The Plaid Pladd Blog

March Book List

March 31st, 2014 by pladd

This month I read only 5 books from my list. A little less than usual, but that’s okay. I took a break and read some other great things that weren’t part of my goal. I’m about 29% of the way there so far.

Grave Mercy by Robin LaFevers

Title: Grave Mercy
Author: Robin LaFevers
Amount Read: All
Rating: 5/5
Why was it on my list? That cover!

This book was awesome! I immediately looked to see if there was a sequel (and there is!! Though about different characters). It takes place in historical Brittany, where Ismae escapes from a terrible arranged marriage to an island abbey where the nuns serve Death. As assassins. There’s a little bit of magic, a lot of complex intrigue, and the perfect amount of ~romance~ with the added drama of whom can you really trust??. Love it.

More Than This by Patrick Ness

Title: More Than This
Author: Patrick Ness
Amount Read: All
Rating: 4/5
Why was it on my list? A list of good YA novels from last year

The novel opens with Seth drowning. He hits his head on a rock and dies. Then he wakes up, in the dusty remains of the house his family moved away from 8 years ago. Everything is abandoned and the entire town seems empty except for him. He must come to terms with the fact that he’s in some kind of hell…. or is he? I really liked the mystery involved, trying to figure out along with Seth what the hell is going on, and also the flashbacks to his life before drowning. There are multiple mysteries in this book, and I liked the way they twisted around each other. Only the ending was kind of unsatisfying, but maybe it’s a sequel set up. I’d be cool with seeing how this story continues.

Scorch by Gina Damico

Title: Scorch
Author: Gina Damico
Amount Read: All
Rating: 2/5
Why was it on my list? I enjoyed the first book in the series, Croak

True confession: I was not in the best state when I read this book, so maybe I would have liked it more at another time. The plot seemed unfocused, and the writing style and language kind of gimmicky. It ended on a cliffhanger, but I probably won’t read the third one.

Ash by Malinda Lo

Title: Ash
Author: Malinda Lo
Amount Read: All
Rating: 2/5
Why was it on my list? A list of fairy tale re-imaginings

This book was sold to me as “lesbian Cinderella” and I am all about that concept. Unfortunately, the execution wasn’t as exciting. Lo is very skilled at creating tone and mood, but all of her characters were somewhat two-dimensional and lacked personality. I didn’t really care about any of them, so of course none of them had any chemistry together and the romance portions seemed boring and awkward. I liked the world this lackluster story is built on top of, trembling between magic and modernity and full of myths and huntresses, and I wish the main characters had lived up to it.

Penpal by Dathan Auerbach

Title: Penpal
Author: Dathan Auerbach
Amount Read: All
Rating: 1/5
Why was it on my list? A list of horror books from around last Halloween

This book started as a series of Reddit posts, and that’s pretty much all you need to know. It didn’t even creep me out, and I am the world’s biggest wuss. Each lengthy chapter is its own short story, with a classic-style “THE CALL WAS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!” urban legend gotcha line at the end. The writing style was overly pompous, especially when the main character is mostly a child. Most of the characters act or speak in ways that aren’t appropriate for their age or situation (Mom is totally cool with letting her 5-year-old wander around the woods by himself! 11-year-olds analyze their friendships and admit when they are being distant and at fault!). Also, I had to buy this one (e-book), the first book I’ve bought for this project, so perhaps I was even more disappointed than usual.

The Ones I Decided Not To Read

Title: The Night Climbers
Author: Ivo Stourton
Why was it on my list? I have no idea. It’s been more than 4 years
Why I’m not reading it: This book only has a 2.95 star rating on Goodreads. All the reviewers basically just said it was a rip-off of The Secret History and not to bother. Since I would have to ILL it, and I already have enough to keep my library’s ILL department busy, I’m going to take their advice.

Title: Glamour in Glass
Author: Mary Robinette Kowal
Why was it on my list? It’s the sequel to Shades of Milk and Honey
Why I’m not reading it: The reviews made it sound like, though I enjoyed the first one, I wouldn’t like this one. I am still all about regency romance/historical fiction+now there’s magic! though

Previously: February
Next: April

Tagged: 2014, 2014 books, 2014 goals, Book Reviews, books

Posted in 2014 League of Six, Book Reviews |

2014: Three months in!

March 27th, 2014 by pladd

I’ve been doing terribly on my goals this year, guys. I could blame being really sick for literally all of 2014 so far, but maybe I just don’t want it enough. Here’s how I’m doing on my goals, a quarter of the way through the year.

1. Read All of Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable: 30%

I’m actually ahead on this one! You probably know I’ve already gotten through A, B, C, and D. I have about 900 more pages (of tiny type) to go!

Bring it

So far this task isn’t proving as difficult as I thought. I hadn’t anticipated how much of the text is taken up with entries like “Black Death: See Black.”

2. Make a pie once a month: 8%

I had so many pie plans for this year! I was going to try new and interesting fillings and exciting experiments in savory pies. I was going to fail at making hand pies! Alas. The only new pie I’ve made this year was for Pi Day.

They turned out awesome

Hopefully I’ll be able to put something else towards this goal before December.

3. Make a new cocktail once a month: 0%

4. Get everything currently on my “To-Read” list off it: 29%

I guess it makes sense that, over the last few months, the only goals I’ve really succeeded at are the ones that involve lying motionless on the floor. I’ve read or otherwise eliminated 28 books so far, with 68 more to go. My favorite one so far has probably been:

Grave Mercy by Robin LaFevers

But more about that later!

5. Make dwarf helms: 60%

Okay, these suckers are still giving me some trouble. I have the hat parts of both done, and the hair of mine (minus the mustache) attached except for styling and some fitting adjustments. So they look nearly complete, but I have a feeling the parts I have left will be the most finicky and annoying. Still, I have a lot of time before December!

6. Update my blog at least once a week: 25%

BAM accomplished for yet another week.

Total: 25%

Wow, I guess my over-achievement in some areas balanced out my total failure in others. Just like life.

See you in June!

Previously: 2014 Goals

Tagged: 2014, 2014 goals

Posted in 2014 League of Six |

Brewer’s Dictionary: D

March 21st, 2014 by pladd

I finally finished the D chapter in Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable yesterday! There’s no reason it should have taken me that long. It’s only 63 pages (the 10th longest chapter), but, for the first time since starting this project on January 1st, I had a week where I didn’t read anything! I know, what a slacker.

Anyway, here are some interesting things that start with D:

I always think of jeans as being super American, but it turns out denim is from France:

Denims–Coloured twilled cotton material used for overalls and, especially, jeans. Its name is a contraction of French serge de Nimes (‘serge of Nimes’), from the town in the south of France where it was originally made.

Tres chic!

I read a book once about animal trials, where olde timey law courts would try animals for murder. Once even a swarm of flies! Apparently, even if you weren’t going to seek punishment for some animal or inanimate object killing a relative, that thing was still considered cursed, and you had to sell it:

Deodand–Literally, something that should be given to God (Latin, Deo dandum). In former English law a personal possession that was responsible for the death of an individual was forfeited to the crown for some pious use. For example, if a man met his death from the fall of a ladder or the kick of a horse, the cause of death (the ladder or the horse) was sold and the proceeds given to the church. It originated from the idea that, as the victim met his death without the sacrament of extreme unction, the money could serve to pay for masses for his repose. Deodands were abolished in 1862.

Also, some bad news:

Devil’s livery–Black and yellow: black for death, yellow for quarantine.

Sorry Steelers fans, Wiessmen, and Hufflepuffs

I like learning word origins from Brewer’s, especially when the word has changed meaning pretty dramatically:

Double-cross–Properly, to cheat or cross each of two parties, to betray both sides

Of course, this original meaning makes way more sense!

And another ridiculous story brought to you by history’s first troll:

The Druid’s egg–According to Pliny, who claimed to possess one, this wonderful egg was hatched by the joint labour of several serpents and was buoyed in the air by their hissing. The person who caught it had to escape at full speed to avoid being stung to death, but the possessor was sure to prevail in every contest and to be courted by those in power

Okay, Pliny, whatever you say

And finally:

The Drunk Parliament–The Parliament assembled at Edinburgh in January 1661, of which Burnet says the members ‘were almost perpetually drunk’.

Previously: C
Next: E

Tagged: brewer's

Posted in 2014 League of Six |

Pi Day 2014!!

March 14th, 2014 by pladd

Happy Pi Day!! As you might recall, Pi Day is the most important holiday in the Ladd family, and it’s always hard for me to be away from home. But my Mom usually mails me a gift of a new calculator or some fancy graph paper or what have you, and, of course, I always make some kind of pie to keep the tradition alive. And to avoid a year of careless math errors, because that is one superstition I am afraid NOT to follow. I do way too much math (sewing, cooking, stats at work) to risk becoming bad at it for a whole year!

This year’s celebration will be a little more subdued (although of course Steven and I will break out the word problems later tonight) because I can’t really eat pie right now. I decided to make one for Steven to take to work, and since normal pie can be messy to pass out, I lifted my ban and agreed to make mini pies in my muffin pan. Don’t worry!! I had a few bites of one before he left to avoid math ruin.

Hand delivered in bed, because Pi Day is classy like that

These mini pies went a lot better than last time. My previous experience informed the crust cutting-out step, and there wasn’t an awkward lattice top crust to worry about. Plus, the filling was actually delicious because I used a legit recipe. Still more work than a normal pie, but I might be convinced to do it again sometime.

The perfect portion!

The filling is pear ginger, and you brown the butter with ginger and vanilla bean for a smooth, well-balanced flavor. Pear on its own would be too bland, but adding just enough ginger makes it pop. I was really pleased with how these turned out!

Happy Pi Day!!

Tagged: pi day, pie

Posted in Food, Things I've Made |

Etsy for Rich People: Everything Else Category

March 7th, 2014 by pladd

Last time we took a tour of the most expensive things you can buy on Etsy in the “Geekery” section. I felt like the best section to follow that would be “Everything Else,” a hodgepodge of random listings that wouldn’t fit anywhere else. And one of the subheadings is “Taxidermy” so you know this is going to be good.

Everything Else–>Educational

The educational section seems to be kind of a mix of teaching supplies and instructions for things. The most expensive item listed right now is this:

Yes, you’re paying $12,182 to download a file

The description claims that “IT training includes website creation and Internet marketing,” and that’s all the information you get.

Everything Else–>Magic

The Magic section has the crystals and tarot card readings you’d expect. The most expensive item is this 6-month psychic therapy session for $5,500:

Hey, it’s cheaper than some life coaches

Apparently you’ll meet for an hour on Skype once a week, and she’ll assign you homework to turn your life around! I feel like I already do that for people under the guise of my conversational English lessons. Clearly I need to up my prices.

Everything Else–>Metaphysical

In this section, you can pay $21,370 for a painting full of healing energy that will bring you happiness and longevity:

The description also mentioned how angels guided me to this page

It also comes with a certificate to prove how much healing energy it has.

Everything Else–>Personalized

This one is actually super cool, but I’m not sure why it’s in the Personalized section:

It’s an awesome chandelier!

$3,650 isn’t that bad for something forged, right?

Everything Else–>Religious

Bringing it in the Religious section is this “very large chanukah menorah” at only $4,450:

It IS a very large menorah

Made of bronze, straight from Jerusalem!

Everything Else–>Custom

In the custom section, we find a dude trying to sell his patent for a light-up fence:

I mean, it is a pretty cool fence

Sorry to disappoint you, but the asking price is ACTUALLY $1,000,000 US dollars. $250,000 is apparently the largest price Etsy will allow.

Everything Else–>Taxidermy

Taxidermy yes!!!!! And I’m not disappointed:

It’s everything that was promised

This $8,500 articulated cow skeleton would make “a great gift for a veterinary student or for yourself” and will be “at home in any collection of veterinary specimans, bones and skulls, or for the discerning cow owner.” Thank you, Taxidermy section.

Everything Else–>Weird

Alright, time for weirdness! The most expensive is at Etsy’s top allowable price ($250,000), and I don’t really understand what I’m looking at:

At first I thought it was like a copy of the book with Ray Bradbury’s spirit trapped inside or something

The description doesn’t really help me out either:

So you get a magical mirror box that will let you see into the ocean?

My favorite part of the Weird section was definitely this steal at $100,000:

Grimace’s autograph!!

“He was solely focused on the art of being fat and purple back then, man.”

Well, that wraps up this session of Etsy for Rich People. Try to contain your burgeoning fortunes till next time, when I’ll show you some more ridic things you can buy

Previously: Geekery

Tagged: etsy, lists

Posted in lists |

2014 Book List: February

February 28th, 2014 by pladd

I got through books this month from my 2014 booklist, which means 22% of my goal is complete! Here they are, in order of me enjoying them:

Code Name Verity

Title: Code Name Verity
Author: Elizabeth Wein
Amount Read: All
Rating: 4/5
Why was this on my list?: I think I already had it on my list because of a review I read, but then it won just all the awards

The best thing about this book is the point of view. It starts off as the “confession” being written on scraps of paper by a Scottish spy in a Nazi interrogation headquarters in occupied France. Things get intense, as you can imagine. I also really enjoyed a look inside women’s lives during World War II: female wireless operators, female pilots, female spies, female special ops. It’s not a part of wartime life that gets a lot of press (did you even know there were lady pilots being badass back then?) and Wein deals with the issue with such humanity that it hardly feels like history. Her characters feel very real, which is part of why this book is so crushing because, yeah, they are in the middle of a brutal war, so most of it is also terrifying.

Letters from Skye

Title: Letters from Skye
Author: Jessica Brockmole
Amount Read: All
Rating: 4/5
Why was this on my list?: I read a review of it, and I love epistolary novels.

This novel is a series of letters telling one love story that spans 2 world wars. It begins when a cocky college boy sends a fan letter to his favorite poet, a semi-recluse who lives in the beautifully remote Isle of Sky, Scotland. Make anything an epistolary novel, and I will automatically like it more. It also kind of made me miss the rugged beauty of Scotland, and all those sheep fields and hills-not-mountains I used to tramp around.

Who Could That Be At This Hour?

Title: Who Could That Be At This Hour?
Author: Lemony Snicket
Amount Read: All
Rating: 3/5
Why was this on my list?: Leeeemoooooonyyyyy Sniiiiiickeeettttt

The Series of Unfortunate Events dragged on too much for me, but I’ve always enjoyed Lemony Snicket’s writing style (in manageable doses), and some of Daniel Handler’s adult novels are really enjoyable and well-written (particularly The Basic Eight, a mystery, and Adverbs, a confused fever dream). This first book in a new series takes place in the same universe as A Series of Unfortunate Events, just some years earlier. It has the usual Snicket kind of things: an ex-island (now mountain) that mines ink from terrified underground octopi, sneaky note passing through library book request cards, and a grim, Edward Gorey-like pall hanging over everything. Basically exactly what you’d expect, and sometimes that’s comforting.

Delusions of Gender

Title: Delusions of Gender
Author: Cordelia Fine
Amount Read: All
Rating: 3/5
Why was this on my list?: A review I read, probably on one of the blogs I follow about gender issues

This book was intensely interesting, and, of course, all about a subject I’m already very invested in. Cordelia Fine gives an overview of the various studies surrounding the “neuroscience of sexism,” the belief that there are two kinds of brains in the world and, say, the lady ones are somehow inherently bad at math and the guy ones just can’t grasp the concept of emotion unless it’s about bacon. Which you know is total bullshit, and it’s nice to have a more thorough understanding about some of the studies that supposedly back this up, and all of the ones that disprove it.

Gifts

Title: Gifts
Author: Ursula K. Le Guin
Amount Read: All
Rating: 3/5
Why was this on my list?: A book list about interesting kinds of magical systems in fantasy

This book was very atmospheric and odd, but unmistakably well-written, at least from a language standpoint. I got to the end and really felt like I knew the place she was writing about–I just wished more had happened there. It’s one of those slow-moving, world-building type of books, but at least the world is an interesting one. The poor hill clans each have magical “gifts” that help them survive, at least when bloodlines run true. The main character’s family birthright, just like his father’s, is to be able to unmake things with a glance and a gesture, at least it would be, if it would show up already. Sometimes waiting for puberty to turn you into a killing machine is such a drag.

The False Prince

Title: The False Prince
Author: Jennifer A. Nielsen
Amount Read: All
Rating: 3/5
Why was this on my list?: It was nominated for a Goodreads award

I feel like I would have been all about this book when I was like ten (except for the lack of badass ladies–ten-year-old me had standards), but unlike other children/YA books, it was harder to get into as an adult. The main character and a few other boys are being groomed to impersonate the crown prince of their fantasy-medieval country, which may be treason or may be Their Civic Duty. Also, the ones that don’t get picked get murdered, so it’s good motivation to study hard.

A Queer and Pleasant Danger

Title: A Queer and Pleasant Danger
Author: Kate Bornstein
Amount Read: All
Rating: 3/5
Why was this on my list?: It’s full title is A Queer and Pleasant Danger: The true story of a nice Jewish boy who joins the Church of Scientology and leaves twelve years later to become the lovely lady she is today

The best thing about this book is that on the first page there are a list of “Also By This Author” and the first thing my eye saw was Nearly Roadkill: An Infobahn Erotic Adventure. I was immediately thrown back in time to the single greatest thing I ever found while wandering the undisturbed stacks in Fondren. This book was insane. It was written entirely in chatroom transcripts, at a time when “Infobahn” was totally a word people thought would be used to describe the Internet in the future. I think I gave James Fox a copy for his birthday and reaching similar levels of ridiculousness is our yearly goal for Script Frenzy (alas, never achieved). I was BEYOND psyched to read its author’s memoir. Although looking back, that expectation set my sights a little too high. This book was crazy, but real-world crazy that was often just sad.

The Wedding Planner’s Daughter

Title: The Wedding Planner’s Daughter
Author: Coleen Paratore
Amount Read: All
Rating: 3/5
Why was this on my list?: I have no idea

This book was… okay. I can picture a certain kind of 8-year-old girl really liking it, although not 8-year-old me. It’s less about pretty dresses than you might suppose, but it’s more about everyday life drama of dealing with loss and moving on and making friends. Nothing all that exciting happens, although I enjoyed a lot of the descriptions of Cape Cod.

Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

Title: Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures
Author: Amber Dusick
Amount Read: All except one chapter
Rating: 2/5
Why was this on my list?: Recommended on Goodreads because I liked the Hyperbole and a Half book

I didn’t like this book for two reasons, neither of which were its fault. The first is that, because of the style and the way it was recommended to me, I was comparing it to Hyperbole and a Half, which is a comparison no one can win. Allie Brosh is amazing in every way (writing style, comedic timing, explaining something that is so true and sad somehow in a funny way) and it’s unfair to hold anyone else to that standard. The second is that it’s about parenting (duh), but mostly the really gross unappealing parts. Which is like all of them, when you’re me. I was already feeling sick when I read this, so I ended up skipping the chapter about being sick since the other ones had still been too much about bodily fluids for my liking.

Every Day

Title: Every Day
Author: David Levithan
Amount Read: All
Rating: 1/5
Why was this on my list?: I think it was nominated for an award or something?

The idea for this book is interesting–the main character is a new person everyday, wearing their body and accessing their memories until midnight when he moves on to some other random body (always the same age as him and within a close proximity). This premise raises a lot of interesting issues, almost none of which are explored. Towards the end, almost off-handedly, the protagonist discovers there are more people like him, and that they can learn to control what they do. But he dismisses finding out anymore about that because, whatever it’s not boring enough or something. The bulk of the plot is about his creepy relationship with the girlfriend of one of the people he possesses. Maybe it’s just because I really hate the love at first sight trope, but their relationship struck me as superficial bullshit. “He looks at her and only he can see her secret sadness” uggggggggh no. You can’t use that as a shortcut to establishing a believable connection between two characters. Plus, the ethical implications of dragging your host body around, wrecking its life because it’s your vehicle for the day are only kind of acknowledged. We’re supposed to realize that his stalker-Nice Guy(TM) love trumps all those concerns, I guess. Also, he hops into a lot of different teen-problem-novel-esque situations that we’re supposed to Learn A Very Important Lesson about, even though these people are portrayed as strange cardboard cut-out minorities with almost no humanity of their own. Except the one fat guy he possesses, who is described as “the societal equivalent of a burp.” The protagonist makes a big show of how non-judgmental he is, except of the fat guy, because since you did this to yourself, you deserve society’s scorn. A GIANT NOPE TO BOTH THOSE ASSUMPTIONS, David Levithan. Ew.

Goblin Secrets

Title: Goblin Secrets
Author: William Alexander
Amount Read: One and a half chapters
Rating: ???
Why was this on my list?: It won some awards

I wanted to like this book! I love Baba Yaga, and people with clockwork robot legs, and fish that swim in dust. But somehow the beginning and the main character both failed to grab me, and I found myself really unenthused about reading anymore. Maybe it’s the higher level of commitment you have to make to a fantasy novel, all the time it takes to understand the world it’s set in. I’m not willing to make the effort for just anyone! Maybe that makes me lazy, or picky, or something. I guess I have pretty high standards. But there’re too many books I want to read, so no sense wasting time on something that doesn’t excite you.

Previously: January

Tagged: 2014 goals, Book Reviews, books

Posted in 2014 League of Six, Book Reviews |

Theatrically Released Animated Disney Movies

February 25th, 2014 by pladd

For some reason, I found myself looking at Wikipedia’s list of all theatrically-released animated Disney movies the other day, and decided I needed to rank the ones I’d seen. There are 58 of them (and 47 more I haven’t seen), and I ranked them kind of haphazardly, by going through and asking for each “Okay, is this better than that?” until I’d made a list. Some of them are tricky, because the plot’s pretty crappy but the animation is beautiful or I really like the songs. Others I’m pretty sure have earned their spots only through nostalgia. Here’s the Top 10:

1. Frozen (2013; Walt Disney)
2. Mulan (1998; Walt Disney)
3. Spirited Away (2002; Studio Ghibli)
4. Beauty and the Beast (1991; Walt Disney)
5. Emperor’s New Groove (2000; Walt Disney)
6. Aladdin (1992; Walt Disney)
7. Finding Nemo (2003; Pixar)
8. The Little Mermaid (1989; Walt Disney)
9. Hercules (1997; Walt Disney)
10. Howl’s Moving Castle (2005; Studio Ghibli)

It was interesting to me that a lot of them are from right around the same time period. Is that because Disney was the most skilled then? Or because I was the right age? Obviously there are outliers, like Frozen at #1 and the original Fantasia from 1940 ranking pretty high at #23 (see full list at the end). I made a graph scatter plotting release dates with my rankings and you can see most of the top ones are clustered in the post-1985 range, although that’s also when Disney increased their output, and acquired other studios like Pixar and Ghibli.

Interestingly, the worst ranked movie is from 1985

Here’s the bottom 10:

49. Sleeping Beauty (1959; Walt Disney)
50. Ponyo (2009; Studio Ghibli)
51. Dumbo (1941; Walt Disney)
52. A Goofy Movie (1995; DisneyToon)
53. Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars (1998; Hyperion)
54. Pinocchio (1940; Walt Disney)
55. Bambi (1942; Walt Disney)
56. Tarzan (1999; Walt Disney)
57. Doug’s First Movie (1999; DisneyToon)
58. The Black Cauldron (1985; Walt Disney)

If anything, it’s harder for me to decide the worst than the best, maybe because my reasons for disliking a movie are more varied. In the end, The Black Cauldron beat out all crappy contenders by having a lot of the same problems of plot, characters, and art style but also trying to cram 5 books into one movie. Five books that I kind of really like, especially at the time I first saw this film. You can imagine the disappointment. Child-Me had not yet come to terms with the fact that movie adaptions of books you like are often fraught with terribleness, but this movie helped teach her that lesson, I guess.

You might also notice that this bottom list is more varied in terms of studio responsible than the top list. I was interested in that too, and if there was a correlation between studio and quality. The comparison is a little unfair, of course, since Walt Disney Studios has produced 37 of the films on this list, while the next most prolific, Pixar, only has 10.

Films on this list produced by each studio

Still, I thought it would be illustrative, so here are the average rankings of each studio on the list (out of 58, remember)

The results aren’t surprising

DisneyToon makes a terrible showing, partly because there are only 2 films it produced, and both are on the bottom ten. Studio Ghibli is a clear winner, even with the terribleness of Ponyo weighing it down from #50. Walt Disney Studios, where the bulk of these are coming from, is sitting comfortably in the middle. Because, sure, it’s got its Frozen and Mulan, but it also has The Black Cauldron and Tarzan weighing it down.

Here’s the full list: Read the rest of this entry »

Tagged: charts, disney, movies

Posted in lists |

C

February 23rd, 2014 by pladd

Yay! I finally finished the C section in Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. At 127 pages, it’s the longest letter. I’m still only about 23% of the way to completion, but that’s pretty good for February! Here are some interesting things I encountered in C:

Candidate: … Those who solicited a high office among the Romans, such as that of consul, dressed themselves in a loose white robe. It was loose so that they could show the people their scars…

Elections would be a whole lot more exciting if it was all about comparing scars! Although I guess they’re already like that, metaphorically.

That’s right! This hot fashion item was named after a dude!

Cardigan: A knitted jacket or sweater with buttons up the front, named after the 7th Earl of Cardigan (1797-1868), who led the Light Brigade in the charge of Balaclava.

What a way to be remembered.

Brewer’s sometimes likes to tell you etymology, although it’s not the OED. I assume the editors only include word origins when they think they’re poetic and interesting, like:

Cemetery: The proper name of the word is “sleeping place” from the Greek Koimeterion, “dormitory.” The Persians call their cemeteries “the cities of the silent.”

“Sleeping Place” makes it less creepy, “city of the silent” makes it more

Cento: (Latin, ‘patchwork’) Poetry made up of lines borrowed from established authors, an art freely practiced in the decadent days of Greece and Rome… An example of a stanza from a modern cento, with lines taken from 19th-century poets, is the following:

I only knew she came and went (Lowell)
Like troutlets in a pool; (Hood)
She was a phantom of delight (Wordsworth)
And I was like a fool. (Eastman)

Basically, I’ve discovered ancient sampling.

Chamberisms: Such may be called the idiosyncratic definitions that have regularly appeared in the various editions of Chambers Dictionary… the following remain in the 1998 edition:

he-man: a man of exaggerated virility, or what some women consider to be virility
jaywalker: a careless pedestrian whom motorists are expected to avoid running down
middle-aged: between youth and old age, variously reckoned to suit the reckoner

Judgmental reference sources are the best! Brewers can be pretty judgey itself sometimes.

Charivari: A French term for an uproar caused by banging pans and kettles and accompanied by hissing, shouting, and the like to express disapproval, especially at an unpopular wedding

The emphasis is mine because what??

I’m picturing bored villagers going to weddings to heckle

Also, there’s this list, of everything bad that’s ever happened to a king named Charles. Thanks, Brewers.

Charles: Many rulers bearing this name have been afflicted with misfortune:

England:
Charles I was beheaded
Charles II lived long in exile
Charles Edward Stuart, the Young Pretender, died in poverty

France:
Charles II, the Fat, reigned wretchedly, was deposed, and died in poverty
Charles III, the Simple, died a prisoner
Charles IV, the Fair, reigned six years, married three times, and outlived all his children except one daughter, who was forbidden by the Salic Law to succeed to the crown
Charles VI, the Foolish, went mad
Charles VII starved himself to death, partly through fear of being poisoned and partly because of a painful and incurable abscess in the mouth
Charles VIII, the Affable, accidentally smashed his head against the lintel of a doorway and died in agony at the age of 28, leaving no issue
Charles IX died at the age of 24, stricken with remorse for the part he had taken in the St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre
Charles X spent a quarter of a century in exile, and after less than six years on the throne, fled for his life and died in exile
Charles the Bold of Burgundy lost his life at Nancy when he was routed by the Swiss

Naples:
Charles I lost Sicily and experienced many disasters
Charles II, the Lame, was in captivity at the time of his father’s death
Charles III, his great-grandson, was assassinated at the age of 41

I guess it’s the price you pay to look this fabulous

Also, apparently 18th-century Italy decided that husbands were necessary but so not fashionable.

Cicisbeo: The escort or lover of a married woman, especially in 18th-century Italy. At that time, it was unfashionable for a husband to associate with his wife in society or in public, and she was therefore accompanied by her cicisbeo.

I knew about the claque, which is basically the theater version of a laugh track, but I didn’t know there were so many specialties within it:

Claque: A body of hired applauders, as at a theater… The manager ordered the required number of claqueurs and divided them into groups. There were the commissaires, who committed the play to memory and noisily pointed out its merits, the rieurs, who laughed uproariously at the jokes, the pleureurs, mainly women, who held their handkerchiefs to their eyes during the emotional scenes, the chatouilleurs, who kept the audience in good humor with their quips and gestures, and the bisseurs, who cried bis (encore).

How great a job would this be? Anyone wanting to pay me to attend their show and react dramatically, just give me a call.

Plus, it turns out, everyone afraid of clowns is completely justified:

Clown: … [the standard appearance] is probably a relic of the Devil as he appeared in medieval miracle plays.

I always suspected this was the true face of evil

Also, very occasionally, Brewer’s will have illustrations:

Here’s one for the entry on different kinds of crosses

I’ve already made a start on D! It’s only the 10th longest letter, with 63 pages, so I’m hoping it won’t take me as long!

Previously: B
Next: D

Tagged: 2014 goals, brewer's

Posted in 2014 League of Six |