Archive for the ‘lists’ Category

Secrets of the Librarian Universe

I make librarians out to be pretty awesome, and not just through my own awesome example. Last year’s NaNoWriMo revealed that all librarians are trained secretly from birth by the International Librarian Corps, given subject specializations and cool badges and maybe even the ability to travel through printed works by Dewey Decimal. In the script James and I are writing this month for Script Frenzy, my character reveals that librarians follow a strict Librarian Code:

A page after this, we're attacked by a Jane Chance monster

In the real world, librarians don’t fight epic battles with literature’s greatest villains or even have cool ILC badges. I know, it’s a total bummer. However, there are some ancient librarian secrets I can report back to you after becoming a MASTER of library science (I will always, always say it like that from this day forth; I assume that’s the whole point of calling it a “master’s degree”). Here are some true librarian facts that might shock you:

1. Librarians haven’t read every book ever
2. Librarians judge books by their covers ALL the time
3. Librarians don’t hate fun (your mileage on this one may vary depending on librarian/library)

The first of this list is probably the toughest to deal with because, of course, we want to appear knowledgeable about every book ever, even though it’s impossible for this to be the case. Here are some tricks librarians (including me) are using right now to fake you out:

GoodReads

GoodReads is amazing! It’s kind of like the facebook of books. You can keep track of all the books you’ve read and want to read, organizing them into any categories you want. Mine include “Books I Own”, “Favorites”, and “Books I Started But Couldn’t Finish”. You can assign them star ratings and write reviews, and see what your friends are reading. When I remembered it existed a few weeks ago, I went into a frenzy trying to remember every book I’ve ever read to properly record it. But you probably only have these OCD urges if you’re actually a librarian already. If you don’t have GoodReads, you should def check it out, and if you do, then we should be friends.

Favorite Book Montage!

WorldCat

WorldCat is like a library catalog, but it lets you search all libraries in the world at once! Okay, maybe not all libraries, but it certainly seems like it. Librarians use it all the time for things like Inter-Library Loan, but I mainly use it to see how far away I am from a given book at any time. Seriously. Search for a book, and the results will tell you roughly how far away you are from a library copy. For instance, if I search for my book I get:

Of course, it doesn’t know that I have boxes of them in my closet. It’s really great when someone asks for a book we don’t have at the library to be able to tell them “Wow, the nearest copy is 3000 miles away! And in ENGLAND!” It makes me look like some kind of book psychic!

What’s Next?

You know what’s annoying? Series. And not just because I’m always confused about what the plural should be. Especially annoying are ones like Warriors or Left Behind that are actually a bunch of different series all shelved together in a seething, confusing mass. Luckily, I don’t have to read all of them to untangle this confusing web of prequels and sequels and spin-offs and “companion books”. I have What’s Next, which is maintained by Kent District Libraries in Michigan. It’s super helpful when some kid wants to know “Which Magic Tree House book comes after the one with the dolphins?” or “I need Magic Tree House #15!” Because there are 45 books in that series! Not to mention the confusion of Erin Hunter’s six series within a series about tribes of warrior cats.

Don't laugh, if you were born 12 years earlier you'd be into it too. Apparently.

Novelist

Library grad school is ALL ABOUT Novelist, but my experience is that real librarians don’t use it to fake you out as much as you might think, just because it takes awhile to load. It’s a huge database full of books and recommendations for other books. Chances are, you can access it too through your local library, although you probably don’t know it. If you search for a book, you get a brief description including quick one-word descriptions of the genre, pacing, tone, and writing style, plus the reading level and any reviews from “real” sources. Then on the side bar it recommends books like that one, and lets you customize a search for them by giving you check boxes with that book’s characteristics.

This one is from the book I'm reading with Steven right now, Museum of Thieves

So I can easily find other books with 12-year-old girl thieves, but maybe not museums. Of course, there’s no guarantee your library will own any of these books. And you can’t search by cover design, which would be the single most important librarian tool if someone would just invent it.

Bonus Library Secret: Custom Book Lists

This is possibly only a librarian secret in that I don’t think it’s advertised very well. At the library I work at right now, if you fill out an online form about what kinds of books and movies you like, they’ll email you a detailed book list just for you about a week or two later! The form is way detailed with lots of check boxes for preferred genres and sub-genres, setting, main characters, relationships, or tone, and the book list you end up getting is usually very thorough (and pretty!). They don’t ask for your library card number either, which means anyone can take advantage of it!

Grad School Yearbook

Yesterday was potentially my last day on campus ever! I turned in my final paper, went to my last class, and am so not going to graduation. The bus ride home was probably one of the most anticlimactic Last Day of Schools ever. I felt absolutely no remorse/sadness, and not even really any relief. In an attempt to try to reclaim some of that Last Day of School Nostalgia, I’ve decided to make a list of Grad School Memories. I’m imagining it as a kind of Middle School Year Book, with the kind of entries I remember thinking about for days before actually writing in another person’s. If only Grad School had yearbooks, these would probably be some of the entries I would write to the people/things I remember most:

Goth Prof

Sadly not an actual picture of goth prof

Goth Prof, I know you were only a PhD student stuck teaching me cataloging first semester, but your class really meant something to me. It was probably one of the most practical in grad school, where we learned a practical skill and all of the assignments were directly related to cultivating it. You didn’t waste my time, which was awesome. Also, you dressed like you were going to a goth Ren Faire most days, which was also awesome. One time when I was absent my partner claimed you wore red, but I don’t believe it.

Yahoo Answers for Credit

Yeah, I've totally got a reference book for that

Reference class was another one where most of the assignments actually seemed practical. Answer random reference questions assigned by the prof, answer questions for the ipl… answer Yahoo! Answers questions. Yahoo! Answers, you may or may not be the future of reference services, and I’m not sure you’re really where the majority of people are now turning for their “information needs”, but I’m not going to complain about an assignment where I get to spend time with you, answering ridiculous questions instead of reading some boring article. Answering ridiculous questions (“What’s the PINKEST book in the library??”) is pretty much why I got into this business in the first place. That, and the mystique.

 

“I made this PowerPoint from scratch!”

Couldn't find a picture of them, but here is their natural habitat

Oh, People Who Take Library Grad School Seriously. You are hilarious! I sincerely enjoyed all of my time in class with you. The times you asked the professor what size font the final paper should be in on the first day of class. The times you asked questions about ridiculous hypothetical situations like “What should we do if a child vomits on the floor and another child tries to eat it? Could we be sued for that?” The times you actually thought the professors knew what they were talking about. The times you created elaborate reasons for your side of the books/technology debate (“What if all world governments collapse and we find ourselves living in a post-apocalyptic society? We probably won’t have electricity. We’ll need BOOKS to tell us how to SURVIVE.”) The way you would make a 20-slide PowerPoint for even the shortest of presentations. Yes, your antics pretty much kept me endlessly entertained, but also showed me to my own path, my grad school mantra, if you will. Which brings me to:

What are you going to do, fail me?

Not Pictured: Grad School

I’m pretty sure nobody fails grad school, at least not Library science Grad School. All you have to do is reassure the faculty (however erroneously) that yes, they are useful. While other people got worked up about the fonts on their PowerPoints, I just silently repeated my Grad School motto, “What are they going to do, fail me?” and stopped worrying about it.

“Teens like clothes, right?”

Oh, Professors Who Have No Clue What They’re Talking About! We’ve come so far since I first met you! Just think, back then I still had some respect for your ability to teach a class without sounding silly! Ha ha, and then that memorable day when you were forced to acknowledge that teenagers exist and, hey, some libraries actually have the gall to try to put on programs for them. What was your suggestion? Oh right, I remember because I wrote it down for evidence: “Teenagers spend a lot of money on clothes, so maybe you could bring in some ‘cool’ teens to tell the other teens how to dress.” Yeah, that was it. And maybe you might have heard a weird noise after you said that, as an undertone to the general uproar from those of us actually listening to you? Yeah, that was me, screaming with my mouth closed.

Magic Cupcakes!

I know this was only a few weeks ago

But you've got to admit, they're pretty awesome

Preschool BFF Reunion!

On Wednesdays, we wear pink

Megan!!! My favorite grad school memory by far is discovering that we have always been besties! Megan and I have been grad school friends for awhile–ever since we discovered that we are both awesome–but it wasn’t until my mom saw a post she made on my facebook wall and said, “You know, your best friend in preschool had that same name!” that we discovered we go way back. Natch it’s hard to remember all the deets from when you were three, especially when we both moved away shortly after.

Reunited and it feels so good!

March Book List

It looks like I read way more this month than usual, but a lot of these books are for children or graphic novels, so they didn’t take as long. Click to see February and January booklists.

With Steven


Mothstorm by Philip Reeve
The sequel to Larklight and Starcross, Arthur and his steampunk space pirate friends must save Queen Victoria and the entire British space-empire from lizard aliens riding giant moths.


I Shall Wear Midnight by Terry Pratchett
Tiffany Aching is probably my favorite Terry Pratchett story arc. She’s spunky yet practical, and always surrounded by belligerent, vaguely Scottish pictsies.


Castle in the Air by Diana Wynne Jones
The sequel to Howl’s Moving Castle, whose ending basically goes “Surprise! Everyone’s been turned into something else!” Diana Wynne Jones died last weekend, which bummed me out. I love her Chrestomanci books. Maybe it’s something about a really dapper enchanter who always shows up in elegant bathrobes.

For Class


The Fairy Godmother by Mercedes Lackey
Being a fairy godmother is tough, but you’ve still got time for romance! This was my book for fantasy week, because Steven already owned it and I didn’t want to talk to anyone about David Eddings for fear I would have a terrible-female-character-archetype-induced aneurysm.


The Birthing House by Christopher Ransom
My book for horror week. A couple moves into a creepy house! But the ghost mostly just causes a bunch of surprise pregnancies.

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(Possibly Untrue) Things I’ve Taught the Girl I Tutor

Once a week I spend three hours talking about science and American history with a fifth grade girl who moved here about a year ago from Korea. Her English is awesome, but because she didn’t grow up celebrating the 4th of July or dressing up like historically inaccurate pilgrims her take on US history is often a little bit different. Of course, my own idiosyncrasies are only warping her further.

1. Mangroves are the MOST important part of nature

That's right, more important than ducks

Unless you grew up in Florida or some other, very specific coastal regions, you probably don’t know what a mangrove is, which is shocking because I’m pretty sure they were all we studied in 4th grade. That, and how to write a five paragraph essay. Usually about saving the mangroves. They are the only tree that grows in salt water and their elaborate root systems are a great place for tiny fish to hide from bigger fish and for things to lay eggs. People wanting more beach real estate has threatened their existence in a lot of areas, including the part of Florida where I grew up, which might explain why 4th grade was obsessed with brainwashing us into saving them.

Seriously, I knew everything about mangroves in fourth grade. We read about all the animals that depend on them, we learned how to identify the different kinds and their parts, we took field trips just to look at them. “Mangroves,” fourth grade taught me, “are an ESSENTIAL part of life.”

Then I moved away from Florida, and have remained unaffected by mangroves ever since. But when North Carolina schools started studying ecosystems and biomes, I brought in all these library books to tutoring about mangroves because, thanks to fourth grade, THEY ARE THE ONLY ECOSYSTEM I KNOW.

Yeah, I said it, Temperate Deciduous Forest. What are gonna do about it?

2. Teddy Roosevelt: World’s Greatest Human
Teddy Roosevelt is not only my favorite president (sorry, James K. Polk, it’s true), but also the person from history I would most like to meet. In fact, the only reason I’m doing the librarian thing is because my actual dream, solving time traveling mysteries with TR, proved totally unfeasible.

TR would be like a more badass version of Inspector Gadget, I would be Penny, and Dr. Claw would be played by a bionic Thomas Edison. Brain would be replaced by an actual floating brain.

I think it’s because, unlike all modern politicians ever, he didn’t feel the need to conceal his entire personality behind a cardboard cutout designed to be boring enough to offend no one. Teddy Roosevelt knew what he liked, and it was exploring the wilderness, digging canals, and big game hunting. And if you didn’t like it, tough, because he was going to do it anyway. Also, this one time he got shot during one of his speeches and just kept going. This may be the only fact the girl I tutor will remember about US history, which is fine since it’s THE BEST ONE.
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February Book List

In accordance with my new year’s resolution, here’s every book I read and completed in February!

With Steven

Un Lun Dun by China Mieville
Improbably named teenagers escape into UnLondon where feral garbage attacks are common and they have bookaneers, or extreme librarians! This may not have been the point of the book, but it’s my favorite part.


Starcross: A Stirring Adventure of Spies, Time Travel, and Curious Hats by Philip Reeve
A sequel to Larklight in which Art and his space pirate friends battle time traveling psychic parasites called “the Moob”.

For Class

Captive Queen by Alison Weir
This was for historical fiction week, and fulfilled my dream of reading a giant book about Eleanor of Aquitaine. Unfortunately, most of it was her being trapped in a tower, and not inventing flossing as I’d previously thought.


SAHM I Am by Meredith Efken
I read this for Inspirational Fiction week. An epistolary novel written in e-mails from a Christian Stay At Home Mom’s list serv community. Further reinforced that I never want to have children or to be part of a list serv community about them.


The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley
The best mystery I’ve read about an 11-year-old chemist who solves stamp-collecting-related murders. Read the rest of this entry »

Wedding Planning: I Don’t Know Why It Gets a Bad Rap

Okay, I do. I can see how it would be way stressful if you were planning something big and fancy with lots of important details and things you can’t control like the weather. But if it rains on my wedding, the ten of us at the ceremony will just stand under umbrellas. Since I was planning on wearing flip-flops anyway I don’t envision myself freaking out.

The most trying decision I will probably have to make is what costume to wear to the amazing Halloween party we are having in celebration at my house afterwards. For guests, costumes are optional (but awesome!) but Steven and I of course will take any excuse to dress up and we’re thinking of matching somehow. Here are some ideas I’ve already had:

1. Pirates
Dressing as pirates would have some precedent, since it was “how we met” (here is why that has to be in quotes), and is always fun. Plus, Steven suggested we could up the ante by dressing as STEAMPUNK pirates, which would be even more exciting.

I am a fan of tradition. Especially pirate tradition.

2. Princess Bride
My favorite costumes are literary characters being, you know, a librarian. Plus, Steven seems really into wearing one of those puffy shirts.

Of course, if I could get a ridic crown it would be my top choice

However, I’m not sure I am as into any of Buttercup’s dresses. Or just the idea of wearing a big fancy dress in general. How am I supposed to hop around playing Rock Band in that? Yeah, Rock Band requires hopping. You haven’t seen how great I am at it.

3. Paper Bag Princess
This is something I thought of recently, based one of my favorite books ever, The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch.

I don't know why feminism is not all over this book

Basically, Elizabeth’s beautiful clothes and jewels and castle are all burned down by a dragon, who prince-naps Prince Ronald, who she’s going to marry. So she puts on the only thing she can find, a paper bag, and goes off to save him. She outwits the dragon with her cleverness, but then decides, when her prince is like “ELIZABETH, WHAT are you WEARING?” that he is a jerk and she doesn’t need him anyway. Now that I think about it, Elizabeth the Paper Bag Princess has maybe been my secret role model all my life. Anyway, I could TOTALLY make an awesome dress out of paper bags. A bunch of people have done it out of newspaper and paper bags are more durable! Steven could be the dragon! I outwit him all the time, and we all know Steven is all about dragons! It would be perfect. This is maybe my favorite choice so far.

My mom told me that when she told a few people about my wedding plans they said, “You must be so disappointed!” I think she responded, as I would have, “How could I be disappointed with SHEER AWESOME?” Those people are just being Prince Ronald and are no fun. I’m going to steal some paper bags from the grocery store next week and practice!

A Slice of My Life

Naturally the entire reason I started a blog was because I assumed everyone was dying of curiosity about what it’s like to be me. Well, that, and because I hate seeing a list serv rep cry. Anyway, here are impressions of the last four hours of my life:

–While reviewing children’s non-fiction books that are older than 10 years, find Dave’s Quick ‘n’ Easy Web Pages, copyright 1999, which leads me to place numerous bets with myself about whether the numerous links it directs me to still exist. A sample:
Anything on Netscape: No
Angelfire: Yes?
Alta Vista: Yes
Geocities: No. Sad face.

–Completely baffled a dad when I instantly found the book he wanted just as he was about to despair. I described this event in loving detail on the blog I’m keeping for my advisor to grade, but all you really need to know is that someone else recognized that I have MAGICAL LIBRARY POWERS. And that my advisor clearly did not know he would be getting an epic saga when he assigned me to blog my field experience log.

–With my whole iPod to choose from, Trixie decides to only play The A*Teens on the way home. I go with it, since, for some reason, I still know all the words to all of their songs. I’m momentarily ashamed, then decide it is further proof that I am awesome.

–Steven has made Thai curry for dinner! It is even tastier because he also did all the dishes.

–Now I am updating my blog downstairs while listening to the quiet yet vehement cursing of Steven working on websites up in his office. Maybe he needs Dave’s Quick ‘n’ Easy Web Pages? It’s so quick, they don’t even have time for two-thirds of the letters in “and”! And the cover blurb is from the co-founder of Netscape! Maybe for his birthday.

Christmas Bounty!

For once, I got some mail instead of sending it the other way! Exciting! Because Steven and I only brought one checked bag between us, we decided to ship a lot of the presents we got in H-Town to Carrboro instead of trying to get them all on the plane. The packages arrived today! It was like Christmas all over again!! Mostly because I’d forgotten a lot of what I got. Because some of it is ridic. Here are some pictures!

I wish I could show you the inside of this book but I would have to give you all PIRATE 3D GLASSES! It is mostly scenes from Pirates of the Caribbean

Oh my grosh you guys! I can now bake UP TO FOUR potatoes in the microwave now. Apparently.

Still kind of skeptical about this one.
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