Brewer’s: A

The 79 pages of A in Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable went even faster than I thought. As promised, I took notes of the most interesting things I read about, and here they are:

Adamites: One of a number of small Christian sects, which aimed to revert to man’s primitive state in the Garden of Eden by adopting nudity.

Give me some of that olde tyme religion!

Give me some of that olde tyme religion!

My favorite history is the kind that’s just ridiculous stories, and Brewer’s actually has a lot of that, so get pumped. Another thing I enjoy are explanations for common phrases or sometimes names for things I didn’t know had names:

Addisonian termination: The name given by Richard Hurd, bishop of Worcester (1720-1808), to the construction, frequently employed by the essayist Joseph Addison (1672-1719), which closes a sentence with a preposition, e.g. ‘which the prophet took a distinct view of.’

How many of these have I corrected at work without knowing they had a name? Look out, Korea, I’m about to get even more pretentious about grammar, and it’s all thanks to Brewer’s.

AEIOU: The device adopted by Frederick V, Archduke of Austria, on becoming the Emperor Frederick III in 1440. The letters, used by his predecessor, Albert II, stood for:

Albertus Electus Imperator Optimus Vivat. (Long live Albert, the best elected emperor.)

Frederick interpreted them thus:

Archidux Electus Imperator Optime Vivat. (Long live the Archduke, elected emperor for the best.)

Among other versions are:

Austriae Est Imperare Orbi Universo (It is given to Austria to rule the whole world)
Alles Erdreich Ist Oesterreich Unterthan. (All earth is subject to Austria)

To which wags added after the defeat of Prussia in 1866:

Austria’s Empire Is Ousted Utterly.

I have to start thinking up some Latin phrases to acronym after my name like that! Speaking of really good role models in Brewer’s:

Aetherius: In 1954 His Eminence Sir George King (b.1919) claimed to have been contacted by the Master Aetherius, a power from the planet Venus, who told him to become the Voice of Interplanetary Parliament. The result was the formation of the Aetherius Society, which now has branches worldwide. King, whose titles have not been verified, maintains he has met Jesus Christ, the Buddha, and St. Peter, who all now speak to him and through him. The Society teaches that a race of wise fish on the distant planet Garouche are trying to suck the air away from Earth, so killing all terrestrial life except marine creatures, which supposedly obtain their oxygen from the water. Members of the Society charge up devices known as spiritual batteries by spending a fixed number of hours in prayer.

So there that is

So there that is

Pretty much every sentence of this entry alone would be cause for inclusion in my “Best of Brewer’s” list, and, with them all there together, it’s going to be hard for any further entry to top this one. I know I have a long way to go (25 more letters!), but this is the standard I’m holding you up to now, Brewer’s, so bring your A-game.

Alexandra limp: In the 1860s Queen Alexandra (then Princess of Wales), after a painful attack of rheumatism in the knee, developed a limp, which was imitated in sycophantic fashion by many women about the court. Hence the ‘Alexandra limp’.

“Stop limping!” “But Mom! All the cool courtiers are doing it!” I love that this is the world I live in.

Brewer’s can also be oddly judgmental for a reference book, but that’s just part of its charm:

Aloha: [a real definition was here]… the spirit of the word can also be visually, if vulgarly, expressed in an ‘aloha shirt’, a loose and brightly colored sports shirt

Vulgar? This guy?

Vulgar? This guy?

I guess I won’t be getting Brewer’s a Hawaiian shirt for its birthday. Other times, it just gets weirdly specific. For instance, at the end of the April Fool’s definition:

April Fool’s:… Children generally accept that their licence to play tricks expires at noon, but adults take the whole day and may mark the occasion by arranging the delivery of a kissogram or some similar embarrassment.

Have any of you ever once arranged for the delivery of a kissogram? We’ve all been doing April Fool’s wrong and 2014 is the year we have to shape up. Thanks, Brewer’s!

After the word “As” was a four and a half page list of all the common similes that start with the word, such as “as deaf as a post” or:

As deaf as a white cat: It is said that white cats are deaf and stupid.

Pictured: a deaf idiot

Pictured: a deaf idiot

As drunk as Davy’s sow: According to Francis Grose’s Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (1785), one David Lloyd, a Welshman who kept an alehouse at Hereford, had a sow with six legs, which was an object of great curiosity. One day David’s wife, having indulged too freely, lay down in the sty to sleep, and a group came to see the sow. David led them to the sty saying as usual, “There is a sow for you! Did you ever see the like?” One of the visitors replied: “Well, it is the drunkenest sow I ever beheld.” The woman was ever after called “Davy’s sow”.

God bless you, random drunk woman, preserved through time for all to behold. Thank you, Brewer’s, for being the keeper of such vital information for ages to come.

Looking forward to B!

Next: B
Previously: Intro

Etsy for Rich People: Geekery Category

So I was looking at rings on Etsy recently because I’m thinking of someday leveling up my wedding ring, and, on a whim, decided to sort results by “Highest Price” to see what would happen. I may never be the same again. I started clicking on different categories only to see what the most expensive thing in them was, and to marvel at the idea of a world where someone has that much money to blow on… that. Other times I was impressed. “Wow, that required so much work and effort to build–I can see someone really treasuring that… if they had an extra $10,000 lying around.” But I’m sure to someone that price is worth it. By far the most interesting were the subcategories within the amorphous “Geekery” heading, and I bring you the best fruits of my search:

This one I actually think is pretty cool

This one I actually think is pretty cool

Heading up the “Geekery–>Jewelry” category at most expensive at $2,995 is this R2D2 inspired ring made of 14 karat white gold, sapphires, and diamonds. I’m pretty impressed with how this combines a nerdy subject and indisputable beauty, much like PaulMichaelDesign‘s other work, such as:

This amazing Pokemon ring!

This amazing Pokemon ring!

This Pokemon ring was right behind the R2D2 one in the list of most expensive, although the ring in his gallery I most want to replace my current wedding ring is:

A RUBBER DUCK RING!

A RUBBER DUCK RING!

A steal at only $275!

Turning to the “Weird” subcategory, we find this:

A lifesize bigfoot replica bust, for $1,500

A lifesize bigfoot replica bust, for $1,500

I was kind of confused about what I was looking at, but the item details make it clear:

Custom made to order!

Custom made to order!

Keep that in mind for next Christmas, rich people reading this! But if you really want to impress me, maybe take a look at the “Accessories” category for:

Tree of Knowledge crocheted "brain blanket"

Tree of Knowledge crocheted “brain blanket”

It’s only $3,600! The item details also describe it as an “idea insulator” and you can’t put a price on a good idea.

The “Clothing” subcategory features the most expensive piece of all:

Custom fit chainmail for ladies!

Custom fit chainmail for ladies!

I actually think this one is way cool and the price is probably justified because that is work intensive to the extreme.

Next up, Housewares, from which I submit to you this delightful pitcher to serve and confuse your guests:

Steel Skull Pitcher

Steel Skull Pitcher

It doesn’t really have a spout, and looks kind of hard to pour out of, but when you’re only paying $1,600 I guess you can’t afford to be choosy.

Another one I found legitimately impressive, from the “Toy” category, this laser-etched birch Settlers of Catan playing board:

With beautiful original artwork

With beautiful original artwork

I love this one. I would buy this one (maybe) if $430 weren’t a little steep. I wish he had other board games redesigned in this way.

How about the Science subcategory? From that, I submit to you:

This hand embroidered, scientifically accurate bisected human head

This hand embroidered, scientifically accurate bisected human head

Sure, it’s $1,200, but it’s appropriate for all occasions! Birthdays, Christenings, Valentine’s Day… really anytime you want to show you care.

Finally, the “Kitsch” category. I’m not really sure what that means, and I’m even less sure about what I found there. The most expensive spot is a 5-way tie between 5 different products from the same person, all kind of like this:

Note the item details say it's made of beads

Note the item details say it’s made of beads

As near as I can tell, this is the wall tapestry version of those little lizards and turtles and snakes we made as kids with big colorful beads and plastic string. Also this one, and each of its 4 brothers, is $10,000.

But I’m not letting you abandon the Kitsch subcategory just yet. Just below this puzzling beaded art is possibly the best thing I’ve ever seen on Etsy. Are you ready?

It's a latch-hooked rug of Lex Luthor/Clark Kent forbidden love

It’s a latch-hooked rug of Lex Luthor/Clark Kent forbidden love

According to the seller, it took 9 months to make, measures 18.6″ x 24″, and would make a great hanging “or a very interesting rug, although I can’t imagine anyone wanting to step on those beautiful faces.”

Truly, I know more about the world than I did this morning.

Next: Everything Else Category

Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable in a Year

I wrote about my 6 goals for 2014 last week, and the one I’ve been most looking forward to is reading all of Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. It’s been around since 1870, though you may not have heard of it because it’s more idiosyncratic than a typical reference book. I have the 16th edition, which was first published in 1999, although this printing is from 2003.

I got it for my birthday that year, actually

I got it for Christmas that year, actually

So I’ve owned this book for about 10 years now, and I’ve only ever read snippets of it. That all changes now, and I’m pretty excited to bring you updates on each letter. But for now, I’ll just start with the prefaces, introductions, and forewords. The latest one is written by Terry Pratchett, so you know we’re talking about something quality, even if you don’t yet know what it is. He describes Brewer’s as “a serendipitous book” because “you might not find what you’re looking for, but you will find three completely unexpected things that are probably more interesting.” Basically, it started as the Wikipedia of the 1870s, full of idioms, Norse gods, and peculiar stories about historical minutia. According to the introduction in my edition (by John Buchanan-Brown), it was instantly popular due to the 19th-century’s Romantic movement and the fact that a surge in literacy had created an intellectually curious public who lacked serious education. In his reference book, Dr. Ebenezer Cobham Brewer presented the results of academic scholarship (particularly about ancient folk customs, language, and beliefs–popular topics in the 1800s) in a simple, easily-accessible format for the general public. Of course, in the subsequent 15 editions, much has been edited, added, and cut. Pratchett writes that the 16th edition includes Gandalf but not “some of the duller nymphs,” which seems like a good compromise. I guess we’ll both learn more about the content as the year goes on!

Here's the side view, with my pen marking how far I read yesterday

Here’s the side view, with my pen marking how far I read yesterday

This edition is 1298 pages, which means I need to read about 3.5 pages a day, so my first update (about the letter A, naturally) will have to appear before the end of the month (there are 79 pages in A). Here’s a list of how many pages each letter stretches, from greatest to least:

I definitely wouldn't have guessed C to have the most

I definitely wouldn’t have guessed C to have the most

Though, of course, X being the least makes sense. Yesterday I read 15 pages because I didn’t have much to do and knew I’d be grateful later for a buffer. According to my spreadsheet, that means I’m 1.16% finished already! See? This year is going to be a cinch.

2014 Goals

Woo! I can already tell 2014 is going to be amazing. I’m not taking on as much as I did last year, and hopefully I’ll be even more successful!

1. Read all of Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable

There are lots of editions, but this is the one I have

There are lots of editions, but this is the one I have

Last year I read a book about a guy reading all of the Encyclopedia Britannica, and the year before that I read one about a guy who read all of the OED in one year. That’s probably where this idea came from. Although, of course, I wish I could contain all of the reference books I own inside my brain, it’s not particularly feasible or practical, especially in an age when I have a smart phone with me at all times. Brewer’s is the only reference book that I can see myself actually enjoying reading for its own sake, mostly because it’s a little whimsical and idiosyncratic, and completely full up of folklore, which I am endlessly entertained by. I hope you are too, because I plan to do blogposts for each letter I finish, hopefully with interesting things I’ve come across. And (let’s be honest) probably with some complaints.

2. Make a pie once a month

Last year’s cookbook project was a good experience, but I didn’t want to do it again. The cookbook I tried that most intrigued me was probably the one I have about different kinds of pies. They all look delicious! But I usually just end up making the same old strawberry/blackberry combo because I’m lazy. This year I’m going to branch out and try new pies! I asked Steven if one pie a month is too many pies, and he didn’t even let me finish the sentence before saying “NO NO NOT EVER.”

And so it was

And so it was

3. Make a new cocktail once a month

I got the idea for this one, because right now the top of our bookcases looks like this:

Steven loves the idea of making fancy drinks, at least

Steven loves the idea of making fancy drinks, at least

This one is blatantly for Steven. I mean, nothing’s stopping me from making cocktails, but he’s the one who enjoys it. I’m not saying the pie and cocktails have to happen on the same day either. Maybe one month we’ll switch and I’ll make a cocktail and he’ll make a pie.

4. Get everything currently on my “to-read” list off of it

I’m not doing anything ridic like 200 books in a year again. That kind of reading goal was a little too stressful, and meant I didn’t pick out longer books on purpose, like a third grader with a book report. However, I have noticed that my goodreads To Read shelf has had some books on it for coming up on 4 years now, and that’s ridic. I need to either read them, or decide not to. So the 96 books on it as of right now (12/17/13–HELLO FROM 2 WEEKS AGO IS IT NICE IN THE FUTURE I BET IT’S NICE) will no longer be on my To Read list by the end of 2014. I’m not saying I’ll read them all, and I’ll also read other things in 2014 too, but this housekeeping will be good.

5. Make dwarf helms for Steven and I to wear to the midnight showing of The Hobbit 3: Yes, There’s a Third One or whatever it’s called

It's actually called "There And Back Again", but I like my title better

It’s actually called “There And Back Again”, but I like my title better

I saw this awesome pattern too late to make it for this year’s midnight showing, so I figure if I start now I’ll be ready in time for next December!

6. Update my blog at least once a week

You may or may not have noticed that over the past two months or so I’ve been trying to get back to my ancient Tuesday/Friday update schedule. You probably haven’t noticed, since almost everyone stopped reading my blog after I disappeared for like 6 months (hello Brian and my mom!). It’s okay, and it’s not like I’m expecting to magically regain my old readership just because I’ve started to update about nothing again. But this is something I have to do–FOR ME. But I’m also pragmatic, and not sure how long this Tuesday/Friday thing can really work out, which is why my goal is just once a week. It’ll probably be more often (I hope), especially since a lot of these goals will require at least monthly updates. Basically prepare for a lot of pictures of pie and a whole post about, like, everything cool that starts with the letter B. I’m pretty excited to get started!!

Christmas 2013!!

Christmas 2013 was pretty rad. Here are some of the best things that happened to me:

My mom freaking out over the quilt I made

My mom freaking out over the quilt I made

There was a lot to freak out about

Baking cookies!

Baking cookies!

Peanut butter blossoms are my favorite Christmas cookie! Unfortunately, I dropped a whole pan of them while taking them out of the oven. The soft smooshing noises they made on the tile were both beautiful and tragic. These are the ones that survived. Until they were eaten, I guess.

My dad breakfasting like Christmas is Beer Bike

My dad breakfasting like Christmas is Beer Bike

Except with higher quality liquor, of course. What an ugly hat someone made for him!

Mr. Biffle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Biffle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Delicious food!

Delicious food!

Family

Family

A hotel room on the beach!!!

A hotel room on the beach!!!

Waking up to this every morning is no bad thing

Perfect view of the sunset too!

Perfect view of the sunset too!

Steven, being surprisingly chill about confronting his ancient enemy (natural light)

Steven, being surprisingly chill about confronting his ancient enemy (natural light)

Playing Take Off!!!!!!!!!!

Playing Take Off!!!!!!!!!!

Take Off is my family’s (well, my brother and my) favorite game, which is ridiculous since it was made to teach geography in like 1991. You have to guide your planes across the globe by rolling multi-colored dice and heartlessly sabotaging each other. Seriously, it may have been made for 8-year-olds, but it is the world’s best game. My only regret is that we only have one of it, which will inevitably lead to a decades-long Ladd family feud between my brother and I if it isn’t specifically addressed in my parents’ will. Maybe we will have to PLAY FOR IT ohhhhhhhh.

I won this year, by the way.

BERN'S STEAKHOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BERN’S STEAKHOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m thinking about doing a whole post on Bern’s because it’s ridiculous. It’s like what I would have described as a child if asked to imagine how rich people live (“…And then you have a separate room JUST FOR DESSERT…”).

Also, presents!!!!!

Signet Ring!

Signet Ring!

What a cool gift!

Hobbit Pez!!!

Hobbit Pez!!!

Look how the dwarves are tinier! It’s the best!!

Girl+conman+attack goose is the best combination

Girl+conman+attack goose is the best combination

I’m so glad to finally own my favorite Frances Hardinge books

Honey!

Honey!

One of my mom’s students keeps bees, which is the coolest thing ever! Even cooler, I got a big jar of honey!! I’ve already tried some, and, of course, it’s delicious!

Drafts of my books!!!

Drafts of my books!!!

This wasn’t technically a Christmas gift, but they arrived at Christmas and going over them took a lot of work so it felt like a present! Thanks, Brian!!! And Brian’s Mom!

ADVENTURE TIME GLASSES!

ADVENTURE TIME GLASSES!

I’m drinking water out of the Lady Rainicorn one right now, it makes everything taste more adventurous.

Now that I’ve used up my all the remaining exclamation points I’d saved up in 2013, on to New Year’s!

2013 Books: The Pretty

Mostly because I felt bad about going through the books I read in search of ugliness, I also picked out the covers I liked. Maybe doubling the number of books I read this year made me raise my standards, because there weren’t as many as I thought there would be. The best one was probably:

Ghostopolis by Doug TenNapel

Ghostopolis by Doug TenNapel

It’s a graphic novel, so I guess the art had better pull you in. Same with:

The Last Dragon by Jane Yolen and Rebecca Guay

The Last Dragon by Jane Yolen and Rebecca Guay

The art in this book was beautiful.

Seraphina by Rachel Hartman

Seraphina by Rachel Hartman

I also really like this cover, because it advertises the story so well: early modern period + dragons

The Professor's Daughter by Joann Sfar and Emmanuel Guibert

The Professor’s Daughter by Joann Sfar and Emmanuel Guibert

This was another graphic novel about an Egyptologist’s daughter who falls in love with one of the mummies he brings home. The art style is different, but I kind of like it.

Annoying: The Science of What Bugs Us by Joe Palca and Flora Lichtman

Annoying: The Science of What Bugs Us by Joe Palca and Flora Lichtman

The cover is what first drew me to this book: it’s perfect.

Extremes by Nick Middleton

Extremes by Nick Middleton

I read a lot more non-fiction this year than ever before, and they do a really good job of pulling you in with evocative photographs like this. For instance:

The Cookie Dough Lover's Cookbook by Lindsay Landis

The Cookie Dough Lover’s Cookbook by Lindsay Landis

I actually bought this book, because I was hungry and that cover

The Africa Book, Lonely Planet

The Africa Book, Lonely Planet

This is a pretty great reference book on Africa: lots of detail, lots of great pictures

Maphead by Ken Jennings

Maphead by Ken Jennings

I don’t know why I like this one so much. Maybe it’s the colors, or maybe it’s that I too find maps really aesthetically pleasing. For instance, on the wall across from me right now:

I claim I need it to keep track of stuff for my book (which is admittedly also true), but really I just like the way it looks

I claim I need it to keep track of stuff for my book (which is admittedly also true), but really I just like the way it looks

Finally two Rainbow Rowell covers, that I love

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell

Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell

A good year of books. I don’t think I’ll be making a reading goal for next year. It’s too stressful and takes some of the joy out of it.

2013: The Good
2013: The Bad
2013: The Ugly
2012: The Pretty

I Made A Quilt, Fools

I know you haven’t been able to contain yourself, wondering what my Super Secret 7th Goal was for this year, and I can finally tell you! I came up with the idea exactly one year ago today, 12/27/12, my parents’ 29th wedding anniversary. I thought, “That means next year will be 30! That’s a big deal! I need to do something.” And somehow I decided that something was to make a giant ass quilt.

It might not look super giant, but in work hours it's the size of a house

It might not look super giant, but in work hours it’s the size of a house

My mom is always making quilts for people, so I figured it was time someone made one for her. I started January 2nd, because I knew it would take me forever. It pretty much did, since I basically had to teach myself how to do it along the way. The library helped, and some Internet tutorials too. Here I am maybe four or five months in, after finally completing the top:

And Steven helped... me move the furniture

And Steven helped… me move the furniture

At this point Rob was like “You’re done! Yay!” Not even close, my friend. A quilt is made of a sandwich: the fancy quilt top I spent some months sewing together, the batting that makes it warm and bulky, and the backing fabric. There are many methods to get those three to stick together, but I chose hand quilting because I’m hardcore. That took a further six months.

The reason the quilt top took so long to complete was the embroidery I did to make it personal (hardcore). Close ups: Read the rest of this entry »

2013 Books: The Ugly

I don’t know what happened with the Ugly list this year. Usually it’s my favorite part of the year end book review, but I guess I picked out my literature based more on cover art in 2013 or something, because I looked through all 200+ books and only found these for you:

The Key by Lynsay Sands

The Key by Lynsay Sands

Even this is about what you’d expect from a romance novel

Biological Exuberance by Bruce Bagemihl

Biological Exuberance by Bruce Bagemihl

This book was actually really interesting, but something about that bird’s face staring at me from my desk… I don’t know

Wifey by Judy Blume

Wifey by Judy Blume

Okay, I don’t know how much of this opinion is colored by my hatred of the word “wifey,” but this cover kind of freaks me out. Does it not look like she’s hanging herself? Maybe she’s supposed to be jumping on the bed? Levitating? It’s confusing and a little disturbing

Not Love But Delicious Foods by Fumi Yoshinaga

Not Love But Delicious Food by Fumi Yoshinaga

Kind of a non-fiction managa review of different Tokyo restaurants? Which is kind of a weird thing for my library to own, but I checked it out for the sentiment of Foods Before Dudes, because yes. Then her kind of creepy goblin face stared at me for a week. I don’t know if I love it or hate it. Her expression says she might eat me if I’m not complimentary.

Keeping a Journal You Love by Sheila Bender

Keeping a Journal You Love by Sheila Bender

I don’t really get what’s happening here or what it has to do with journals

Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr

Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr

I can’t wait for Twilight-style covers to die

The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing by M. T. Anderson

The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing by M. T. Anderson

You probably remember this one from The Good list, but it took me so long to read because the cover is really unappealing. I actually thought it was some kind of revolutionary war-era Man in the Iron Mask retelling. I was glad to be proven wrong.

I Was Told There'd Be cake by Sloane Crosley

I Was Told There’d Be cake by Sloane Crosley

Just blah. And speaking of just blah…

The Cemetery Book by Tom Weil

The Cemetery Book by Tom Weil

Not a gravestone or a creepy angel or anything? Just… okay. Nice try, Cemetery Book.

2013: The Good
2013: The Bad
Bonus: The Pretty

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