Archive for December, 2010
The Year In Pictures: 2010
December 31st, 2010 by
Tagged: 2010, pictures
New Year’s Resolution: Letter Writing Project
December 28th, 2010 bySo, normally, I am not one for New Year’s Resolutions. In fact, my feelings about them have already been summed up in musical form by Rhett and Link:
However, this year, I have been inspired! After reading about a bunch of different people who wrote a letter to a different person every day for a year, I have decided to rekindle my love affair with the USPS. Yeah, we’ve flirted pretty regularly for the past twenty years, and a few times I thought it was going to turn into a more serious thing. Then I hooked up with the Royal Mail while in Scotland and it stopped speaking to me for awhile, but I am making a resolution that this year will be different. I am going to win back USPS the only way I can think of: by writing a letter to a different person every day for a month in January.
I know, it’s not as cool as for a whole year, but I want to start off slow. Can’t rush these things; wouldn’t want the USPS to feel pressured into entering into some sort of commitment. So I’m just going for a month. This still means that I will need 31 separate people to send letters to, which is less than my number of facebook friends, but more than the number of entries in my address book.
So, if you would like to be the recipient of an awesome letter sometime in January, email/facebook message me your address! Or maybe I already have it and you will receive a letter WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT! Ha ha. Fools.
Tagged: letters, resolutions, USPS love
Christmas Times is Serious Times!
December 24th, 2010 byThis year I am at Steven’s house for Christmas, something that everyone is treating as this big dramatic thing, when in reality this is at least the third time it’s happened. But I have quickly discovered that I can easily get things by whining that “it’s just not Christmas without ice cream for breakfast” etc. As I learned from the claymation Community Christmas special, Christmas means different things to different people (“Remote control Christmas pterodactyl!!!“), and to me, I’m always reminded of three things. I wish I had pictures, but alas, you will have to use the power of your imagination!
Gingerbread Men Ornaments
Until I was about ten, my mom would always make these gingerbread ornaments for the Christmas tree. The recipe was a little different than for cookies you are supposed to eat, and I was warned multiple times when younger that they were NOT FOR EATING and POISON! I was convinced that eating even a little bit would have killed me instantly. There were gingerbread men and also gingerbread hearts that had people’s names or “Merry Christmas” written on them in a similar NOT FOR EATING kind of frosting. The tree would smell like tree AND gingerbread, and it was fun to make new decorations every year. Then we moved to Florida and having food on a tree inside the house only attracted all kinds of bugs. That, and my brother’s allergies, necessitated moving the tree to the enclosed back porch, which brought on one of my most vivid and most terrifying Christmas memories ever.
Since the small bugs that can get into the enclosed back porch weren’t really a problem, it was the humidity that eventually brought about the retiring of this Christmas tradition. Because Florida Christmases tend to be somewhat balmy, the gingerbread men soon fell apart in the repressive moisture found in the Florida air. Since their weakest point is their narrow necks, the Christmas tree would be surrounded by decapitated gingerbread bodies, the tree itself strewn with their severed heads. It was like gingerbread Vikings had attacked our tree and made examples of all the gingerbread menfolk. After a few years of this, my mom gave up the gingerbread decorations. It’s weird that I still think about them every Christmas–and about the horrific aftermath of gingerbread carnage I’ve witnessed.
A Christmas Story
This movie is my dad’s absolute favorite movie ever, possibly. Half of it is because it’s funny, the other half is because my mom hates it. I think she feels too much empathy for Ralphie, feeling bad for him when Santa pushes him down the slide, when his mom makes him wear the horrible pink bunny suit. Or maybe she feels bad for the mother character who has to deal with her husband’s obsession with the tacky leg lamp, her Christmas dinner being eaten by the neighbor’s dog, and her authority undermined by her husband who buys Ralphie the coveted Red Rider BB Gun, even though she keeps insisting that “you’ll shoot your eye out”.
Come to think of it, my mom probably has the most experience dealing with a spouse who only likes tacky, awkward things.
The movie itself is good, I like it, and think everyone should see it at least once. But it’s not really about the movie. It’s about having the movie on 24/7 on Christmas Eve, having it in the background of everything, and having my mom complain and my dad glory at the “best parts”–which are, of course, the parts that annoy my mom. I feel like I could almost recite this movie, I’ve seen it so often.
Michigan Rummy
My family is super serious about Michigan Rummy. You know you’re grown up when you graduate to playing by yourself instead of as on a team with some adult. It’s part skill but a lot of luck, and we usually play for pennies, kept in a tupperware in my brother’s closet for this express purpose. The only downside of the game is that it’s more fun with more people, so I only get to play at times when there are 5-9 people around, times like Christmas. Hopefully I will be able to convince Steven’s family that it is the best thing ever! I have been saving my pennies.
So, yeah, that is Christmas in my heart: gingerbread carnage, my dad being happy that my mom is vaguely annoyed, and gambling. So festive right now!
Tagged: Christmas, memories
13 Adventures: #13 A Kid In King Arthur’s Court
December 22nd, 2010 byYou may think that this is kind of an anticlimactic last adventure to my 13 Adventures series. But then you probably don’t understand the entire awesomeness that is A Kid In King Arthur’s Court!
I have never been so glad (and shocked) that something made the jump from VHS! Here is the sitch, if, for some reason, you’ve never seen this masterpiece:
Calvin, that guy from American Pie, needs to learn a valuable lesson about standing up for himself and courage and all that. Then an earthquake/half-dead wizard’s spell transports him to an extremely loose adaptation of King Arthur’s Court!! Unfortunately, the aging King Arthur is being bamboozled by Lord Belasco, he of the enormous forehead, and Merlin tells Calvin from where he is astrally projected onto well water that if Calvin saves Camelot, Merlin will help him find a way home. So Calvin trains to be a knight with Daniel Craig, the Master at Arms, and Arthur’s youngest daughter, Katie, while his eldest daughter, Kate Winslet, is being CRUELLY SOLD OFF as the prize in a tournament all the while cross dressing as the mysterious Black Knight to Robin Hood the shit out of Camelot’s surrounding towns.
The best part about this movie is the fact that everyone finds Calvin’s odd speech, clothes, and backpack full of 1990s tricks charming instead of demonic. Instead of being burned as a witch, he is able to introduce Camelot to: CD players, rollerskates, bubble gum, super glue, bicycles, 90s slang, and hamburgers. He also seems to know a lot about how to smelt things?
My favorite scene is where Calvin makes Princess Katie a hamburger with tomatoes, which she calls “poisonous love apples”, which, I swear, Steven and I have debated the historical accuracy of on at least two separate occasions. She tries the hamburger for the first time and says, “Good! I mean… BAD!” since Calvin has previously explained that “If something’s good than it’s bad, if it’s cool than it’s hot!” I sometimes still feel the urge to say things are “Good… I mean BAD!” after tasting things Steven cooks for the first time.
“Tis not heart burn… tis heart ache! You are in love, little one!” As you might expect, Calvin is totes crushing on Princess Katie, and Kate Winslet ends up getting together with Daniel Craig, even though he is only a lowly Master at Arms! Yay! I’m glad Camelot’s only aggressor in Arthur’s twilight years is an vaguely Mediterranean Lord with a huge forehead, instead of, you know, that whole Mordred thing or the Guinevere/Lancelot adultery fiasco.
Tagged: adventures, childhood, king arthur, movies
13 Adventures: #12 Rainbow Bookcase
December 21st, 2010 byI’ve always wanted to rearrange my books by color. Especially when someone comes to the library and asks something along the lines of “I can’t remember the title or the author or what it’s about but the color is dark blue”. Unfortunately, I can’t rearrange the whole library by color (amazing April Fool’s Day prank idea, though), but I can do my bookshelves!
A lot of my books are still in boxes in a closet at home, but Steven brought most of his so we still have a lot here. Luckily Steven also brought some sizable bookshelves that he made, which is where most of our books live; the rest are in stacks in Steven’s office upstairs. Here is what the bookshelves looked like before:
Vaguely arranged by subject/author
So I took everything down and made stacks of colors, generally following good old ROY G BIV, except adding white on one side and brown, black, and gray on the other.
It doesn't really look like a rainbow because I was arranging by spine color, not cover color
Then, after giving everything a quick dust, Tra-la!:
Turns out, black is our most predominant book color
I noticed most of those were Steven’s science fiction books, and some Penguin Classics as well. Plus a lot of my composition books, natch.
The light in our living room is kind of weird, so you may have to trust me on how awesome it looks in person
At first I was really bothered about shades and spines with more than one color, but when you step back and look at it as the whole, that stuff doesn’t matter as much. I’m really happy with how it turned out!! You should totes try this is you have enough time/books.
Tagged: adventures, books
13 Adventures: #11 Peanut Butter Blossoms
December 21st, 2010 byPeanut butter blossoms are, hands down, my favorite Christmas cookie, and have been for as long as I remember. Since I’m not going home for Christmas, I decided to make my own today! My favorite part, besides eating them, is taking all the Hershey’s Kisses out of their foil wrappings. It’s like unwrapping a bunch of tiny presents!
I put them in this box so I could pour them over Steven later and shout "It's snowing shininess!"
Putting the kisses on top after they’re right out of the oven is also really fun! They turned out great:
Beautiful!!
Tagged: cookies, cooking, things I've made
13 Adventures: #10 Bathrobe Hunt
December 20th, 2010 byYesterday I decided my mission was to buy Steven an early Christmas present: the fluffiest, softest, best bathrobe ever. Since we are going to glorious H-Town for Christmas, I figured I might not have room in my suitcase for a glorious bathrobe, since I was planning on buying one made out of the soft wool of at least fifty lambs. So I feel no guilt for this early Christmas gift-giving.
Unfortunately, to do this, we had to go to the mall, which is basically the absolute worst place to be the Sunday before Christmas. Actually it’s a lot like Dawn of the Dead, but with more zombies.
The original with the helicopter, not the remake with the dog
Everyone was kind of scary and aggressive, and were it not for my Florida theme park-bred abilities to negotiate crowds effectively, Steven and I might still be trapped there amidst the badly echoing “live” Christmas music. Luckily I am awesome and after much questing, we got what we came for.
Steven told me I was way weird for taking pictures of him trying on bathrobes, but I told him I NEEDED photographic evidence of adventurousness
And everyone knows going to the mall the Sunday before Christmas takes bravery, fortitude, cunning, feats of strength, and noble bearing. Basically, we are knights now is what I’m saying.
Steven is also trying out a new hat, as you can see. Usually he only wears classy fedoras like some kind of private detective (picture pending) so it is a big step.
Tagged: adventures, Christmas, hats, shopping
13 Adventures: #9 Southern Season
December 18th, 2010 bySo this is kind of a lame adventure because I didn’t bring my camera, but it is the only thing remotely adventurous I did today, besides play Super Mario 64, which is even less visually appealing. So: Southern Season is this giant store that sells gourmet food plus lots of tableware, but I never go in that section. They also have cooking utensils, pots, and pans, all extremely overpriced, plus greeting cards, some North Carolina/UNC merchandise, and a fancy restaurant attached. Do not be fooled by any of these add-ons. It is really all about the food.
And, for me, even more specifically, all about the chocolate. They have a massive chocolate counter where you can get almost anything from Godiva to locally made truffles. Plus another whole aisle of chocolate bars with anything from mint to pink peppercorns to bacon to varying kinds of sea salt in them. Personally, I am a huge fan of salty chocolate so I always stop here, at least to look! There’s also a section with international candy/treats and kinds that are hard to find now, like Fruit Stripe gum. My other favorite thing to get here is from the locally-made/North Carolina section, Carolina Moonshine Crunch. It is basically chex mix covered in white chocolate. I used to get almost the same thing when I was younger at this macadamia farm–except there it also had macadamia nuts in it and was called “White Trash”. Today we were mostly getting Christmas presents, but since we were stuck behind these meandering old people right next to the Carolina Moonshine Crunch I assumed it was a sign that I should buy some for myself. Basically, it is like eating a dream.
Also available at Southern Season: a cutting board shaped like North Carolina (guaranteed to make your bread or cheese taste 30% more like lighthouses and the Daniel Boone). Lighthouses and Daniel Boone are what North Carolina is all about.