January, 2014 | The Plaid Pladd Blog

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2014 Book List: January

January 31st, 2014 by pladd

One of my goals for 2014 was to clear out my To-Read list on Goodreads. I’m happy to report that I’m already on my way, although my library only owns about 60% of them, so things might slow down once I’m stuck waiting for inter-library loan or (GASP) spending money on books I haven’t read. J/k, you know I wouldn’t do that unless things got pretty dire. It’s against my principles as a cheapskate and a bibliophile. You want a coveted place on my bookshelf, you have to prove you’re up to it.

Anyway, I’ve gotten through 10 books so far, which is about 10% of the way towards my goal (there are 96 in all). Here they are:

The Ones I Read

Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel

Title: Clan of the Cave Bear
Author: Jean M. Auel
Amount Read: All
Rating: 5/5
Why was this on my list?: A list of books with good heroines

A teacher recommended this novel to me in the 7th grade during a unit about prehistoric man, but I only read the first 10 pages before giving up. The book was intimidatingly huge, and the characters barely had any dialog. This time around I loved it so much and can’t wait to read the rest in the series. Ayla is amazing, and this time I found Auel’s depiction of prehistoric neanderthal society really interesting. Plus, badass lady hunter! So yeah, I’m all about this.

Rapture Ready by Daniel Radosh

Title: Rapture Ready
Author: Daniel Radosh
Amount Read: All
Rating: 5/5
Why was this on my list?: Recommended by GoodReads because I liked The Unlikely Disciple

This book is an exploration of the strange parallel world of Christian pop culture in its many facets. Of course, I vaguely know about the Left Behind series and that Christian pop music exists, but I didn’t know about things like Christian electronica (What makes it Christian without lyrics? “the heart of the composer”), “break dancing as worship,” Bibleman superhero show, and Christian pro wrestling. I immediately contacted Rachel when I read the pro wrestling chapter telling her to give up her pursuit of a divinity degree and immediately start training. All that was left was to think of names. Since she is three months away from being a Master of Divinity, she came up with “Jezebellicose.” My only contribution was “Mary Magdapunch.”

Other People’s Love Letter’s

Title: Other People’s Love Letters
Edited by: Bill Shapiro
Amount Read: All
Rating: 4/5
Why was this on my list?: Recommended by Goodreads because I liked Found and Postsecret

Initially I thought this book was a collection of love letters from famous people, probably in like the 17th century or whatever. I would have been down with that, but the reality was even better! It’s random love notes, drawings, texts, email messages, and, yes, even some real letters, all from normal people, all presented in a similar format to Found/Postsecret. The result is artistic and sweet in its simplicity. There was also an epilogue of sorts at the back that explained the background behind some of them and if the couples stayed together or not.

The Weight of Water by Anita Shreve

Title: The Weight of Water
Author: Anita Shreve
Amount Read: All
Rating: 4/5
Why was this on my list?: I’m thinking a book list of unusual narrative construction? I’m just guessing, I don’t remember.

This novel is two stories entwined around each other: one, a gruesome historical murder mystery that really happened in the 1870s, the other a modern-day drama about a marriage falling apart. I was interested in the outcome of both stories, but the real draw was the weirdness of the setting. The Isles of Shoals are a small island group 6 miles off the coast of New Hampshire, and living there–especially in the 1800s–sounds desolate and terrible.

Where Children Sleep by James Mollison

Title: Where Children Sleep
Author: James Mollison
Amount Read: All
Rating: 2/5
Why was this on my list?: Recommended by Goodreads because I really liked the photo essays by Peter Manzel and Faith D’Aluisio (Hungry Planet, What I Eat, Material World, Women in the Material World)

I was pretty excited for this book, because I love everything Peter Menzel and/or Faith D’Aluisio have ever done, like photographing different people around the world with a typical day’s worth of food surrounding them followed by a short essay about their lives. I really think this kind of personal, themed display is a more powerful tool for understanding modern society globally than the normal statistics and news reports. Mollison’s book has a similar theme: photographing children’s bedrooms–well, where they sleep, they don’t all have bedrooms–with short paragraphs about their lives. Unfortunately, I didn’t find Mollison’s work to be as engaging. He didn’t visit as diverse a population as the other books I referenced (for instance, there were at least 4 or 5 in the US, but almost all in New York or New Jersey), and a single picture per subject often didn’t capture as much detail as I would have liked.

The Ones I Sort Of Read

I still gave these a rating even though it’s maybe unfair to judge them after only reading half or a third or a few pages. I’m willing to be convinced that they got better after I gave up, but I shouldn’t have to force myself to get into a book, so I’m not really apologetic about the giving up part.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time

Title: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Author: Mark Haddon
Amount Read: Half
Rating: 2/5
Why was this on my list?: A list of books with unusual narrators

I remember when this book was a big deal, the Life of Pi or Girl with a Dragon Tattoo of its day. Like those other books, I found it difficult to muster the enthusiasm necessary to read it, and found it didn’t live up to the hype once I did (sometimes things do live up to their hype–I was similarly reluctant to read The Hunger Games and you know how that turned out). Steven tells me I’m too hard to impress because I read too much, and maybe that’s true, because I found this book uncomfortably gimmicky. I’m not sure if I was supposed to be able to guess the truth behind the narrator’s family drama in the first chapter or what, but it made the subsequent revelations boring. I decided I would power through to the end to see if my supposition about who killed the neighbor’s dog was correct, but then my prime suspect confessed about halfway through. I immediately thought, “Oh, well… thank you. Now I don’t have to bother.”

Carter Finally Gets It

Title: Carter Finally Gets It
Author: Brent Crawford
Amount Read: A third
Rating: 2/5
Why was this on my list?: I have no idea. Was it banned somewhere? It’s possible, the narrator is very preoccupied by breasts

This book is fine, really, if you’re interested in the inner-workings of the mind of a 14-year-old boy. I’m not so much, and it was around the chapter about burrito farts ruining a first date that I decided I didn’t really need to read further. I’m obviously not one of those people that thinks just because something is shelved in YA it’s going to be a teen problem novel of no interest to adults (because, come on, Abhorsen, True Meaning of Smekday, MOSCA MOTHERFUCKING MYE). I think there are the books that get shelved in YA just because they happen to be about someone who isn’t an adult, and the books people write with the actual purpose of being put there. It’s a big difference, in terms of scope, and sometimes quality, and I wish so many of my favorites didn’t get stigmatized by association with the Carter Finally Gets Its of the library. It’s okay–some people would like this book and probably think it is hilarious–but not me.

The Night Strangers

Title: The Night Strangers
Author: Chris Bohjalian
Amount Read: 5 pages
Rating: 1/5
Why was this on my list?: A “best ghost stories” book list that came out around Halloween

This book started out describing a creepy house with a creepy cellar sporting a creepy door that’s been nailed shut with a vengeance. Cool, I’m with you so far, prologue. Until the main narration starts, and it’s in second person. NOPE! SO DONE! That is only appropriate in Choose Your Own Adventure Novels, and even then it can get annoying. What’s the point of making the main character “you,” a regional airline pilot and father of two? I’m NOT any of those things, and trying to convince me I am is distracting and terrible. If that’s the only way you can think of to make your scary story seem more immediate for the reader, maybe you shouldn’t be writing horror. Anyway, I read some reviews to see what I was missing, and it seems to be a botany-related immortality cult. So yeah, I’m good.

The Ones I Decided Not To Read

Title: Found II
Author: Davy Rothbart
Why was this on my list?: I liked the first one
Why I’m not reading it: I liked the first one, but I didn’t like it enough to wait for it through inter-library loan, especially since I have so many other books to inter-library loan this year.

Title: Carrion Comfort
Author: Dan Simmons
Why was this on my list?: A list of good scary stories from Halloween
Why I’m not reading it: I read the description, and it doesn’t sound like something I’d enjoy. Secret alien societies are not really my thing, and since my library doesn’t own it, it doesn’t seem worth the effort.

Tagged: 2014, books, lists

Posted in 2014 League of Six, Book Reviews |

Take this

January 28th, 2014 by pladd

I’m all kinds of sick today so take this.

Posted in Uncategorized |

4 Interesting People From North Dakota

January 24th, 2014 by pladd

Are you sick of hearing about North Dakota yet? TOO BAD because I got a new book on it for Christmas. It’s called Did You Know That…?: 46 Fascinating Stories About People Who Have Lived in North Dakota (vol 4). You may think it’s kind of a weird gift–especially being volume 4 in a series, but my uncle is a whimsical Santa who knows Christmas is the best time to clean out your apartment of random things you don’t want (my cousin received an empty tape dispenser and half a candle). Joke’s on him anyway, because I READ IT. Well, not all of it (yet). Eventually I got bored reading about all the dudes who rode with Custer and skipped ahead to find the ladies (there were 5–this is how history works). But it turns out, some of the people were fascinating! Well, interesting anyway. So I’m giving it to you straight:

1. Isobel Gunn: North Dakota’s First Crossdresser

There aren’t any pictures of her, so here’s another girl-pretending-to-be-a-boy

Isobel Gunn (1780ish-1861) was born in Scotland, and soon decided that being poor sucked. So, she dressed up as a dude and got a job with the Hudson Bay Company to see beautiful Canada! She was found out in 1807 when she gave birth in what is now North Dakota. Like, on the floor of her boss’ house. Awkward. The father was a dude she’d been sharing accommodation with, and he didn’t stay with his small family long. Isobel and the kid were sent back to Scotland, because North Dakota was still No Girls Allowed. Bummer, Isobel.

2. Charles DeRudio: Custer’s Most Ridiculous Officer

And best facial hair

Charles DeRudio is amazing. Here are some reasons why:

1. His real name was Carlo Camillo di Rudio (1832-1910) and his parents were a count and countess in Italy
2. He attempted to assassinate Napoleon III with a bomb in 1858
3. After being sentenced to death for that, his last request was to “smoke a pipe of tobacco,” and while he stood there smoking his reprieve arrived from the empress
4. He was then sentenced to life in prison in French Guyana, but after a year he escaped, stole a boat, and sailed to British Guyana where he was given asylum
5. Even though he eventually worked for Custer, he didn’t die at Little Bighorn because Custer didn’t like him and had him transferred to another company at the last minute
6. Why is there not a movie about this person?

3. Yellowstone Kelly: Noted Badass

He only wore things he killed with his own two hands

They did make a movie about this guy (sort of). Luther Sage Kelly (1849-1928) made a name for himself in Dakota Territory as a respected guide and trapper, sometimes helping to deliver the mail hundreds of miles across treacherous terrain. There’s all the usual stories about him having daring Wild West battles with Native American warriors, but he was also known for being unfailingly honest and humble, rarely speaking, and almost never about himself. The best story about him is:

Having no greeting card, Kelly cut off one of the paws of a grizzly bear he had recently killed, etched his name on the paw, and sent it to General Miles. Miles hired Kelly as his chief scout.

Yeah, I’ll BET he did. You have to take particular notice of anything you receive written on part of a bear.

4. Enos Stutsman: Trying to give ladies the vote since 1868

North Dakota’s cold, alright? Gotta keep the sides of your face warm somehow

Enos Stutsman (1826-1874) must have had a difficult life–he was born without legs, on the frontier in 1826, a setting not known for its ADA compliance. Still, he managed to become a successful lawyer and kind of sketchy land speculator. I guess it’s easy to get around legal restrictions of selling land you don’t actually own when you’re the only lawyer in town. He served in the Dakota Territory legislature at various points, which is where, in 1868, he introduced a bill “to confer upon women the elective franchise and eligibility to office.” It passed in the house, but was defeated in the council (the upper chamber). Supposedly, this bill is the first such attempt at women’s suffrage in the US!

You know I’ll keep you informed of any further North Dakota related developments.

Tagged: lists, North Dakota

Posted in lists |

Some crochet projects

January 21st, 2014 by pladd

I’m slowly working my way through my book of crocheted animals with inept faces. Soon I will have a whole creepy menagerie! This week I made a hippo, because I’m lazy and it only had 8 parts (body+4 legs+2 ears+tail).

He looks slightly less terrifying than the giraffe–maybe I’m improving

Steven was disappointed that his expression wasn’t made of nightmares.

I also finally used up all of that Wiess-colored yarn I bought last year for that ill-advised cardigan!!! I’ve made a few scarves and unfortunate-looking hats with it, but to tackle the rest I had to take on a fairly big project:

It’s an afghan! Kind of

It was stupidly easy to make, just being one giant granny square, but I’m glad it’s done and I can move on to less school-spirity projects. You know how I feel about pep, ugh.

Next I’m going to try to make the elephant!

Tagged: crochet

Posted in Things I've Made, Yarn |

Art-o-Mat

January 17th, 2014 by pladd

I like to take people to the Cary Arts Center when they visit me, because there’s usually something cool in their art gallery. Right now, it’s “Coded Responses” by Mark Nystrom, an interesting collection of artistic data visualization, mostly of wind measurements. But, no matter what’s currently showing in the gallery, the best part of the visit is just outside, at the Art-o-Mat.

It’s a vending machine for art!

Art-o-mats repurpose old cigarette vending machines to dispense art! They’re really cool and retro-looking, and there are a bunch of different locations nationwide. Maybe there’s one near you! At the Cary Arts Center, you pay $5 to get a token from the desk, and select your artist. Each of the slots normally taken up by brands is for a different artist (most local), plus one “mystery surprise” slot, which is, of course, always tempting. Last time I went, there were clay beads, abstract painting, kits for folding paper monsters, and wire sculptures as choices. But I had to pick the one tab that just said “Crystal Ladd”:

This is what you get–they come in little boxes just like cigarettes

It turns out Crystal Ladd is someone’s name! She makes earrings:

They’re cute!

The box usually has the name, email address, and maybe other contact info on it for the artist. In this case there was a link to her etsy store. Also, unlike on other occasions, the box also had candy and a fortune inside!

I’m bad at taking pictures

I was really happy with this outcome–sometimes the Art-o-mat can vary in terms of quality and/or weirdness, but it’s always worth it for entertainment value alone. For instance, I was able to drag Steven to the “Coded Responses” exhibit because it was about data, and he chose the “Mystery” art slot, to receive:

A block with a drawing of Abraham Lincoln?

Truly, the ways of the Art-o-mat are mysterious and fascinating. You should come to Cary to experience them for yourself!

Tagged: art, cary

Posted in Let Me Tell You About My Life |

Brewer’s: A

January 14th, 2014 by pladd

The 79 pages of A in Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable went even faster than I thought. As promised, I took notes of the most interesting things I read about, and here they are:

Adamites: One of a number of small Christian sects, which aimed to revert to man’s primitive state in the Garden of Eden by adopting nudity.

Give me some of that olde tyme religion!

My favorite history is the kind that’s just ridiculous stories, and Brewer’s actually has a lot of that, so get pumped. Another thing I enjoy are explanations for common phrases or sometimes names for things I didn’t know had names:

Addisonian termination: The name given by Richard Hurd, bishop of Worcester (1720-1808), to the construction, frequently employed by the essayist Joseph Addison (1672-1719), which closes a sentence with a preposition, e.g. ‘which the prophet took a distinct view of.’

How many of these have I corrected at work without knowing they had a name? Look out, Korea, I’m about to get even more pretentious about grammar, and it’s all thanks to Brewer’s.

AEIOU: The device adopted by Frederick V, Archduke of Austria, on becoming the Emperor Frederick III in 1440. The letters, used by his predecessor, Albert II, stood for:

Albertus Electus Imperator Optimus Vivat. (Long live Albert, the best elected emperor.)

Frederick interpreted them thus:

Archidux Electus Imperator Optime Vivat. (Long live the Archduke, elected emperor for the best.)

Among other versions are:

Austriae Est Imperare Orbi Universo (It is given to Austria to rule the whole world)
Alles Erdreich Ist Oesterreich Unterthan. (All earth is subject to Austria)

To which wags added after the defeat of Prussia in 1866:

Austria’s Empire Is Ousted Utterly.

I have to start thinking up some Latin phrases to acronym after my name like that! Speaking of really good role models in Brewer’s:

Aetherius: In 1954 His Eminence Sir George King (b.1919) claimed to have been contacted by the Master Aetherius, a power from the planet Venus, who told him to become the Voice of Interplanetary Parliament. The result was the formation of the Aetherius Society, which now has branches worldwide. King, whose titles have not been verified, maintains he has met Jesus Christ, the Buddha, and St. Peter, who all now speak to him and through him. The Society teaches that a race of wise fish on the distant planet Garouche are trying to suck the air away from Earth, so killing all terrestrial life except marine creatures, which supposedly obtain their oxygen from the water. Members of the Society charge up devices known as spiritual batteries by spending a fixed number of hours in prayer.

So there that is

Pretty much every sentence of this entry alone would be cause for inclusion in my “Best of Brewer’s” list, and, with them all there together, it’s going to be hard for any further entry to top this one. I know I have a long way to go (25 more letters!), but this is the standard I’m holding you up to now, Brewer’s, so bring your A-game.

Alexandra limp: In the 1860s Queen Alexandra (then Princess of Wales), after a painful attack of rheumatism in the knee, developed a limp, which was imitated in sycophantic fashion by many women about the court. Hence the ‘Alexandra limp’.

“Stop limping!” “But Mom! All the cool courtiers are doing it!” I love that this is the world I live in.

Brewer’s can also be oddly judgmental for a reference book, but that’s just part of its charm:

Aloha: [a real definition was here]… the spirit of the word can also be visually, if vulgarly, expressed in an ‘aloha shirt’, a loose and brightly colored sports shirt

Vulgar? This guy?

I guess I won’t be getting Brewer’s a Hawaiian shirt for its birthday. Other times, it just gets weirdly specific. For instance, at the end of the April Fool’s definition:

April Fool’s:… Children generally accept that their licence to play tricks expires at noon, but adults take the whole day and may mark the occasion by arranging the delivery of a kissogram or some similar embarrassment.

Have any of you ever once arranged for the delivery of a kissogram? We’ve all been doing April Fool’s wrong and 2014 is the year we have to shape up. Thanks, Brewer’s!

After the word “As” was a four and a half page list of all the common similes that start with the word, such as “as deaf as a post” or:

As deaf as a white cat: It is said that white cats are deaf and stupid.

Pictured: a deaf idiot

As drunk as Davy’s sow: According to Francis Grose’s Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (1785), one David Lloyd, a Welshman who kept an alehouse at Hereford, had a sow with six legs, which was an object of great curiosity. One day David’s wife, having indulged too freely, lay down in the sty to sleep, and a group came to see the sow. David led them to the sty saying as usual, “There is a sow for you! Did you ever see the like?” One of the visitors replied: “Well, it is the drunkenest sow I ever beheld.” The woman was ever after called “Davy’s sow”.

God bless you, random drunk woman, preserved through time for all to behold. Thank you, Brewer’s, for being the keeper of such vital information for ages to come.

Looking forward to B!

Next: B
Previously: Intro

Tagged: 2014 goals, brewer's

Posted in 2014 League of Six |

Etsy for Rich People: Geekery Category

January 10th, 2014 by pladd

So I was looking at rings on Etsy recently because I’m thinking of someday leveling up my wedding ring, and, on a whim, decided to sort results by “Highest Price” to see what would happen. I may never be the same again. I started clicking on different categories only to see what the most expensive thing in them was, and to marvel at the idea of a world where someone has that much money to blow on… that. Other times I was impressed. “Wow, that required so much work and effort to build–I can see someone really treasuring that… if they had an extra $10,000 lying around.” But I’m sure to someone that price is worth it. By far the most interesting were the subcategories within the amorphous “Geekery” heading, and I bring you the best fruits of my search:

This one I actually think is pretty cool

Heading up the “Geekery–>Jewelry” category at most expensive at $2,995 is this R2D2 inspired ring made of 14 karat white gold, sapphires, and diamonds. I’m pretty impressed with how this combines a nerdy subject and indisputable beauty, much like PaulMichaelDesign‘s other work, such as:

This amazing Pokemon ring!

This Pokemon ring was right behind the R2D2 one in the list of most expensive, although the ring in his gallery I most want to replace my current wedding ring is:

A RUBBER DUCK RING!

A steal at only $275!

Turning to the “Weird” subcategory, we find this:

A lifesize bigfoot replica bust, for $1,500

I was kind of confused about what I was looking at, but the item details make it clear:

Custom made to order!

Keep that in mind for next Christmas, rich people reading this! But if you really want to impress me, maybe take a look at the “Accessories” category for:

Tree of Knowledge crocheted “brain blanket”

It’s only $3,600! The item details also describe it as an “idea insulator” and you can’t put a price on a good idea.

The “Clothing” subcategory features the most expensive piece of all:

Custom fit chainmail for ladies!

I actually think this one is way cool and the price is probably justified because that is work intensive to the extreme.

Next up, Housewares, from which I submit to you this delightful pitcher to serve and confuse your guests:

Steel Skull Pitcher

It doesn’t really have a spout, and looks kind of hard to pour out of, but when you’re only paying $1,600 I guess you can’t afford to be choosy.

Another one I found legitimately impressive, from the “Toy” category, this laser-etched birch Settlers of Catan playing board:

With beautiful original artwork

I love this one. I would buy this one (maybe) if $430 weren’t a little steep. I wish he had other board games redesigned in this way.

How about the Science subcategory? From that, I submit to you:

This hand embroidered, scientifically accurate bisected human head

Sure, it’s $1,200, but it’s appropriate for all occasions! Birthdays, Christenings, Valentine’s Day… really anytime you want to show you care.

Finally, the “Kitsch” category. I’m not really sure what that means, and I’m even less sure about what I found there. The most expensive spot is a 5-way tie between 5 different products from the same person, all kind of like this:

Note the item details say it’s made of beads

As near as I can tell, this is the wall tapestry version of those little lizards and turtles and snakes we made as kids with big colorful beads and plastic string. Also this one, and each of its 4 brothers, is $10,000.

But I’m not letting you abandon the Kitsch subcategory just yet. Just below this puzzling beaded art is possibly the best thing I’ve ever seen on Etsy. Are you ready?

It’s a latch-hooked rug of Lex Luthor/Clark Kent forbidden love

According to the seller, it took 9 months to make, measures 18.6″ x 24″, and would make a great hanging “or a very interesting rug, although I can’t imagine anyone wanting to step on those beautiful faces.”

Truly, I know more about the world than I did this morning.

Next: Everything Else Category

Tagged: etsy, lists

Posted in lists |

Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable in a Year

January 7th, 2014 by pladd

I wrote about my 6 goals for 2014 last week, and the one I’ve been most looking forward to is reading all of Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. It’s been around since 1870, though you may not have heard of it because it’s more idiosyncratic than a typical reference book. I have the 16th edition, which was first published in 1999, although this printing is from 2003.

I got it for my birthday that year, actually

I got it for Christmas that year, actually

So I’ve owned this book for about 10 years now, and I’ve only ever read snippets of it. That all changes now, and I’m pretty excited to bring you updates on each letter. But for now, I’ll just start with the prefaces, introductions, and forewords. The latest one is written by Terry Pratchett, so you know we’re talking about something quality, even if you don’t yet know what it is. He describes Brewer’s as “a serendipitous book” because “you might not find what you’re looking for, but you will find three completely unexpected things that are probably more interesting.” Basically, it started as the Wikipedia of the 1870s, full of idioms, Norse gods, and peculiar stories about historical minutia. According to the introduction in my edition (by John Buchanan-Brown), it was instantly popular due to the 19th-century’s Romantic movement and the fact that a surge in literacy had created an intellectually curious public who lacked serious education. In his reference book, Dr. Ebenezer Cobham Brewer presented the results of academic scholarship (particularly about ancient folk customs, language, and beliefs–popular topics in the 1800s) in a simple, easily-accessible format for the general public. Of course, in the subsequent 15 editions, much has been edited, added, and cut. Pratchett writes that the 16th edition includes Gandalf but not “some of the duller nymphs,” which seems like a good compromise. I guess we’ll both learn more about the content as the year goes on!

Here’s the side view, with my pen marking how far I read yesterday

This edition is 1298 pages, which means I need to read about 3.5 pages a day, so my first update (about the letter A, naturally) will have to appear before the end of the month (there are 79 pages in A). Here’s a list of how many pages each letter stretches, from greatest to least:

I definitely wouldn’t have guessed C to have the most

Though, of course, X being the least makes sense. Yesterday I read 15 pages because I didn’t have much to do and knew I’d be grateful later for a buffer. According to my spreadsheet, that means I’m 1.16% finished already! See? This year is going to be a cinch.

Tagged: 2014 goals, brewer's

Posted in 2014 League of Six |