Last time we took a tour of the most expensive things you can buy on Etsy in the “Geekery” section. I felt like the best section to follow that would be “Everything Else,” a hodgepodge of random listings that wouldn’t fit anywhere else. And one of the subheadings is “Taxidermy” so you know this is going to be good.
Everything Else–>Educational
The educational section seems to be kind of a mix of teaching supplies and instructions for things. The most expensive item listed right now is this:
The description claims that “IT training includes website creation and Internet marketing,” and that’s all the information you get.
Everything Else–>Magic
The Magic section has the crystals and tarot card readings you’d expect. The most expensive item is this 6-month psychic therapy session for $5,500:
Apparently you’ll meet for an hour on Skype once a week, and she’ll assign you homework to turn your life around! I feel like I already do that for people under the guise of my conversational English lessons. Clearly I need to up my prices.
Everything Else–>Metaphysical
In this section, you can pay $21,370 for a painting full of healing energy that will bring you happiness and longevity:
It also comes with a certificate to prove how much healing energy it has.
Everything Else–>Personalized
This one is actually super cool, but I’m not sure why it’s in the Personalized section:
$3,650 isn’t that bad for something forged, right?
Everything Else–>Religious
Bringing it in the Religious section is this “very large chanukah menorah” at only $4,450:
Made of bronze, straight from Jerusalem!
Everything Else–>Custom
In the custom section, we find a dude trying to sell his patent for a light-up fence:
Sorry to disappoint you, but the asking price is ACTUALLY $1,000,000 US dollars. $250,000 is apparently the largest price Etsy will allow.
Everything Else–>Taxidermy
Taxidermy yes!!!!! And I’m not disappointed:
This $8,500 articulated cow skeleton would make “a great gift for a veterinary student or for yourself” and will be “at home in any collection of veterinary specimans, bones and skulls, or for the discerning cow owner.” Thank you, Taxidermy section.
Everything Else–>Weird
Alright, time for weirdness! The most expensive is at Etsy’s top allowable price ($250,000), and I don’t really understand what I’m looking at:
The description doesn’t really help me out either:
My favorite part of the Weird section was definitely this steal at $100,000:
“He was solely focused on the art of being fat and purple back then, man.”
Well, that wraps up this session of Etsy for Rich People. Try to contain your burgeoning fortunes till next time, when I’ll show you some more ridic things you can buy
Previously: Geekery
Thank you so much for writing this; I had forgotten the ridiculousness that is etsy and my life is definitely fuller for knowing
And yes I am reading your blog entries in reverse order DONT JUDGE ME