The Plaid Pladd

Some of my spam from this month was even vaguely Halloween themed! And not just because the spelling and grammar was so scary!

On my Banned Books week 2012 post:

oszustwa writes:

Strange this post is totaly unrelated to what I was searching google for, but it was listed on the first page. I guess your doing something right if Google likes you enough to put you on the first page of a non related search.

What can I say, oszustwa? Google totally has a soft spot for sarcastic Sam Neill reviews and challenged books.

Sol Ellinwood writes:

Well, I deduce that could ensue because Abigail and the girls commenced accusing additional folks of witchcraft when they had been recently naked dancing naked in the interior the woods and therefore, aberrant. Abigail furthermore engaged in a affair down with John Proctor. Those they were accusing were absolutely not answerable of accurately what they’d been recently accused linked with, and the exacting accusers had been the furthermost machine on the globe from being holy… they wrecked positive point of reference bogus witness.

I am all for a spirited debate about the Salem Witch Trials, Sol Ellinwood, especially since I once wrote a paper in high school about the moldy bread theory, but Banned Books Week is not the time for that–you should really have saved your challenge for Halloween!

On my What’s happening to My Body? Book for Boys post:

katy perry dress writes:

It’s too severe for a young woman. Embrace the curves, open up the neck, show your legs. You’re beautiful.

Thanks, Katy Perry Dress! I always appreciate compliments and body positivity, although you may have missed the “Book for Boys” part of the title.

Burberry outlet wrote what I can only assume is poetry. I’ve arranged it in the form of a poem for you:

Let us do it by ourselves,
will you?
He lacks courage.
He is my age.
You may as well tell me
the truth.
The teacher got a little angry.
How do you want your steak?
How do you want your steak?
A red tie will match that suit.
What do you desire me to do?
I can’t do this

As good as anything Patricia Willa Anderson used to write for the Rice Standard, Burberry Outlet! In fact, I feel like read the right way, a lot of my spam comments could be mistaken for poetry. Maybe I will try it at the next impromptu poetry slam I hold in my kitchen.

On the Notebook Girls post:

Panama writes:

This week we’re taking a look behind the scenes. In other words, what goes on in our writing or personal lives that you might not know. I thought about my obsession with all things ‘Idol’. Although that’s well documented. And now it’s more than Idol because we have X Factor (UK/USA/Australia); The Voice (UK/USA/Australia), Britains/USA/Australia’s Got Talent…… if there’s singing I’m there!!So, then I decided to talk about my other obsession. Masterchef (yes, it’s always going to be TV related). It’s so bad that when it starts, I drop everything I’m doing to watch. So much so that my critique partners use the term Masterchef when I finish the end of a scene too abruptly – I very often get told ‘You’ve Masterchefed it’. They know that the scene has ended not because it was the right place to do so, but because it’s 5pm!And the funniest thing is, I’m the world’s worst cook. I hate cooking. Though I am very good at burning. But for some strange reason I like watching others do it. My children have dubbed me ‘weird’.I do have other little ‘foibles’, but they’re best not mentioned here….. for fear that the ‘weird’ label might stick!

Wow, Panama, thanks for opening up about your TV obsession. Before all I really knew about you was Panama Canal-related, so this really helps to put a more relatable face on the land bridge between two continents.

On my post about the Gandhi biography, Great Soul:

Buy wow gold writes:

Keep functioning ,fantastic job!

Thanks, Buy wow gold, although maybe I should explain that “keep functioning” doesn’t work as well as a greeting in human parlance as it does in spambot society, since “functioning” is usually used to refer to machines such as yourself. Next time try “Keep it up!” or “Keep breathing, fleshy meatbag!”

On the post about my First Grade Journal:

Danilo writes:

First of all I want to say awesome blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your mind prior
to writing. I’ve had difficulty clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out there. I truly do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are generally lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or hints? Many thanks!

Beginnings are the hardest part, Danilo. That’s why I write all my blog posts backwards.

On my post about the book My Mom’s Having a Baby:

abercrombie hoodie stores writes:

Tremendous issues here. I am very glad to look your post. Thank you a lot and I am having a look ahead to touch you. Will you please drop me a mail?

I’m flattered, abercrombie hoodie stores, but no. As a general rule, I don’t respond to strangers over the Internet asking to touch me.

Previously: September 2012