So it’s time we for us to say goodbye to my longest running, and certainly most time consuming project to date: The Sam Neill Marathon. It may have started through a combination of boredom and coincidence, but I think we’ve all learned something along the way. Probably something about crocodiles or Australia. At least I hope you’ve learned who Sam Neill is. If not, here’s a visual:
I spent more than 136 hours watching as much of Sam Neill’s complete filmography as I could get my hands on through Netflix and Amazon, and it was pretty awesome. To celebrate, Steven and I went to see Jurassic Park 3D in IMAX the night it opened. It was the first time I’d ever seen a Sam Neill movie in theaters, so it was pretty exciting!
What do you do with YOUR ticket stubs?
I’d forgotten both the long parts of the movie that were just talking and not dinosaur attacks, and also that Sam Neill totally got upstaged by Muldoon’s shorts. Still, the perfect way to end this project!
And now, for the awards:
My #1 Sam Neill Title: The Dish
Seriously, I love this movie
I almost picked Jurassic Park because, come on, it’s Jurassic Park, but this movie is too adorable and inspiring to pass up. It may not have dinosaurs, but it does have space.
And science shorts!
It’s not available on Netflix Instant, but it is on Amazon Instant to rent for $3 if you feel like having a good time and feeling hope for humanity.
#1 Sam Neill Title You Can Watch On Netflix Instant Right Now: To the Ends of the Earth
It’s a 3 episode mini-series that you will like more than you thought
Because aside from a hilarious grumpy Sam Neill, a young Benedict Cumberbatch is the main character. Remember when I wrote this review not knowing who he was because Sherlock hadn’t become the biggest deal ever yet? Basically the primitive dark ages of entertainment, but this seafaring adventure consoled me. Get ready for lots of death, danger, and casual opium use (what? how else are you going to fight off 19th-century sea sicknes?); basically it’s Masterpiece Theater with a budget and the scandalous parts left in.
And Sam Neill looks like this the whole time, you’ll love it
Weirdest Sam Neill Movie: Perfect Strangers
It’s a romantic comedy! Where the guy is a corpse/hallucination!
It’s possible that this only wins because the description on Netflix made it sound like a normal romcom, totally neglecting to mention the random and unexplained kidnapping, murder, and hallucinating crazy times.
Best Movie Where Sam Neill is Crazy: In the Mouth of Madness
Sam Neill goes crazy fighting horror puppets after realizing he’s a fictional character
I can’t tell if this movie is meant to be horror or not, but regardless, it’s not scary at all, since all of the monsters are hilarious puppets.
My Favorite Sam Neill: Choppy McAxeFace
You probably knew this was coming
Possibly because the rest of this movie was kind of boring, but hey
Steven’s Top 3 Sam Neills
Steven has only seen 24 of these, or about 38%. He only willingly watched movies when he had some reason to suspect they might be good (or hilariously bad re:Merlin II), meaning he never saw 168 minutes of Montana scenery or the invisible antics of Chevy Chase. Therefore, I would say his opinions are way less informed than mine, but here are his top three Sam Neills:
Because dinosaurs and kickassness
2. Restoration
Hair! Puppies! King Charles II!
Steven couldn’t get over King Charles!Sam’s pack of adorable puppies that precede him everywhere. To be fair, neither could I.
3. The Tudors
He just wants your love. And to rule England.
Maybe I’ll write more updates in the future as new Sam Neill movies come out, but for now this marathon is at an end!
Previously: The Last Update
Next: Hunt for the Wilderpeople!!!
Future persons from the future will see this as one of the internet’s crowning achievements. Congratulations! I think I’ll read a few old interviews to celebrate.