.”

Goddess Girls Glossary of Ridiculous Terms
textscroll–like a textbook, but a scroll! Comes in colors
scrollizine–a magazine! Useful for getting makeover inspiration
godboy–the boy equivalent of a “goddessgirl”
lyrebell–how you tell when to change classes!
hero-ology
beauty-ology
craft-ology
beast-ology
metal-ology

Next Time: Artemis the Brave!!

Or read them in order: Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, Book 4, Book 5, Book 6

Tagged: Book Reviews, books, goddess girls, Middle School, Steven

Posted in Book Reviews |

Pinkie Pie and the Rockin’ Ponypalooza Party!

December 28th, 2015 by pladd

It has been SO LONG since we’ve had a Middle School Book Report!!! In the spirit of Goddess Girls, Steven and I decided to start a new series of tween girl books that speak to both our expertises’. Namely:

It’s going to be great.

Summary of Amazingness
By Patricia
In the middle of one of Pinkie Pie’s awesome parties, her way-less-enthusiastic family shows up wanting to see Princess Twilight. They’re in dire need of royal help because the family rock farm is going under! Pinkie Pie immediately suggests throwing a big rock concert to remind everyone how great rocks are, but her pony-Mennonite family are sick of her frivolous suggestions and tell her to get serious. So her friends try to plan a party without her while Pinkie Pie paints her room brown and tries to schedule business meetings. Eventually her family sees she is miserable and apologizes, and the Ponypalooza is a huge success, somehow making people order more gravel and bricks. Yay!

Igneous Rock: Pony Mennonite

Analysis within MLP Canon and Fanon
By Steven
So let’s start with one thing; I have no idea what the Word of God is on the canonicity of this series, but I kind of want for it to be canon as written, and here is just one reason why: “Nine Inch Tails.” That’s not to mention a number of other ponified bands, but it does at least introduce something other than saccharine-sweet pop and quasi-country into canon (note: this was published in 2013, before the introduction of Countess Coloratura a.k.a. MLP Lady Gaga). For this book, though, apart from the fun little references like those, there’s really nothing noticeably out of canon. Pinkie is Pinkie, except when she’s Pinkamena, the Pie clan are basically American Gothic in pony form, the Mane 6 do their thing, and parties get thrown. It basically qualified as a standard slice of life episode without pushing any canon boundaries, save perhaps one; Igneous and Cloudy Quartz (Pinkie’s parents) have perfectly normal, if slightly stilted, speech patterns, despite the show’s canon (and a large slice of common fanon) depicting them as using archaic English forms (as of S05E20). All things considered, that gets a pass.

Pony Lady Gaga

Patricia’s Favorites
Character: Pinkie Pie’s pet alligator, Gummy, who does nothing except blink occasionally
Part: All the bands that play at Ponypalooza: Coldhay, John Mare, The Whooves, and Neigh-Z
Thing I Learned: Sales of gravel are directly related to rock concert attendance

Steven’s Favorites
Character: Pinkie Pie, for equipping the Cutie Mark Crusaders with spring-loaded shoes. That’s something that would get you on a watchlist in any other nation.
Part: Ditto the bands. That was cute.
Thing I Learned: That either gems are dirt cheap or else Equestria is an economic powerhouse, allowing random citizens to upgrade their driveways with bling. Now I want an amethyst car park. Also that apparently major headliner bands will do a concert for free if you know them well enough?

I mean, let’s face it; they’re Ponyville’s resident terrorists

Tagged: Book Reviews, my little pony, Steven

Posted in Book Reviews |

Happy 4th Birthday!!!!!

March 18th, 2013 by pladd

Today this blog is 4 years old! Which is basically middle aged in Internet years! I’m really surprised and pleased that something that started as an innocent suggestion from a tearful list serv rep could last this long! To celebrate, I made these amazing cupcakes!!

As adorable as they are delicious!! Happy birthday, blog!!

Also, here is the blog version of a clipshow:

The Best of the Plaid Pladd

Roadtrip: The Epic Journey, May-June 2009

Weirdly Steven and I never got a photo together that whole month, so here are Trixie and I intimidating a buffalo

The roadtrip posts are still some of my favorites ever, possibly because they are the most legitimately exciting thing that has happened since this blog began. I particularly like when we were still dedicated enough to take videos in the early days of the trip, even if they were about pecans. Not only did we get some great pictures and have some great adventures, but I confirmed that I could spend 8000 miles and 21 days with Steven Wiggins without either of us abandoning the other in Montana.

He’s a good guy

That Time A Goddess Girls Author Commented On My Blog, June 2012

I’m actually a big fan of all of Steven and my joint book reviews about this tween girl greek mythology series, and I think Steven likes reading them too, despite all of his grumbling to the contrary.

Someone could learn a lesson from Medusa

My evidence for this is that yesterday we were driving somewhere and he asked, “So when does the next Goddess Girls book come out?” You asked for it, Steven, I am #3 on the hold list.

I start owning being man-footed, December 2011

I don’t write serious posts very often, and, before this one, I’d never really thought about how much anxiety I had tied up in my big shoe size. It still stands out to me as one of my favorite posts I’ve ever written, maybe because of the way it made me feel more than the words themselves.

Also, this picture is really great

Every Chocovine Challenge

We’ve had 4 Chocovine challenges so far (Original, Raspberry, Espresso, and Whipped Cream). Each one has brought laughter, tears, and occasional indigestion.

You know the one I mean

A while ago one of my uncles told me “I bought some of that drink you like so much, that chocolate wine stuff, and I tried it. It was terrible” and I was like “You can’t believe everything you read on the Internet.”

I hope we have four more years of awesome adventures together!!

Tagged: BIRTHDAY, clip show, cupcakes, list, meta, montage

Posted in lists |

VIQVI: Responding to Spam

April 24th, 2012 by pladd

This week on Vitally Important Questions of Vital Importance, I’ve decided to look to the only comments folder that’s consistently full on my blog, the one reserved for spam. Or what my blog thinks is spam. Oh, sure, some of these are just lists of links trying to sell me pirated software or SEO packages or whatever, but others seem to be genuinely reaching out to me. I’m sorry you got filtered into my spam folder, sincere if confused commenters! So I will spend this entry trying to answer your queries personally in any way I can.

Easy Content Services writes:

Hello Website Owner! I found your blog on Google and I really like it. My team provides professional article writing, and we are able to do it for $0.01 per word – that’s $5 for a 500 word article. All of our writers are based in the United States, and all of our articles passes the Copyscape test. If you are interested in using our service, or simply want to give us a try, please check out website out

Hello, Easy Content Services! It sounds like you have a completely legitimate operation going on here, but I’m not convinced your team will be able to watch Sam Neill movies with the dedication and care I require, so I will be respectfully declining your offer.

What is castor oil made from writes:

I really enjoy this template youve got going on on your site. What is the name of the theme by the way? I was thinking of using this style for the web site I am going to make for my school project.

Thanks, What is castor oil made from! I’m glad you like it! It’s called “Steven Wiggins is long suffering”.

Lady Bussone writes:

Hi there, every time i used to check website posts here in the early hours in the daylight, because i enjoy to find out more and more.

Wow! I’m so honored that a member of the landed gentry is reading my blog! I’m not surprised you can only find the time to do it in the early hours of daylight; you’re probably super busy waving from carriages and keeping peasant revolts down.

How To Get Rid of a Sore Throat writes about my post reviewing Goddess Girls: Athena the Brain:

My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs? I wouldn’t mind writing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write regarding here. Again, awesome weblog!

I’m so glad both you and your spouse are so interested in tween fiction! I guess if you wanted to both review a tween version of The Poetic Edda or something I would be okay with that! Send it to me when you’re done!

Tasha Thompson writes about this Sam Neill post:

I have been surfing on-line greater than three hours lately, but I by no means discovered any interesting article like yours. It is pretty value sufficient for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you probably did, the web will likely be much more helpful than ever before.

I know what you mean, Tasha! It seems like most of the rest of the Internet is completely ignoring Sam Neill for some reason! I’m glad you found my review helpful, I assume in impressing people at parties with your vast knowledge of different Sam Neill movies.

Devis Cumulus writes about this post of pictures from my camera:

An fascinating dialogue is worth comment. I think that you need to write extra on this matter, it might not be a taboo topic but typically individuals are not enough to talk on such topics. To the next. Cheers

You’re right, Devis! Why are individuals not talking more about My Little Pony embroidery or rugs or cakes that clarify that you are in fact da man?? What has our society come to??

17 Knicks writes:

Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

Wow, 17 Knicks! I can see why you wanted to share with someone! I too often find my guilt eating away at me Lady Macbeth style until I’m forced to come clean, even just to a stranger on a blog post about the Rice Annual Fund. You knew that shell had a hermit crab in it, didn’t you? I mean, they’re pretty heavy and obvious–you were clearly hoping it would attack your daughter, maybe subconsciously. That’s not the answer to your crushing loneliness and frustration with life as a stay at home mom, 17 Knicks. I hope that you will seek the help you need.

Arvilla Hatherly writes about this Sam Neill post:

I do like the way you have framed this challenge and it really does supply us a lot of fodder for thought. Nonetheless, because of just what I have observed, I basically hope as other commentary pile on that people today continue to be on point and in no way get started upon a soap box of some other news du jour. Yet, thank you for this exceptional piece and although I do not concur with it in totality, I respect your point of view.

Thanks for being respectful even if we don’t agree, Arvilla! It’s okay if you actually liked Alcatraz and weren’t as excited to see Moaning Myrtle in a different context. I too am so annoyed when people use my blog just to comment on the news du jour! This is NOT what the Sam Neill marathon is about, you guys! I’m looking at you, 17 Knicks! Arvilla doesn’t want some soap box in the comments either, maybe about the original Doctor Zhivago, BRIAN. Arvilla is calling you out.

Dovie Number writes about that same Sam Neill update:

had to cry over that blog post it was of superior quality. who could ask for anything more?

I guess it was only a matter of time before one of my Sam Neill updates made someone cry over how great they are. I always just assumed it would be Sam Neill himself, but there’s still time for that. Thanks for the tears, Dovie!

I can’t believe I’ve been basically ignoring my spam folder for so long! Clearly it is just full of compliments!! I feel great! Thanks, Spam!

Tagged: sam neill, spam

Posted in Advice |

Daughter of the Lioness Book 1: Trickster’s Choice

June 7th, 2013 by pladd

We’re back in Tortall again!!! This series of two books is about the daughter of badass Lady Knight, Alanna the Lioness, and badass spy master, George Cooper. Her name is Aly and she’s less badass and more annoying than either of her parents. Still, reading this book was exciting because I didn’t read it alone! I was joined by artist and noted pipe-enthusiast James Fox, with the understanding that I would provide humorous chapter commentary and he would provide humorous chapter illustrations! Did I mention this was all like a year and a half ago? Anyway, here are the parts of the project that survived to the present day!

Pretty sure James could also design a better cover, but whatever

Prologue
The Copper Isles raka clans were too busy fighting among themselves and those damn white people took over. Plus, their god Kyprioth may or may not have had his ass handed to him by the other gods. Some say the ancient raka royal line is still out there…

Chapter One: Parents
Aly is super rebellious and dyes her hair blue to piss off her mom. Aly’s dream in life is to be a spy in the field, but her mom and dad will not let her! She decides to run away and is promptly kidnapped by pirates and sold into slavery. That’ll sure show them!

Chapter Two: Trickster
Aly works for the Balitang family! They are way nice to their slaves, even if they are raka because the first Mrs. Balitang was totally a raka herself! She’s dead now, but her two half-raka daughters are feisty teenagers. Bronau, some kind of prince, warns the Balitangs that the Crazy King thinks they are traitors and they should head off to the country. Kyprioth makes a bet with Aly that if she keeps the Balitang children safe through the summer he will take her home ASAP. He fools the Balitangs into thinking Aly is the new Joan of Arc.

Chapter Three: The Raka
The Balitang children are super curious about Tortall and all the awesome ladies that live there, including Alanna, Aly’s mom. On the entire journey to their country island castle, raka just come out of the jungle to STARE at them, specifically the two teenage girls, Sarai and Dove.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tagged: book review, books, comic, James Fox, play by play, tamora pierce

Posted in Book Reviews |

The Circle Opens Book 3: Cold Fire

September 27th, 2011 by pladd

You could maybe tell from the title of this book that it’s about Daja, who has metal and smith powers! I’ve never had anything against Daja, except her moping through two Circle of Magic books before realizing that the Circleteers were really her friends. But that all got cleared up in Daja’s Book when she stopped a forest fire. This book is also about Daja stopping fires, perhaps because Tamora Pierce has a hard time thinking of ways for her to save the day with metal? Once again, Daja has to use her powers to try to save lives when fire gets out of control, only this time she’s up against an arsonist instead of the forces of nature! And you know I love when there’s a bad guy!

Daja and her teacher Frostpine are staying the winter in a medieval-fantasy version of Denmark? Maybe? It’s really cold and everyone gets around by ice-skating the frozen canals. As in the first two books in the series, Daja notices that the twin daughters of the family they’re staying with have special, previously-undetected magic with cooking and carpentry. Unlike the other two books, the city is apparently full of cooking-mages and carpentry-mages, so Daja is able to pawn the girls off onto better-suited teachers fairly quickly, leaving most of the story devoted to catching the arsonist who is hiding in their midst! Not-even-a-spoiler alert: it’s the guy in charge of fire brigades. This would be a huge shocker if we didn’t get whole passages from his point of view plotting to set things on fire fairly early on, making all the “No… IT CAN’T BE!” moments at the end kind of tiring.

Awards

Best New Character Award: It’s a tie between Heluda Salt, Police Mage, and Olennika Potcracker, Kitchen Mage. But I like them both for the same reason: being tough kickass women! Olennika doesn’t attend mage banquets because she’s “referred publicly to the richer of our members as parasites”(203). Heluda responds that she’s probably being too generous since at least real parasites feed other creatures so they can be good for something. Rock on, Lady Mages!

Returning Character Honorable Mention: Frostpine!
I’ve never really noticed Daja’s teacher before, except once when some other adult hints that he was (is?) a total, total player, but he is actually pretty funny. I like how he acts casually protective around Daja at times (like when BOYS are involved), but also casually gives her a lot of freedom to experiment and screw up. Plus, he sits naked in the kitchen fire.

Daja’s Improvement Score: +10% =85/100
Previously Daja has been a C-student for me. She’s not bad by any means, and I sometimes really like her stoic nature. She was about average as a main character in the first series, and luckily she has improved somewhat in this one! Congrats, Daja, you’re a B-student now! Without her friends to help her, Daja has to do more talking and standing up for herself, which she does pretty well! I don’t know if she’ll ever be my fave, but I wouldn’t mind hanging out with her.

Thing I Most Wish Was Real: Cooking magic! I think I’ve finally found the Circleeter-world magic that is for me! Now I guess I just have to wait for one of these wandering teen-mages to discover me and be forced to become my teacher!

The Play-by-Play

Chapter one
Daja and Frostpine are staying with Frostpine’s friends in the Frozen North! He has a bunch of daughters, but only two important ones, twins named Nia and Jory. Daja sees Jory put some magic into something she’s mixing in the kitchen. FIRE! Everyone runs outside and forms efficient bucket chains to put out the fire. Ben, a local merchant/expert in fire prevention, taught everyone how to handle fires because the whole city is made of wood. Daja is mad impressed that he can do all that without any magic, and he is mad impressed that Daja can command fire.

Chapter two
Frostpine bitches about being cold, as he will for the entire book. He explains that Daja has to help the twins with their magic, and that if one twin has magic, the other will too. It’s the first law of twins. Daja talks to Nia and Jory’s parents, who are happy their daughters have magic, but also annoyed that it will apparently ruin marriage negotiations. No one wants a headstrong mage wife!
Read the rest of this entry »

Tagged: Book Reviews, books, play by play, tamora pierce

Posted in Book Reviews |

Kick Ass Women: Literary Characters Edition

July 19th, 2011 by pladd

To continue my current project of praising some kick ass women that helped influence Middle School Patricia for the better, here is a list of kick ass women characters from books I remember reading and enjoying! Middle School Patricia read a lot–probably way too much, looking back–so literary characters definitely had way more influence on her than they probably should have.

Elizabeth, the Paper Bag Princess

As seen in the book of the same name by Robert Munsch

Peggy Orenstein of Cinderella Ate My Daughter fame actually mentions this picture book when she’s trying to find more female-empowering fairy tales to read to her daughter. Unfortunately, she doesn’t like this story very much either, because she says the message seems to be that princesses can’t be strong women AND find love. They have to choose one or the other. Personally, I don’t think that is really the point of the book at all. Here is a plot rundown in case your childhood was deprived:

A dragon wrecks Princess Elizabeth’s castle and carries off the prince she was going to marry! Rather than sit around feeling sorry for herself or waiting for someone to rescue her, she puts on the only thing she can find–a paper bag–and sets off after the dragon to rescue her prince herself. She tricks the dragon into wearing himself out and falling fast asleep, and then heads on into his lair to find worthless Prince Ronald. Prince Ronald is appalled by her gross singed hair and terrible choice of clothing and tells her to come back when she looks like a “real” princess. Elizabeth tells Ronald that even though he may look like a prince, he is really just “a bum” and runs off into the sunset.

Whatever, Ronald, like you're NOT dressed like a tool?

So, Peggy is right: Princess Elizabeth doesn’t get married at the end. Which I think is awesome! I hate how stories always end with the female protagonist getting married, as if that is the pinnacle of a woman’s existence and nothing of note will ever happen to her again. I also don’t see this ending as saying “all men suck and Elizabeth can never get married because she is too strong a lady”. Elizabeth won’t marry Ronald, which is totally the right choice and I don’t think anyone would argue otherwise. For all we know, she is running off into the sunset to find an awesome guy who doesn’t care about her appearance and would not act like such a prat when she just went to the trouble of rescuing him! The moral is not that strong women can’t find husbands; it’s that appearances don’t matter, and you shouldn’t waste your time with people who think they do! Elizabeth is amazing no matter what she is wearing, even if it is just a paper bag, and Ronald is a total jerk even though he is always dressed in the medieval fantasy version of Aeropastale. Secondarily, Elizabeth doesn’t “have” to get married at the end of her story just because she’s a princess or a woman. I wish more stories for girls ended without them finding love, because having it happen in pretty much every book creates too much pressure and unrealistic expectations.

Some people have thought it seemed like a weird choice for me to dress as for my wedding, what with it being kind of the opposite of a love story. And, yeah, it’s not going to work out for Elizabeth and Ronald, but I think this story can still teach us a lot about love: how important it is to love yourself, to find someone who can love you no matter the clothes or hair or other superficial things, and not to ever settle with someone who is less than perfect just because it’s the end of the story and you feel like that means you have to get married. Luckily, I have taken all those lessons to heart, which is why I’m marrying Steven Wiggins, not Prince Ronald.

I mean, is this the face of a man that cares about appearances? Not enough to untag himself on facebook, apparently

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Tagged: books, kick ass women, tamora pierce

Posted in lists |