December, 2011 | The Plaid Pladd Blog

Archive for December, 2011

2011 Book List: The Bad

December 23rd, 2011 by pladd

As I explained previously, I’m giving you the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of my reading list this year! Here are the worst books I’ve read, which I found because they have the lowest star rating I could give on GoodReads (1).

The Wedding by Danielle Steel
Can two people who are vaguely different make it? Yes, because they have so much boring in common! I read this for class because it was a bestseller (I think in the 90s?). The main character is a Mary Sue named Allegra, and I can’t remember anything else about it besides that I hated her and wanted her to get attacked by flesh-eating bees. Sadly, she got married instead. ONE STAR.

The Birthing House by Christopher Ransom
A creepy ghost whose only power is surprise pregnancy. Terrifying, yes, but not what I want out of my ghost stories. ONE STAR.

Stork by Wendy DelSol
I did a more detailed hate-writeup of this here, but it’s basically Twilight, but with surprise pregnancy instead of vampires. ONE STAR.

Callie’s Rules by Naomi Zucker
I really don’t remember anything about this book or why I hated it. I think it had something to do with the town banning Halloween. Unless that debate involves wild accusations of cannibalism and someone counterattacking with how pagan all Christmas traditions are, I don’t care. ONE STAR.

Twenty Times a Lady by Karyn Bosnak
This book made me sad for women everywhere. Clearly revisiting all your ex-boyfriends because of the arbitrary advice from Cosmo is the best life plan after getting fired. Sure, they were jerks before, but I’m sure they’ve all changed since then. NEGATIVE ONE THOUSAND STARS.

Bones of Faerie by Janni Lee Simner
All I can remember is everyone talking about a way cool fairy/human war that would have made a much better book than this. ONE STAR.

Narcissus in Chains by Lauren K. Hamilton
For some reason, having sex in public is the answer to most of the heroines problems. Also a vampire and a werewolf are vying for her affections. I think my brain has blocked out everything but that. ONE STAR.

Pornified by Pamela Paul
I took off a lot of points for misleading summaries of research and really unscientific research methods. Also I think I was suspicious of a lot of her sources, since I read all of the citations after becoming increasingly skeptical of her findings. (A Billion Wicked Thoughts, which I also read this year, covers porn in much more interesting and scientific way. ONE STAR.

The Alpha Bet by Stephanie Hale
college has only two sororities! One is pure evil and the other is perfect and amazing and fun and everyone is so nice!!! ONE STAR.

One Butt Cheek at a Time by Amber Kizer
I honestly don’t remember anything about this book or why I didn’t like this. But I know I did. I’m going to guess I found the main character irritating.

The Society of Unrelenting Vigilance or Candle Man by Glenn Dakin
I still can’t tell which is the series title and which is the book title. This book annoyed me so much that I actually wrote a review on GoodReads! Here is what it said:

I really wanted to like this book. The title definitely hooked me, and I was interested to see why the main character, Theo, was being imprisoned by the clearly evil Dr. Saint. Unfortunately, the plot quickly slowed to a series of random events which did not mesh seamlessly (or really at all) into a whole plot. Theo himself is completely unlikeable, spending most of the book scared, unsure of himself, and not understanding what is going on around him, making his a very poor narrative point of view. His sidekick, Chloe, is mainly used as a deus ex machina. Each time the author writes himself into a corner–SURPRISE! Chloe is a double agent with secret connections, Chloe has memorized the secret system of tunnels, Chloe has been fighting the evil Society of Good Works since she was six! I can tell the author wants me to find Chloe funny, exciting, and awesome–mostly because Theo spends the whole book telling me she is–but I never found a good enough reason to care about her. I also spent most of the novel confused about the time period. The narrative had a very steampunk feel, but at one point someone hands Theo a laptop. Dakin’s attempt at world-building seems haphazard at best. At the end, a very minor character dies, and we’re told by a tearful Chloe that this character “was the real hero of the story”. Unfortunately, this is true, as this character–appearing in probably two scenes at most and doing nothing in either–was by far my favorite, since she hadn’t appeared often enough to be annoying. What was she like? I have no idea, but almost anything would be better than the “heroes” we have. Hopefully some of these issues are cleared up in the sequel, but I can’t see myself attempting to slog through more of Dakin’s uninspired prose to read.

Vanish by Sophie Jordan
This is the sequel to Firelight, which James convinced me to read. Jacinda spends most of it whining about everything that happens, even when she gets her way. Also, I don’t understand why people who can turn into dragons are so scared of normal humans. YOU CAN TURN INTO A DRAGON. One star.

Continue on to The Ugly

Tagged: 2011, book list, Book Reviews, books

Posted in Book Reviews, lists |

2011 Book List: The Good

December 22nd, 2011 by pladd

According to my GoodReads account, I have read 185 so far in 2011! There were probably some I forgot to record, not to mention the ones I’ve reread, but that’s still pretty good! They even show me a cute little pie chart:

"YA" is my most popular category!

I thought I would show you The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of what I’ve read this year, based on the amount of stars I gave them! Starting with The Good first! These books all got 5 stars from me:

The Alanna Series by Tamora Pierce
I reread these this year and gave them 5 stars mostly for nostalgia purposes. Alanna used to be my favorite book character ever, complete middle school role model. This year I’ve decided I actually like Kel better, but Alanna and her magical lady knight ways will always have a place in my heart.

The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley
Intrepid girl detective/chemist solves two grisly murders! Also there’s pie!

Into the Wild Nerd Yonder by Julie Halpern
Sewing, LARP, D&D, and audio books! I’m pretty sure this book was written specifically for me!

Please Ignore Vera Dietz by A.S. King
Vera solves a few crimes, sees ghosts, and is a badass!

Attachments by Rainbow Rowell
90s nostalgia! A book written in emails! Secret IT love! I’m there.

What the World Eats and other books by Faith D’Alussio and Peter Menzel
This series was amazing! It’s pictures of either a single person or a whole family with the food that they eat for an entire week or day! With explanations about their food choices, living situation, country, where their food comes from etc. I learned so much about other countries from these books! Read the rest of this entry »

Tagged: 2011, book list, Book Reviews, books

Posted in Book Reviews, lists |

Sam Neill Update: Made For TV Movie Edition!

December 14th, 2011 by pladd

You know Sam Neill loves his made for TV movies. Also, this project is now 60% complete!!!

Snow White: A Tale of Terror (tv 1997)

The Movie: This is the story of Snow White but creepier and with better costumes! The dwarves are now an outlaw band of renegade miners (including one hot guy). Snow White’s name is Lilli, and the guy sent to kill her doesn’t so much take pity as gets tired of chasing her pathetically quickly. Also, the handsome prince is a handsome doctor! Steven and I debated the whole movie about whether Sigourney Weaver, the Evil Stepmom, was evil from the beginning or if Young Snow White drove her to it by being terrible. Either way, her creepy possessed mirror definitely commits at least one murder before she is even really married to Sam Neill so there’s that. But she seems to go really nuts after the stillbirth of her child, the heir Sam Neill wants so badly. A lot of her actions seem to be motivated by magically bringing it back to life.

As always, great choice in women, Sam Neill

The Character: Sam Neill plays Snow White’s dad. Unlike the fairy tale, he doesn’t die, but does suffer a bad accident which hurts his leg. Then Sigourney Weaver goes full on crazy, poisons(?) everyone in the castle, and hangs him upside down in the chapel to bleed him for some kind of dead-raising black sabbath. Luckily Snow White and her hot new outlaw miner BF arrive in time to save him! I was expecting his character to be somewhat bumbling and oblivious, but he was actually pretty normal.

Well, apart from his taste in clothing

What I Learned: Hot outlaw miners know way more about how to tell if people are really dead than hot doctors!

Would I Watch Again?: Probably not, unless it was to study the costumes, which were pretty awesome!

Forgotten Silver (TV 1995)

Netflix basically tricked me into watching this

The Movie: So this is actually a mockumentary, back when those were less common and Peter Jackson was way less famous. Apparently when it was first aired on TV people were pissed when they found out it was hoax. It was less over the top than other mockumentaries I’ve seen, so I get why they might have been confused. It follows the life of Colin McKenzie, a “forgotten” New Zealand filmmaker at the very birth of filmmaking in the early 20th century. It was actually pretty funny and interesting, tying the fake story in with real historical events and people.

The Character: Sam Neill actually plays himself, which is why this movie wasn’t originally on my spreadsheet. Netflix, which has finally seemed to detect the pattern underlying all of my recent movie selections, suggested it to me. Sam Neill is one of many real famous people who are interviewed to talk about their own experiences with Colin McKenzie’s work and what they think his affect has been on the film industry.

What I Learned: Richard Pearse, famous New Zealand aviator, may have beaten the Wright brothers into the air, although there is little proof besides some witness accounts. It’s easy to forget that lots of people all over the world were working on how to fly at the same time!

Would I watch again?: I think so. The fake black and white footage was pretty entertaining and the story it told, though fiction, was still interesting. Plus, it’s funny to imagine the hundreds of people totally believing all of it.

The Incredible Journey of Mary Bryant (TV 2005)

I couldn't go a whole post without watching something based on a true story

The Movie: Mary is a young, pregnant, starving thief who is sentenced to transportation to Australia at the very start of the New South Wales penal colony. Both the journey and conditions when they get there are looking pretty grim. Luckily Mary finds love with a hot smuggler, Will Bryant, and they get prison married! Jack Davenport is a young lieutenant virtually identical to his character in Pirates of the Caribbean in that he sticks to his ideals and then loses the girl of his dreams to someone who is hotter and looser in the moral department. Mary decides that this is no place to raise her children and organizes a crazy escape attempt, making it all the way to the Dutch Indies before being caught and sent back to England for trial. Luckily everyone loves her so she gets off!! Yay!!

Sam Neill mostly wears a lot of wigs

The Character: Sam Neill plays Arthur Phillip, the governor of the penal colony! He’s kind of a jerk in that when a massive night of rape breaks out, he says “Just let it run its course” and orders his men to protect the food. Another time, when confronted with violent natives, he commands one of his men to take his pants off “so that they can see we’re men, same as them. Otherwise they might think us women.”

It's the hair, Sam. And the shiny gold decorations

Previously: Space Edition!
Next: Angst Edition!

Tagged: movie reviews, movies, sam neill

Posted in Project Series, Sam Neill Marathon |

Man-Footed: How I Learned to Stop Fearing Shoe Shopping and Own It

December 9th, 2011 by pladd

I have big feet. I’ve been a women’s size 11 since the 9th grade. The most common response I get when I tell people this is a confused “Really?” I guess maybe they’re expecting ridiculous looking clown feet that stick out weirdly, and mine don’t look particularly odd or disproportionate. I’m about 5’8, which is around two inches shorter than two of my best friends, although my shoe size is one larger. But, really, if you look at the numbers the difference isn’t that dramatic. Size 11 shoes are about 10.625 inches long and Size 10 shoes are usually about 10.25 inches. One of many unsympathetic shoe salesladies in the ongoing misery that was my highschool shoe shopping experience told me that the average woman wore size 7, which is about 9.5 inches long. That’s only a difference of 1.125 inches! 1.125 hated inches that had me wearing men’s (size 9.5) shoes throughout highschool. Sneakers are pretty gender neutral so probably no one could tell, but I knew and felt like a man-footed freak. I know because I wrote it in my journal at the beginning of each school year after another tearful shoe shopping trip.

"I AM A MAN-FOOTED FREAK!!!!" underlined nine times in purple gel pen.

And, of course, it got even worse when I actually had to shop for shoes specifically made for women. Like, say, for prom. I guess I was lucky that I was only Size 11, which seems to be generally the upper limit of shoe size you can find at all at stores, even if pickings are slim. Still, forget shopping at any store where a sample of one shoe is out on display and the employees have to fetch particular sizes from the back–it will always, even today, be a parade of almost Cheese Shoppian disappointment. The only places my poor, determined mother and I would have any luck were stores like Rack Room Shoes or Shoe Carnival, where the entire inventory is out in giant stacks for you to peruse, sometimes with the “unusual” sizes like 11 marked with a bright sticker. My strategy, honed through many such outings, is to never look at the shoes, instead hunting only for that sticker. I think if you have more “normal” sized feet you’re allowed to do it the other way, but I’ve learned it’s the best way to avoid disappointment, especially back then when higher sizes were even rarer. Often I would be choosing between only two or three shoes in the entire store, and if I didn’t like the color or height or stupid beading, too bad. I started to loathe all of the cute, sparkly shoes for sale in the stores at the mall my friends liked to shop at, because, even in catalogs, the highest size offered was always size 10. I remember getting the dELiA’s catalog in the mail and just despairing over the beautiful, perfect shoes I could never wear since it always said “Sizes 5-10”. Now, of course, I would be suspicious of buying anything from a company that plays so fast and loose with capitalization, but, at 14, it was heart-breaking.

Luckily, things have gotten better. More stores are offering more choices in size 11! Even my old nemesis dELiA’s has an “extended sizes” section that offers sizes 11 and 12-13. There are far fewer choices but at least they’re recognizing that we larger-footed sizes exist. Lately I’ve bought a lot of shoes at Target, where I can usually find almost any shoe in their shoe department in my size! The day I bought my first pair of cute, girly flip flops it was a HUGE deal after a lifetime of wearing boring men’s sandals. I told the checkout girl all about it; she didn’t really seem to understand the immensity of the occasion. Apparently the average women’s shoe size has been increasing steadily, so hopefully shoe manufacturers will catch the hell up soon.

The three pairs of shoes I wear most often: blue men's athletic shoes my brother left here, converses, and black ballet flats from Target!

Recently, I went shopping for shoes for my wedding! At the Converse outlet store. It was the single greatest shoe shopping trip of my life!!! There’s no distinguishing between women’s and men’s converse; each box lists both sizes together and 9.5, my equivalent size in men’s, is a totally common size!!!! I could choose from any color and style in the entire store!!! It was the best day ever!!! Rob, who was with me, seemed really confused by my sheer exuberance, but probably just thought I was super excited to be getting married. Which I was!! But I was also fulfilling highschool Patricia’s dream of being able to shop for shoes like a normal person, being able to choose between more than three things, being able to find the perfect shoe for the occasion, exactly what I pictured in my head. And for it to be in my size.

Perfection!

So, things are getting better, but they’re still not great. I got to fulfill Highschool Patricia’s dream, but I still had to do it by being man-footed. Before deciding on Converses, I went into two Rack Rooms to look for more normal, strappy girl sandals or heels, and found a grand total of one pair between them both. True, if my heart was set on it, I probably could’ve found something that would have worked online, after expanding at least twice the time and effort of someone with stumpier feet, but why should I have to do that? At one of the Rack Rooms (the one with nothing) one of the salesladies asked me if I needed help and I explained that I wear size 11. She actually seemed quite apologetic and told me that she was sorry they were out of their admittedly very sparse stock in that size. I shrugged and said I was used to it, and she agreed saying “I know it must be hard to find shoes for you, I’m sorry”. But maybe I’ve matured since the bitter highschool years or maybe I’ve just gotten used to it, because all I said was, “I don’t mind. I’m sturdy.” Which is kind of how I’ve come to look at it. One of my best friends in high-school, trying to cheer me up, told me that she thought “man-footed” sounded like a term of endearment, and from now on I’m going to see it as such. Yeah, it’s a huge pain finding shoes in my size, but at least it’s harder to knock me over. At least I can go on hikes and do wicked kickboxing kicks and all the other amazing things my feet can do for me. Plus, I rock those man shoes so whatever.

Sure, dainty tiny feet are probably prettier, but, like my Viking ancestors, I was built to pillage some awesome loot and show those frost giants who’s boss. Which is just as good, and probably more fun, than being Cinderella and worrying about having feet small enough to fit into some prince’s (or society’s) silly expectations of femininity.

Tagged: High School Patricia, shoes, shopping

Posted in Uncategorized |

Honeymoon Adventures!

December 6th, 2011 by pladd

Brian pointed out to me this weekend that I have yet to talk about the adventures I had on my honeymoon!! I think he was being sly, but he should know that the Ladd way is to take people completely seriously until you win (ex: my dad refusing to acknowledge that the word ‘cool’ has more than one meaning for the past twenty years).

The theme of our honeymoon seemed to be conquering fears of heights! I didn’t think I had any fears about heights, but that was before being suspended thousands of feet in the air under a giant balloon and some fire. It’s scarier than you think!!

Hot air ballooning!

It was also really, really fun! It was surprising how still and peaceful the air is way up there, and how much you can hear! Dog barks kept filtering up to us–apparently seeing hot air balloons really freaks them out.

I was so happy that we got the rainbow colored balloon!

I was surprised by how small the basket was, especially the sides! They came up to just below hip height so I was terrified of accidentally falling out.

I'm clinging to the side for dear life and we're not even off the ground

We had to get up before sunrise and it was super cold!

Luckily there was a big fire above me to keep warm!

Unfortunately there are no pictures of Steven because I was too afraid to let go to grab the camera!!

It’s a lot like sailing, which I guess makes sense, but I hadn’t thought about it like that before. You can control your height, but not your direction, so we landed in a random yard. Super exciting!! Read the rest of this entry »

Tagged: adventures, ballooning

Posted in Uncategorized |

Thanksgiving: All Star Edition!

December 2nd, 2011 by pladd

I know it was last week, but I wanted to update you on the awesome success of Thanksgiving: All Star Edition!!! The main thing I had to cook was Steven’s entree pick, Chicken Noodle Casserole, but luckily I did most of the work the night before! This gave Steven free reign of the kitchen for some intense appetizer making: