The Plaid Pladd

When I wrote my post about reasons you should visit me, I included afternoon tea at the Umstead without ever having experienced it myself. I was that sure of how awesome it would be. But, just to maintain my high level of Internet credibility, I decided to investigate to be certain. Spoiler alert: everything was amazing.

What did you expect?

The Umstead is North Carolina’s only 5 star hotel, and it is just down the street from my apartment!!! Gotta take advantage of that classy scene. But first, you have to look your best:

Not that I don’t always

Although, in reality, there were people there in flip flops. PEASANTS.

You can choose from seven or eight different kinds of tea, or just get a cocktail if you’re completely gauche:

Like this character

The first course starts off with tiny adorable sandwiches:

They taste better because they’re cut into shapes. FACT

You got your cucumber, your chicken salad, your asparagus egg salad, your cream cheese panna cotta, and your smoked salmon. ALL DELICIOUS. Even Steven liked all of them, and he normally hates things that end in “salad” or fish.

Second course was scone time

Cranberry scones and pistachio raspberry tea cakes with a whole raspberry baked in the middle? The only way to make that better is with homemade apricot jam!! Also, devonshire cream and lemon curd, because of course.

But then there’s course number 3:

When I saw it coming towards us, I went “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod” and everyone looked at me

This tower is poignant in a way, because, while delicious, it comes with the sad knowledge that nothing else will ever be as delicious and you are just going to have to keep living your life while knowing that. Top tier you got your berry macarons. Perfect macarons, of course. And you bet we can appreciate that now. Then there was this chocolate mousse/caramel whipped cream concoction, and finally a kind of lemon raspberry cake with vanilla mousse that words cannot even describe.

Of course, everything tasted better because it was tiny and adorable

Also, because we were listening to live harp music:

This was after he left. We were right next to him so I didn’t want to spook him by taking his picture while he was playing

You haven’t experienced true fanciness until you’ve had afternoon tea while listening to a guy play Billy Joel on the harp. Just putting that out there right now.

In conclusion, Steven got sloshed, I nearly swooned from joy, and you should probably visit ASAP so we can do it again together.