The Plaid Pladd

I know, usually the vast majority of Vitally Important Questions of Vital Importance that I receive are from my many adoring spambot fans, but lately I’ve gotten a few questions from real people!! Exciting!!

Caitlin M. writes about my last spam post:

How come you get so much spam? I don’t have any. Should I be jealous?

I think one of the main reasons for your lack of spam is that your blog has exciting Captcha technology, while commenting on mine just requires that you type in a (not even necessarily legit) email address. Captcha is designed to keep out just such spam traffic as I am obviously enjoying! Blogger probably sees this as a good design feature–you don’t have to spend time managing your spam folder!–but you are clearly missing out on some vague and misspelled compliments and non sequiturs about handbags.

Also, spambots are apparently way more interested in sarcastic reviews of Sam Neill movies than beautiful pictures of gardens and insightful word-snapshots of life. You just have to provide the content your target audience desires, and if you want to shift your target demographic from thoughtful friends and family to advertising robots, then you’re going to have to buckle down and watch Merlin II like I did. It won’t be easy, but it’s the only way.

Brian R. writes about Ten Years of Journals:

Wonder what a chart of worries over time would look like.

Wish granted:

Look at the sharp decrease in worrying about school right after high school! lol IB and your stress-stomachaches

Rachel K. writes:

I can haz blog post about the crazy new pony hair I saw on facebook?

She’s talking about this:

The blue and purple are maybe too dark to see in this shot

And I WISH I could write a blog post just about this, but ever since he got back from Aveda, Steven has just been working! Like he thinks his job is more important than rainbow hair! What a loser! Anyway, now it’s getting dark, but he promises there will be an amazing rainbow photoshoot tomorrow!

Not to mention pictures of the amazing costumes I am making for this weekend!! You haven’t even seen my new hat yet! I’m not going to say it’s more exciting than rainbow hair, but it’s probably at least 80% as exciting.