The Plaid Pladd

So I was looking at rings on Etsy recently because I’m thinking of someday leveling up my wedding ring, and, on a whim, decided to sort results by “Highest Price” to see what would happen. I may never be the same again. I started clicking on different categories only to see what the most expensive thing in them was, and to marvel at the idea of a world where someone has that much money to blow on… that. Other times I was impressed. “Wow, that required so much work and effort to build–I can see someone really treasuring that… if they had an extra $10,000 lying around.” But I’m sure to someone that price is worth it. By far the most interesting were the subcategories within the amorphous “Geekery” heading, and I bring you the best fruits of my search:

This one I actually think is pretty cool

Heading up the “Geekery–>Jewelry” category at most expensive at $2,995 is this R2D2 inspired ring made of 14 karat white gold, sapphires, and diamonds. I’m pretty impressed with how this combines a nerdy subject and indisputable beauty, much like PaulMichaelDesign‘s other work, such as:

This amazing Pokemon ring!

This Pokemon ring was right behind the R2D2 one in the list of most expensive, although the ring in his gallery I most want to replace my current wedding ring is:

A RUBBER DUCK RING!

A steal at only $275!

Turning to the “Weird” subcategory, we find this:

A lifesize bigfoot replica bust, for $1,500

I was kind of confused about what I was looking at, but the item details make it clear:

Custom made to order!

Keep that in mind for next Christmas, rich people reading this! But if you really want to impress me, maybe take a look at the “Accessories” category for:

Tree of Knowledge crocheted “brain blanket”

It’s only $3,600! The item details also describe it as an “idea insulator” and you can’t put a price on a good idea.

The “Clothing” subcategory features the most expensive piece of all:

Custom fit chainmail for ladies!

I actually think this one is way cool and the price is probably justified because that is work intensive to the extreme.

Next up, Housewares, from which I submit to you this delightful pitcher to serve and confuse your guests:

Steel Skull Pitcher

It doesn’t really have a spout, and looks kind of hard to pour out of, but when you’re only paying $1,600 I guess you can’t afford to be choosy.

Another one I found legitimately impressive, from the “Toy” category, this laser-etched birch Settlers of Catan playing board:

With beautiful original artwork

I love this one. I would buy this one (maybe) if $430 weren’t a little steep. I wish he had other board games redesigned in this way.

How about the Science subcategory? From that, I submit to you:

This hand embroidered, scientifically accurate bisected human head

Sure, it’s $1,200, but it’s appropriate for all occasions! Birthdays, Christenings, Valentine’s Day… really anytime you want to show you care.

Finally, the “Kitsch” category. I’m not really sure what that means, and I’m even less sure about what I found there. The most expensive spot is a 5-way tie between 5 different products from the same person, all kind of like this:

Note the item details say it’s made of beads

As near as I can tell, this is the wall tapestry version of those little lizards and turtles and snakes we made as kids with big colorful beads and plastic string. Also this one, and each of its 4 brothers, is $10,000.

But I’m not letting you abandon the Kitsch subcategory just yet. Just below this puzzling beaded art is possibly the best thing I’ve ever seen on Etsy. Are you ready?

It’s a latch-hooked rug of Lex Luthor/Clark Kent forbidden love

According to the seller, it took 9 months to make, measures 18.6″ x 24″, and would make a great hanging “or a very interesting rug, although I can’t imagine anyone wanting to step on those beautiful faces.”

Truly, I know more about the world than I did this morning.

Next: Everything Else Category