June, 2010 | The Plaid Pladd Blog

Archive for June, 2010

Book Reviews: Bones of Faerie

June 22nd, 2010 by pladd

While out of town, I brought along, among other things, Janni Lee Simner’s Bones of Faerie.

Using the currently popular Twilightesque cover art style of "something vague on black"

Naturally, I chose this for the cover art. I’m ashamed to admit it, but the Twilight art style works on me. Part of me thinks half the reason for Twilight‘s popularity is its cover art (despite the fact that it is blatant false advertising).

So maybe my selection process (judging a book by its cover) was the one thing traditional librarian archetypes are urging us NEVER to do (that, and to use our library voices), so I shouldn’t have expected too much. I will say this, the premise of the book was pretty baller. There aren’t nearly enough stories about killer trees in this world. I think the main problem with this book is that I felt like I was reading a sequel to a much better book that I’d rather be reading instead. Here’s the sitch:
Read the rest of this entry »

Tagged: books, librarians, twilight

Posted in Book Reviews |

3 Librarian Skills They Don’t Teach You In Grad School

June 15th, 2010 by pladd

So there are plenty of skills every librarian needs to know that they don’t teach you in grad school (basically EVERY skill librarians need to know, it seems like so far), but here are three that have come up for me recently:

1. Working and Cleaning Popcorn Machines

Now made with real fake butter!

These old-fashioned style popcorn machines are loud, messy, and verging on a health hazard, so naturally all libraries seem to have them. The popcorn is made with a suspiciously neon powder, the smell of which is supposed to “draw the most crowds” according to the packet. For some reason, most of the librarians at my new internship have little to no experience with the popcorn machine, so I stepped up to put my Vast Seminole Library Popcorn Expertise to good use. Frankly, I think most of them are pretending to not know how it works to get out of cleaning it. They will never know the joy of working a further seven hours with your hands covered in greasy metal burns and having everyone you talk to ask what smell is making them so hungry. It’s my new perfume, you guys!

2. Art Skillz
This skill is not just relegated to the land of children’s librarianship. Even reference librarians have to make signs and displays on occasion. However, coloring, cutting, and constructing puppets out of recyclables are all things they do not teach in even the children-focused grad school classes. It’s a pity because these skills are WAY, WAY more useful than taking a week to determine what kind of leader you are by taking personality quizzes and it will inevitably end in puppets that look something like this:
buttonalice
As found on Etsy and Regretsy.

3. How to Deal with Crazy People
For some reason, grad school assumes that (if they mention the actual patrons you’ll supposedly be serving, which is rarely) everyone who comes into the library will be friendly and affable, with a healthy thirst for knowledge and no fixed schedule. I think once my reference professor mentioned that sometimes people get grumpy if they’re in a hurry. No one has yet mentioned how sometimes you have to deal with the same drunk lady that comes in some Thursday nights, sobbing, and asking for Nancy Drew over and over, even after you’ve shown her the section twice.

Maybe she just couldn't get over the Clue in the Clock

No one talks about how to handle the woman who demands a book on divorce for a four-year-old, “preferably titled Because Daddy’s a Good-For-Nothing Ass“. Or the guy who hides in the stacks to shout Star Wars quotes at random intervals. Or the boy who systematically takes all the books about hurricanes, one by one, and hides them in various places around the room such as under the cushions of chairs or in the bathroom sink.

If I ever become Dean of a library school, I will institute at least one course in all of these things. Wall-moving, furniture arrangement, and soda pouring can be an extra credit project in the popcorn class.

Tagged: libraries, lists

Posted in lists |

Nostalgia Bus: Rice Roommate Forms

June 4th, 2010 by pladd

My brother called me today, asking for advice on filling out his Rice roommate form. This instantly brought back a tide of shame at how lame mine was, and I got it out to make him feel better about his own (I naturally pasted it into my journal after they gave it back to us senior year with “WHY ARE YOU BAD AT FILLING OUT FORMS?” written under it in giant marker block letters.) My only explanation is that I was still looking at it as An Important College Form, having spent a year filling similar things out, and so tried to be as serious as possible. Also, High School Patricia was the most boring person on the face of the earth. Except for that whole published novel thing, I don’t know.

Anyway, in an attempt to make myself feel better, I’ve decided to fill out the Rice Roommate Form again. I’m including High School Patricia’s answers to make the comparison of how awesome I’ve become even more poignant. I’ve skipped the stuff that hasn’t changed, like my birthday and how tall I am.

PLEASE DESCRIBE YOUR FAMILY:
High School Patricia: Fairly average with a tinge of eccentricity
Like a sitcom except that it’s impossible to tell who is playing the Straight Man

WHAT ARE YOUR ACADEMIC INTERESTS?
High School Patricia: English literature, history
Library science, speculative zoology, mad science, adventure archeology

WHAT ARE YOUR EXTRACURRICULAR INTERESTS? HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR SPARE TIME?
Reading, writing, library volunteer work, storytelling
Being too cool for school, watching bad movies, making cupcakes that look like dinner

FOR EACH OF THE FOLLOWING ITEMS WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT YOUR FAVORITE IS AND WHY…
BOOK:
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (High School Patricia apparently thought this was self-explanatory)
Running in the Family by Michael Ondaatje–I like a man who can complain about his family in poetry

MOVIE:
Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail
Twilight with RiffTrax–“Like, what, and stuff?”

FOOD:
Apple pie (cold)
Steven-made sandwiches or improbably fancy chocolate

HANG OUT
Borders
Carrboro–can’t beat seeing people walking ferrets on the street

HOW ARE YOU SPENDING YOUR SUMMER?
Working in the children’s department of the library
Fighting crime, time travel, wearing a variety of stupid hats

WHAT TYPES OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? (LIST A FEW GROUPS/BANDS…)
Beatles, Great Big Sea, the Rutles
Lady Gaga, Jonathon Coulton, Jeremy Messersmith

DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM VACATION
Touring famous sites from English literature and having afternoon tea whenever possible
Hot air balloon paint ball war

WHAT THREE PEOPLE, REAL OR FICTIONAL, WOULD YOU HAVE OVER FOR DINNER AND WHY?
Gordon Ramsay, because someone will have to cook the food, Eleanor of Aquitaine, because I want to know if she invented flossing, and Rhett Butler
Teddy Roosevelt, Silas J. Mariner, and Mark Twain. They know how to party.

IF YOUR HOUSE WERE ON FIRE, WHAT THREE INANIMATE OBJECTS WOULD YOU SAVE?
My laptop, favorite pen, and Sydney (top hat and close personal friend).
Laptop, favorite pen, and Sydney (top hat and close personal friend)
This one also makes me sound lame, but, damn it, that pen cost like $200 and how else am I going to keep up this famous author facade?

WHAT QUALITIES DO YOU SEEK IN A FRIEND?
Loyalty, honest, wit, intelligence
The ability to shoot laser beams with their eyes, sense of humor

IF YOU COULD HAVE A ROMANTIC OR TORRID RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE, REAL OR FICTIONAL, MODERN OR HISTORIC, WITH WHOM WOULD IT BE AND WHY?
Napoleon Bonaparte, because he had a very impressive hat
Marie Curie, to break Michael Curtis’ cold, Danish heart

I think High School Patricia was just confused about how to fill out forms/was morally incapable of lying on an official looking piece of paper, especially for comedic effect. Good thing I got over that one quick.

Tagged: forms, High School Patricia, nostalgia, Rice

Posted in Things I've Made, Writing |