Yesterday I decided my mission was to buy Steven an early Christmas present: the fluffiest, softest, best bathrobe ever. Since we are going to glorious H-Town for Christmas, I figured I might not have room in my suitcase for a glorious bathrobe, since I was planning on buying one made out of the soft wool of at least fifty lambs. So I feel no guilt for this early Christmas gift-giving.
Unfortunately, to do this, we had to go to the mall, which is basically the absolute worst place to be the Sunday before Christmas. Actually it’s a lot like Dawn of the Dead, but with more zombies.
Everyone was kind of scary and aggressive, and were it not for my Florida theme park-bred abilities to negotiate crowds effectively, Steven and I might still be trapped there amidst the badly echoing “live” Christmas music. Luckily I am awesome and after much questing, we got what we came for.
And everyone knows going to the mall the Sunday before Christmas takes bravery, fortitude, cunning, feats of strength, and noble bearing. Basically, we are knights now is what I’m saying.
Steven is also trying out a new hat, as you can see. Usually he only wears classy fedoras like some kind of private detective (picture pending) so it is a big step.